Chapter 3: Mother (2/2)

The days following days were painful to me beyond compare as I watched my mother's health slowly waste away and before long, she became confined to her bed. I tried to hire all the doctors I could to treat my mother but was met with cold responses and was promptly shot down.

It wasn't until a few days later that I found out that those who took sympathy on my situation and tried to help mysteriously disappeared after their families were found dead. The rest of the doctors feared for their lives and the hospitals closed their doors to us.

I could do nothing but cry every day as my mother slowly wasted away and became too weak to even eat by herself. During those times I refused to let anyone else cook for her or feed her as I painstakingly tried to make soup for her despite my inexperience and I fed her every time. Eventually she didn't even have the energy to chew swallow on her own and refused to take any food after that.

The concept of death was still vague to me as I was still young but I instinctively knew that it wouldn't be long before I couldn't see her anymore. This led to me staying by her side each and every second of the day whilst holding her hand and I couldn't allow myself to even fall asleep. Every second I spent with her was very precious to me and this remained the same case until that fateful day.

On that day, she suddenly woke up with such strength that even I thought that she had recovered and, in that moment, she looked as beautiful as ever. She used that newfound strength to draw me into her embrace and whisper gently to my ears.

"You are a strong boy Aiden and I'm glad you turned out the way you are. When you live out the rest of your life after I'm gone, I want you to remember this. Not once have I regretted my decision to accept you father as his wife and not once have I ever regretted giving birth to you."

I did not know why but at that moment tears came unbidden to my eyes. I had a feeling and it was the meaning of that feeling that hurt me so much. Why did she sound as if she was saying goodbye?

She softly sighed as she heard my stifled sniffs and sobs.

"I have never regretted anything in my life but if there is anything I regret, it is not being able to stay with you for long enough. I wanted to sing more songs for you whenever you wake up. I wanted to be there when you finally grew old enough to venture out on your own and become the best man you could be."

Her voice started audibly cracking as I could feel warm moist drops of her tears falling onto my back. I felt the pain twist in my heart and in my soul.

She was crying.

This was the first time I heard mother cry. I started wailing out loud too as she continued speaking.

"I wanted to be there on the day you returned from your travels and hold you in my arms whilst telling you.... that you had finally grown up...….. I wanted to be the first one you tell when one day you came running to me after having found the girl to who stole your heart." Her voice started cracking more as she started to sob whilst talking and every one of her sobs was echoed by mine.

"How I wanted…*Sob* to be the first to hold your very first child…" She took a long pause as she held me more tightly.

"Aiden I'm sorry.." She apologized.

I did not want her to apologize! Nothing could ever make up for that priceless smile and love she always showered me with on the days I felt sad and broken.

"I am sorry…. that I couldn't be there with you ...for a longer time." She broke out into sobs once again before bringing her hands to my cheeks and lifting up my face to look at her.

The sight I saw was one I would never forget.

There she sat with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen in my life. Her snow-white hair fluttered softly in the breeze and her narrowed golden eyes glistening with tears radiated a charming light and a raw emotion that imprinted deeply into my mind. I saw boundless love in her eyes.

"Remember Aiden… no matter how tough things get after I'm gone, know that I will always be watching over you and I will live on through you in your thoughts and in your heart. No matter how lonely you feel, please know that you are never alone.

The gift that I gave you will carry you through your darkest times. It might lead to you to being hated, it might lead to you being feared and isolated but just know that just as it is meant to destroy, it is also meant to protect."

She warmly caressed my cheeks as she pressed her forehead against mine.

"Remember this Aiden… you have no enemies in this world… don't leave your life burdened by hate and vengeance. These people are not worthy of your hate. Promise me that you will live your life freely from all hate…. promise me that you will grow up to be a great man. I want you to fall in love… I want you to enjoy the company of others and above all…. I wish for you to be happy."

"Uhn…" I nodded as I broke down into fresh tears and wailed loudly.

"Good…." She replied as her voice started to grow weaker," I can rest easy now… thank…..you….for… being…part….of my life."

Her hands started to slowly loose strength and I could feel the movement of her blood through her forehead pressed on mine grow weaker.

"I love you..." She finally whispered before her eyes lost their light.

I embraced my hands around her and cried quietly as I tried very hard to suppress my sobs and stop the quivering of my small body.

It hurt so much.

I could barely see through my tears and I could barely breath through my sobs. This pain cut deeper than any insults of physical wounds anyone had ever inflicted upon me and the emptiness I felt in that moment was what made me realize…

My mother was now truly and utterly gone and with her went a very important part of me leaving a hole that nothing could ever fill.

Everyone was gone… my father was gone…. And my mother was now gone too.

I finally realized that I was now truly and utterly alone.

I laid my mother gently to the bed and closed her eyes that had once radiated that boundless amount of love. I knew they would never open again. The smile that remained etched on her face would accompany me for the rest of my life.

I gently caressed her cheeks and muttered words I wouldn't be able to say until many years later when I finally met her.

"I love you too."