Already Gone

Robin rarely heard anyone tell her they love her.

She never heard it from her parents, her band friends didn't love her at all, and she's never loved herself enough to truly feel it.

And the truth is, she doesn't tell those she cares about that she loves them, so it doesn't really surprise her when she hears a "goodnight" but no "I love you". She'd never had any close friends, she usually just kept to herself and hid her crush on Tammy Thompson from the world.

Until she started working with Steve Harrington.

The summer of 1985, she got a job at Scoops Ahoy to help her mom pay bills. It just so happened Steve "the hair" Harrington had applied there, too. And so they became co-workers. Robin had tried to keep her distance, because Steve had never had an amazing reputation in school. Sure, she was incredibly jealous and obsessed with him, but only because her crush was head over heels for the douchebag.

He actually wasn't as bad as she thought.

They became friends, teasing each other at work and she even started making fun of Steve when he'd fail at getting a date with a pretty girl. She had a data board for all the times he failed and for the zero times he 'ruled'.

But there was one thing he didn't know about her that would've destroyed their friendship. Robin's a lesbian.

She tried to keep that a secret because she didn't want to ruin her friendship with Steve the way she ruins everything else in her life, but after being drugged by Russian soldiers (believe it or not), he had confessed to her. He confessed his feelings for her. Robin's heart broke in that moment, because she didn't want to hurt him. She cared too much about him.

But she didn't want to lie to him, either. So she told him. And just when she thought her life was going to be dipped in shit once again, he laughed. Not at her. With her. He laughed at her taste in women, telling her she could do so much better than the singing muppet, Tammy Thompson. That was the moment the two went from friends to best friends.

They were inseparable. They got so close to the point where everyone thought they were dating. They cuddled at night because of nightmares of the battle of Starcourt, they were always together (if you saw one, you saw the other), they could always understand each other just by sharing a look, almost like they were speaking with just their eyes, and eventually, Robin moved in with him.

Why? Her mother kicked her out of the house. Robin never found out why, she just assumed she hadn't done enough. She assumed she hadn't cleaned the house enough or she didn't make enough money at Family Video to pay her mother's bills. But Steve didn't want her to be alone, so she moved into his guest bedroom. It wasn't the guest bedroom anymore after that. It was Robin's bedroom. Hers and hers alone.

The night she moved in was the first time she had heard the words "I love you" in a really long time.

"Hey, Rob?" She looked over at him, plopping down onto her bed with a sigh. "I love you."

Her eyes had widened and she felt tears swim in them. Her lips had curved into a gentle smile and the tears had slid down her cheeks. Steve's eyes showed concern and walked over to her, bending down next to her. "Did I say something wrong? I'm so sorry-"

Robin giggled, shaking her head and continued to cry. "No. No, you didn't. I love you too."

They both fantasized about a trip to Europe like Robin had always wanted, they'd feed each other ice cream and share beds like little kids, they were each other's best friend. They didn't need anything else. They had eventually started saving money for a trip to Europe. It was never their number one goal, but it was always a nice thought.

Robin was happy. She finally loved herself, she loved her friends. She met new people through Steve, and unfortunately, she had eventually developed a crush on his ex girlfriend. It was another secret. A secret she wouldn't tell this time. She couldn't bare to see the look on Steve's face if he ever found out. The thing about that is, she knows how much Steve loves her. She knows he wouldn't say a word about the situation, but he'd be devastated.

So that's a secret to be kept to herself.

Eventually, her picture perfect life with her best friend and new found close friends and found family went downhill. Vecna showed up. He started cursing people. There were deaths left and right, and eventually, he cursed one of Robin's close friends. Someone she saw as a sister, Max Mayfield. That was the last straw for her.

She swore to herself that she would be the one to kill him. She would live to see the motherfucker die and rot.

Things began to settle down after Vecna opened up four giant gates through the worlds. His bats had killed a close friend of Robin's, Eddie Munson. She tried to stay strong for her friends, specifically Dustin, but could never seem to keep the broken look off her face. Vecna had almost killed Max, and now she was in a coma. Nobody knew for sure if she would wake up.

She loved everyone, she couldn't stand seeing them like this; completely broken. Steve was the worst. He always blamed himself for what happened. The one time he wasn't the babysitter, someone died and someone almost died. Robin hadn't slept in her room in weeks, she had to be there for her best friend. He was her number one priority. She loved him so much.

So maybe that's why she's here, in the Upside Down. Maybe that's why she had pushed Steve out of the way when a wooden building they were around exploded after she stabbed Vecna in the back of the neck with a dagger, and now has a slab of wood in her stomach. Maybe that's why she's bleeding out.

Maybe that's why she's so willing to sacrifice herself for him.

She lays on the ground of the Upside Down, heavily breathing and wincing in pain. She doesn't know where she is. The blast had shot her pretty far away.

The last thing she remembers is Steve trying to get Dustin and Erica, who had run after the two of them, to safety. Vecna was going to attack the three of them, specifically aiming for Steve. She stabbed him with a scream, her entire life flashed before her eyes when Vecna screamed piercingly and caused the building to blow up. She pushed Steve out of the way before getting swung back. She remembers the wood piece impaling her, the sheer and utter pain she felt.

She had blacked out and had just now woken up.

Tears flow from her eyes, her body becomes weaker and weaker, and the pain slowly begins to fade. Her eyes are glassy, her mind is racing, and she doesn't know where the hell she is. She has no idea how much has passed since the incident, and a part of her doesn't care.

That's until she hears a familiar voice screaming her name. Her best friend.

"Robin!?" She blinks tears away, glancing over to her left and she sees Steve running through rubble and smoke, coughing while he desperately tries to find her. Robin tries to say his name and ends up coughing, her vision spirals when she tries to catch her breath. She can just barely see Steve turning to her, running at top speed and dropping down next to her.

"Robin!" He takes her hand in his, finally realizing the seeping blood coming from her stomach. He glances down in horror at the wood piece on the ground next to her and looks back up to his best friend. He cups her face, tears streaming down his face at the realization Robin's dying.

"Robin.. hey, hey look at me. Don't close your eyes. I'm gonna figure something out, you're going to be alright." Steve shakes his head, tears seeping into Robin's clothes. He takes his arms and puts pressure on her wounds, begging her to keep her breathing steady.

He can't lose her. Not now, not this way. Robin's his best friend, she's one of the only people he has left, one of the only people who understands him. "Robin, please.. God, please.. Robin, please don't leave me, please."

He cradles her in his arms, tears seeping out of his eyes while he desperately trying to put pressure on her wounds, but reaches no avail. "Robin, Robin please stay awake."

"I don't feel anything.. is that bad?" Her breaths are shaky and deep. She tries to fill her lungs with enough air to talk but only ends up coughing. Steve's arms stop applying pressure and he falls down into a hug-like position next to his best friend. He nods his head yes before clutching onto her arms. "It's okay.. don't cry.."

The air stills around them, the silence becomes loud. The only sounds heard are Steve's sobs and Robin's quiet wheezes and inhales. "I'm scared.." Steve looks up, wiping his eyes and going back to putting pressure on her wounds.

When nothing works with his hands, he bites the bottom of his shirt and rips a giant piece off, folding it over and applies pressure using that. Robin lets out a sigh, dropping her head on the ground.

Steve ties the shirt around Robin's body to the best of his ability, dropping down beside her and pressing his face in her shoulder. "You're an idiot, Robin.."

"I don't want to die, Steve.. I'm scared.."

"Y-You're not going to die, Rob. You're not gonna die just.. just wait." He's lying to her. To himself. Deep down, he knows he's about to lose his best friend.

"Where's Dustin and Erica.. are they okay?" Robin takes her hands and hugs Steve weakly, taking short and shallow breaths to try and limit her bleeding.

Steve lets out a painful laugh, sobbing. "They're fine.. they're with Nancy and the rest of the group.."

Robin chuckles, and looks up at the sky. She's always loved the night sky, how the stars shine in the night and the moon lights up the sky. In the upside down, there are no stars. The moon doesn't light up the sky. It's dull and gray. It's hauntingly beautiful.

She tries to breathe but no air fills her lungs, the air is thick, shallow even. "Is Nancy alright? She's not hurt is she-?" She's cut off by her own coughs, blood seeps out of her mouth and onto Steve's hand.

He lets out a sob, wiping the blood from her mouth. "She's okay.. they all are..."

He sits up, taking Robin in his arms once again. He grabs her hand, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. "You did it... he's gone.." He chuckles, wiping his tears away with his bloody hand. "We won.."

"Hell yeah.. I told you I'd kill the bastard." She laughs. Her eyes are getting heavier and blurrier.

"Steve I'm not ready to die.." She looks at him, his eyes are bloodshot and his face seems to crumble at her words. "I don't want to say goodbye."

Steve breaks down, running his fingers through Robin's hair, blood stains it, temporarily dying it red. "You're not going to die."

"Bullshit, Steve." Her hand falls from his face and her muscles loosen. She can fill her consciousness slipping away, and Steve can see it, too.

"Rob.. Robin, no. No, no. Nono, no don't you dare close your eyes. Promise me you're not going to close your eyes... you're going to be okay... Nancy will come looking for us any minute now, she'll get you help. Please.." He cries, rambling on about her getting help. He can hear Robin's shaky breaths get further and further apart.

"Robin, what about Europe? What about our trip to Europe? We're so close to having enough money to go..." Steve can feel himself dying along with Robin, she opens her mouth, ignoring the blood that seeps from it. "I promise I won't close my eyes..."

"Good.. good, just.. just.. fucking hell, you're so stupid, Robin. You shouldn't have pushed me out of the way, I just-" Robin cuts him off, squeezing his hand.

"It's okay.. saving you was the best decision I've ever made." She leans into his touch. Black spots swim in her vision.

"Robin... I don't know what I'm going to do without you. You can't do this to me, you can't leave... you can't fucking leave me alone!" He screams, taking one of his fists and slamming the ground in anger. "The world can't fucking take you away from me.."

Robin's ears are ringing. She can barely hear what he's saying. She musters the strength to pull herself closer to him. He's about to run and get help but she stops him. "Please don't go.. I don't want to die alone."

He pulls her closer to him, resting his head in the crook of her neck. "I'm not ready to lose you.."

"You won't lose me.. I'll haunt your nightmares." She chuckles, feeling heavier and heavier. "Not funny, Rob.."

"Hey.." Robin mumbles, her rattling breath is weak and shallow. She whimpers, wincing every now and then, too. She can't see anything anymore. Her entire vision is just gray and black. Steve cradles her in his arms, listening to each of her heartbeats slowly get further away from each other.

"Hm?" He cries. He feels numb.

"I love you, dingus." She feels her eyes roll, drifting out of consciousness.

She can't hold herself up against Steve anymore. She drops down, feeling him catch her and wipe her tears from her eyes.

It feels like an eternity before she faintly hears, "I love you more, Rob..".

Those words ring in her head, and it slowly fades away, being the last thing she ever hears.

Steve feels Robin's heart stop beating. He hears her take her last breath and that's when the wave of emotions hit him. He screams, so loud. He can't feel his face anymore, it's wet with tears.

Minutes go by while he cradles Robin in his arms. He mumbles soft assurances, knowing she's gone. His sobbing is so quiet it's loud, echoing around the upside down. He doesn't let Robin go, instead, he lays down, wrapping his arm around her. "It's okay.." he whispers, holding her tighter. "You're not alone.."

━•❃°•°❀°•°❃••❃°•°❀°•°❃•━

"Nance, where are you going?" Mike grabs his sister's hand, looking at her with concern. "You're not seriously going through the gate, are you?"

Nancy sighs, pulling Mike into a hug. "I'm going to get Steve and Robin. They've been in there too long." She pulls away, pressing a kiss to Mike's forehead, in which Mike turns away in embarrassment.

"I'll be back." She chuckles, watching him sit down next to Eleven, pulling her into his lap. She smiles gently, ruffling his hair and running in the gate.

She feels her entire world shift upside down, looking around, she finds everything's destroyed and the sky looks like it has smoke in it. She gets chills down her spine while she walks. "Steve? Robin?"

The air is unsettling, it doesn't feel right. Nancy feels as if something's wrong and she picks up the pace. "Steve? Robin? Are you guys okay?"

Then, she hears it. The sound of broken sobs, her heart stops for a minute, she feels stuck in place. No..

She runs towards the sound, the closer she gets, she can make out little words being mumbled. She knows who's crying now. Suddenly, the air gets thicker when her eyes land on him, Steve Harrington, laying on the ground of the Upside Down with his arms wrapped around Robin. His best friend.

"Steve?! Oh my God, what happened?" She runs over to the two of them, sliding onto her knees. Her breath hitches at the clear sight. Robin's blue eyes are open and glassy, looking up at the smoky, cloudy sky of the Upside Down.

Her eyes burn with tears and a broken sob escapes. "Robin.." She whispers, taking her fingers and gently closing her eyes.

Nancy's lost so much. Just when she thought things would get better, she loses another friend. Steve loses his best friend .

She looks over at him, picking him up off the ground and into her side. She can't imagine how he feels right now. "I'm so sorry.."

"This isn't fair.." He chokes out, it's barely a whisper. His voice cracks, breaking like he is. "It wasn't supposed to be this way.."

Nancy stares at Robin, silent tears flowing from her eyes. "What happened..?"

Her voice shakes, almost like she's running. She feels numb, her heart feels like it's slowing down at the sight. She didn't know she loved Robin this much. She takes Robin's hand. It's still warm and soft, just like her.

"I don't know.." He sobs, "She pushed me out of the way of a slab of wood, telling me to get Dustin and Erica out of the area.. I don't remember much... I got them out and went to find her and found Vecna dead and her on the ground.. I.. Nancy, she's gone. She's fucking gone. It's my fault I could've done something, I-"

"Don't.." She pulls him closer to her, running her fingers through his hair with one hand, holding Robin's in the other. "Don't do that to yourself.. there was nothing you could've done.."

She hates being strong. She's been strong for too long, her world is caving in on her, her friends are dying, her family is hurting, she doesn't know how long she can keep this up. In a way, she blames herself, too.

"I should've protected her.. like I promised her I would..." He goes limp, falling to the ground. Nancy picks him up, dragging him away from Robin. It's clear he doesn't want to leave her, he almost fights with Nancy, trying to get over to his best friend. "Steve, stop."

He cries, punching the ground again. He punches it so hard his knuckles begin bleeding. "She'd forgive you.. you know that.."

Nancy stands up, pulling Steve up off the ground. "I'm not leaving her." He stands still, holding himself tightly. He digs his nails into his skin, causing himself to bleed. "Steve, come on.. I-"

She doesn't know what to say, she doesn't want to leave Robin either. "We can't leave her here.."

Steve's not even talking in a voice anymore. His voice is just quiet, breaking whispers mixed with sobs. "We're not leaving her.. we'll come back for her- just- um..."

"We'll get Hopper to come back for her..." She says, finally. She looks down at Robin, hoping she hadn't gone in pain. She looks so peaceful, calm even. When she found them, she was staring at the sky. Nancy knows Robin loved the night sky.

She looks up, noticing how heartbreakingly beautiful the sky is. She hopes Robin had thought so, too.

"Come on.." Her voice breaks with a sob, pulling Steve into a side hug and walking away. Her heart pangs painfully while walking away. She feels like she's leaving her when she could do something to bring her back. But she can't. She's gone. Already Gone.

The two of them walk for what feels like an eternity, crying and shaking, taking breaks to pull themselves together. Steve's lost the light in his eyes. Nancy's sure she has, too.

They reach the gate, Nancy goes through, first. Falling into Mike's arms. Steve follows, Nancy pulls him close to her, letting him sit there.

The group stands up, Dustin looks behind them, eyes filling with tears when he notices the absence. "Where's Robin?" He looks down at the two of them, realizing what's going on.

Nancy looks up and meets Dustin's eyes, shaking her head tearfully. "She's gone.." She whispers, barely even audible. Dustin's knees give out from underneath him and he falls onto the ground, Erica grabs him and Eleven scoots over to hold him. Everyone feels an absence, almost a hole where Robin would be.

Everyone breaks down, even the ones who didn't know her well.

Vecna's gone, nobody can get hurt anymore. Everything's going to be okay in Hawkins, they can all go back to their normal lives.

It's over; they won. But it doesn't feel like a victory.