Your Grace, I Couldn’t Help But Love You

As the Grand Duke finally placed down his quill and looked up at Elias, Elias's heart practically skipped a beat at the intensity in the Grand Duke's eyes. He felt as though he was staring into another world entirely, and he was lost for words as he tried to express his gratitude for the poem that the Grand Duke had just written for him.

With golden curls that dance with light 

And hands that guide, gentle and bright 

His ocean eyes invite me in

And his soul shines like the brightest sun in my life.

Elias's eyes scanned the clean paper as he held with his fingertips trembling slightly, each stroke of the Grand Duke's handwriting was beautiful and perfect— the most perfect thing he ever saw in his entire life. Elias was almost in shock at the poem the Grand Duke had written for him. The words were so beautiful, so perfect, it was as if the Grand Duke had reached deep into his soul and pulled out the very essence of what Elias felt towards him. Every line of the poem made his heart ache with love and admiration for the Grand Duke, and he felt a lump form in his throat.

How beautiful, He thought, and how cruel, knowing that fate divided us between two levels, I couldn't reach his heart from above. 

In Elias's heart, he knew that it was impossible to be together with The Grand Duke, yet why did his heart choses him? Was it because of his looks? Was it because of his wealth? The Grand Duke is a tyrant, everyone knows it, but this side of the Grand Duke makes him even more fell for him. 

It makes him want to admit his impossible love, It makes him want to hold the older man in his arms…

How cruel indeed.

How can a pitiful commoner, like Elias, possibly make the Grand Duke's heart reciprocate for his feelings? 

Elias sat quietly, staring at the poem that the Grand Duke had written for him. He felt like his heart was overflowing with emotions he couldn't even begin to name. He had never felt anything like this before in his life, and it scared him. He didn't want to feel this way, especially for someone who was so far above him in society. It seemed impossible for a commoner like him to ever be with the Grand Duke, but he couldn't help the way he felt. 

As he thought about the cruel twists of fate that kept him and the Grand Duke apart, Elias felt a tear slip down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly, not wanting anyone to see him cry. He knew that his feelings were wrong, and he hated himself for feeling them. But despite all of his efforts, he couldn't seem to push the Grand Duke out of his heart. 

It was a cruel joke, really. How could Elias, a commoner, ever hope to be with someone like the Grand Duke? It was impossible, and yet here he was, with feelings he couldn't control or explain. Elias felt like he was trapped in an impossible situation, with no way out. He knew that he needed to try and move on, but he wasn't sure if he was capable of letting the Grand Duke go.

The poem was so beautifully written that he couldn't help but feel a sense of longing for the Grand Duke, a longing he knew could never be fulfilled.

The Grand Duke was so far out of his reach, an impossible dream he knew he could never have.

Elias knew that it was foolish to love a man who was so far above him, who could never see him as an equal. He felt a sense of shame wash over him, as if he was being selfish for feeling this way.

For a moment, he felt like he was drowning in a sea of his own emotions, the weight of his love for the Grand Duke crushing him from within. He felt trapped, like there was no way out of his own heart.

The Grand Duke felt a little odd to the silence, he spoke gently, "Elias, did you like it?" He knew that Elias could read, His father talked about it with him during his meeting with him.

It's still early, Kaiser would like to teach him more if Elias wants to. The sun had settled but the clouds remained tainted with pinkish and red dye in the peaceful sky. The Grand Duke doesn't know what Elias's been feeling up to, but Kaiser knew it's good that he could interact with Elias this way, to make up also about the Rosette river incident, for he couldn't apologize for that one particular reason. It's just that, his ego couldn't afford to do it.

Elias felt his heart racing as he looked up at The Grand Duke, his eyes filled with unsaid words. It was as though he wanted to express everything that he had been feeling since that day in the forest, but he didn't know how. For a moment, he wondered if he should just admit the truth and tell The Grand Duke how he felt, but he was afraid that it would all go wrong. 

At that moment when The Grand Duke spoke, breaking the silence between them. "Did you like the poem?" he asked him, his voice soft and gentle. 

Elias took a deep breath, trying to steady himself before answering, "Yes, Your Grace. It was... beautiful," he said, his voice shaking slightly. He could feel The Grand Duke's eyes on him, studying him, and he felt a flush of embarrassment and guilt wash over him. 

The Grand Duke nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I'm glad you liked it." he said, his voice warm and kind, like a whole different person.

Elias felt the blood rushing to his face, his heart pounding in his chest. He clasped the justaucorps tighter, He didn't know what to say, but he felt a deep sense of gratitude towards The Grand Duke for his kindness. 

"Thank you," he finally managed to reply, his voice barely above a whisper. He knew that he should say more, should explain how much The Grand Duke's gesture had meant to him, but the words wouldn't come. 

"It's…it's beautiful," Elias'ss voice was shaky. "I never would have imagined… I've never been able to express my feelings so clearly." 

The Grand Duke's eyes widened slightly as he took in Elias's words. He had known that Elias had been through a lot and had probably never had anyone to speak to, but this? This was something else entirely. It was like he had finally found a connection, something that neither of them had ever felt before.

The Grand Duke seemed to understand, his smile growing wider, "It's my pleasure, Elias," he said, his voice filled with genuine kindness. "I hope we can spend more time together, get to know each other better."

Elias felt a lump form in his throat, the weight of his emotions almost too much to bear. He nodded, unable to speak, but he knew that he wanted nothing more than to spend time with The Grand Duke, to get to know him better and to learn more about the man that he admired so deeply.

No.. 

No, I don't want to..

The more I get close to you, Your Grace, the more my heart tends to rip apart, but I couldn't help but love you.

As Elias sat there, trying to process his emotions, he could feel his stomach turning inside out. He had never felt so much pain and longing before, and the thought of being separated from the Grand Duke for even a moment made him feel like he was suffocating. 

He knew that his love was complicated and unrequited, but he couldn't help but hold onto it. It made him feel alive in a way that nothing else could, even though it caused him so much pain. 

He closed his eyes, trying to push those thoughts away, but they kept coming back, over and over again. It was like an endless loop of pain and torment, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Finally, he let out a deep, shuddering breath, and opened his eyes again. He knew he had to be strong, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He had to push through the pain, and keep on going, even if his heart was screaming out for the Grand Duke.

The Grand duke was beside him— where the softest pillows on earth were placed, The Grand Duke was leaning against the postbed, His eyes closed and his doll-like face was relaxed. It may be because The Grand Duke was drunk that his body was more relaxed and slept out of consciousness.

Elias wanted to give back the Grand Duke's justaucorps, but his hand seemed to hold it tightly, he didn't want to let go. The Grand Duke's justaucorps is a precious treasure, it was passed through history by history of the Dämonisch. It's a sacred imperial clothing that if someone happened to tear its threads, they would be beheaded. 

Yet, The Grand Duke lent it to him in order to comfort him, like it meant nothing for The Grand Duke.

Elias couldn't understand why the Grand Duke would be so kind to him. It was unheard of, and yet Elias couldn't help but feel grateful for the gesture. He held the justaucorps tightly, relishing the soft fabric against his fingers. It was a reminder of the Grand Duke's kindness, something that he could hold on to when he felt alone. And yet, it also served as a reminder of the distance between them. 

As much as Elias wanted to be closer to the Grand Duke, he knew that it was impossible. He couldn't help but feel a sense of regret for his impossible love, and yet he couldn't seem to let it go. He was trapped in a cycle of longing and despair, unable to escape the hold that the Grand Duke had over him.

As the Grand Duke lay huddled under the covers, Elias watched him with a mix of awe and reverence. The Grand Duke had been a force of power and authority to Elias, someone to be feared and respected. But in that moment, he was a vulnerable sleeper, with his breath steadily rising and falling. Elias couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt as he gazed at his beloved. 

The Grand Duke looked so peaceful, so serene, and Elias was captivated by the sight. Elias took his opportunity to gaze dearly to his beloved, His fingertips swept gently and carefully to the Grand Duke's little hair, framing his face messy, then he tucked one another.

As he watched, Elias noticed the beauty marks on the Grand Duke's face. He marveled at how they made him look even more enigmatic and attractive. It was as if the Grand Duke was a painting come to life, with each detail adding to his overall beauty.

The Grand Duke's beauty marks were located on his cheeks, neck and the tip of his right ear. The Grand Duke looked very relaxed, his breath was even, his long eyelashes rested while he slept. Elias thought that the Grand Duke has much resemblance to the woman in the painting at the ground floor, the bridge of his nose, his lips, and the contour of his jaws are much alike that the man in the previous painting.

In the meantime, It's getting late and time for dinner. He had to wake up the Grand Duke in order to not skip his meal, Kaiser slept for the past two hours and a half, while Elias lost in a deep thought.

Elias knew that he needed to wake The Grand Duke up, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He just wanted to sit there and stare at him forever. But he knew that eventually, he had to wake him up. 

So, he hesitantly reached out and gently shook The Grand Duke's shoulder. "Your Grace," he whispered, not wanting to startle him. "It's almost dinner time." 

The Grand Duke stirred slightly before opening one eye and blinking a few times. "Mm, what?" he muttered, still half-asleep. 

"Dinner's almost up," Elias said softly. "You can't skip another meal." 

The Grand Duke's bleary gaze shifted to him before he nodded and slowly sat up, stretching his limbs with a few groans. "I know, I know. Let's go, then."

Elias uttered awkwardly, "Uh.. Your Grace, I couldn't walk still.. my thighs aren't healed yet.." 

This isn't also Kaiser's room to wash his face either, so when he went to look for his basin, he felt odd, why did his basin disappear? Not until Elias spoke, he realized it was not his room, but Elias's— the guest room!

He looked around in bewilderment before realizing that his basin was missing, not that the basin was missing, but in a wrong place. He turned to Elias with a questioning look. "Ah, I must have forgotten that I'm in your guest room." the Grand Duke awkwardly coughed.

Elias nodded in response, "The butler told me earlier that Beth would deliver the dinner in my room since I can't stand yet." Elias said.

Kaiser nodded stiffly, he felt very awkward, he just slept with Elias, sleeping while sitting too! he must've drank a lot of brandy, his ego was hurt, how could he sleep in someone's room.. 

The Grand Duke's face flushed with embarrassment as he realized that he had made a mistake. He cleared his throat and stood up, trying to act as though nothing had happened. 

"I apologize, Elias," he said, his voice laced with a mix of guilt and embarrassment. "I must have been more tired than I thought. Please forgive me." 

Elias's face softened as he looked at the Grand Duke. He could see the guilt and shame in his eyes, and it made him feel sympathetic. He reached out and placed a hand on the Grand Duke's arm but then he retracted, knowing that The Grand Duke must be sober, he would surely flick his hand off.

"There's no need to apologize, Your Grace," he said gently. "It's an honest mistake." 

Kaiser was grateful for Elias's kindness, but he was also frustrated with himself for letting his guard down. He couldn't help but feel that it must've been his drunkenness that made him forget everything.

"Then, I shall go to my room now." Kaiser said, straightening his waistcoat. 

"Wait!" Elias unintentionally tugged on The Grand Duke's waistcoat (first offense), afraid that the death might be kissing his cheek, Elias quickly added, "I would like to give back the justaucorps." 

The Grand Duke turned to Elias as he spoke, his eyes flickering with a mixture of confusion and amusement. Elias could feel his cheeks flushing as he realized what he had done. 

"Oh, of course." The Grand Duke said, reaching out to take the justaucorps. His fingers brushed against Elias's for a moment, sending a jolt of electricity through the young man's body. 

As The Grand Duke put on the justaucorps, Elias couldn't help but watch him with admiration. The Grand Duke's broad shoulders, strong jawline, and piercing lavender eyes were even more striking up close. Elias felt a pang of regret that he couldn't be with The Grand Duke the way he wanted.

"Thank you, Elias," The Grand Duke finally said, snapping Elias out of his thoughts. "I appreciate it." Elias nodded mutely, feeling a strange mixture of emotions coursing through him. He couldn't shake the feeling That being so close to the Grand Duke was a dangerous game, but he didn't want to let go.

As stood near the room's door, He noticed that the door was slightly open. Is someone going to check Elias? or, has someone been here all the time, watching them? Or could it be his own mistake when he entered the room in a state of drunkenness. But Kaiser brushed it off and closed the door behind him, Walking on the way to his own room.

Elias listened to The Grand Duke's resounding heels, meeting the marble tiles of the palace as it faded. He thought he wouldn't give back the justaucorps, but he didn't want to commit another crime. 

But then he realized something, this realization felt like Ezra just hit his head with a pan— he forgot to ask the Grand Duke's name in the state of drunkenness!

As Kaiser walked through the empty dark hallway, he felt a chill run down his spine. He tried to shake it off as just the effects of the alcohol were still coursing through his veins. But his heart sank when he turned the corner and saw something that made him stop dead in his tracks. It looked like a shadow standing at the window, peering out into the night. 

Kaiser's mind raced as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Has someone managed to escape from their cell? Was someone waiting for him at the other side of the window, ready to attack? Was someone about to assassinate him? 

Slowly, he approached the shadow, his heart pounding in his chest. As he drew closer, he realized that the shadow wasn't moving at all. It was just a tree, swaying in the night breeze.