Chapter 12 - Sensing pheromones for the first time

What would happen if the human brain had a little button that switched off emotions? Would people have the courage to press it to escape the pain that such emotions cause? Probably not, as it would prevent them from feeling the good emotions too. Giving up happiness to escape pain was something not everyone was willing to do.

However, there was one person who chose certain emotions in order to lock them behind a door. It was necessary to lock them away for his survival.

His emotions could kill him at any moment.

So wouldn't it be better not to feel them?

This idea worked for a few years, keeping not only himself but also his loved ones safe. All that mattered was that those who lived inside his bubble were okay. 

The rest didn't matter.

That's why Nathaniel generally didn't get involved in other people's problems.

Nobody asked for his help, and he didn't reach out to help either. He knew very well that very few people were comfortable with his presence. It was noticeable when he left the house without a mask and people stared at him and even ran away from him as if he were Frankenstein.

However, there was one person who seemed to escape this rule, and who also pulled him out of it.

From the moment they saw each other at the college gates, Jake was someone you couldn't stop looking at. Something about him was striking, that's all.

Perhaps it was precisely because of him that Nathaniel had accepted Guilherme's invitation to go out. He wouldn't mind being left on the sidelines in the restaurant while the beta had fun with his friends. 

After all, he could watch that alpha from afar and feel the time pass.

Staring at his gloved hand, the boy couldn't quite explain what was happening to himself. His body had moved on its own, rising from his chair to intervene in the argument, even though he had noticed that Jake was a strong boy who could handle himself. Still, Nathaniel had to interfere.

Funny how things just happened when it came to that alpha.

It was the same when Jake asked him out for coffee. 

Nathaniel could have refused, since he hadn't helped him to get something in return or to get his gratitude. He just did it because he wanted to.

Sighing under his mask, Nathaniel looked around, realising how long it had taken Guilherme to come back from the bathroom. Checking the window, he didn't see him with the boys who had gone out to smoke. 

Just as well.

Getting up, Nathaniel searched for Guilherme without seeing a trace of him. Should he check the loo?

Taking advantage of the fact that Jake was nearby, he asked him where the toilet was and then crossed the restaurant to look for the blond boy. Nathaniel hoped he wasn't unwell, as it was the first time he'd drunk socially. He'd get scolded if he took him home drunk.

In the dark corridor, Nathaniel was about to enter the bathroom when he saw another door ajar. Through the crack, he recognised the blond hair and denim jacket that Guilherme was wearing. Approaching the door, he wasn't surprised to see Caspian there too.

Nathaniel unceremoniously opened the door and left the restaurant. They were in a narrow, partly dark alleyway and could still hear the music coming from the restaurant. The two other boys noticed his arrival, which seemed to interrupt their conversation.

— Ha! It took you a while to turn up.

— Nath, let's go in.

— At the end of the day, you're still the same shameless beta, aren't you? It's not until this one turns up that you run away with your tail between your legs.

Nathaniel never understood why that redhead was so inconvenient. 

It wasn't the first time he'd annoyed Guilherme. Ever since they were at school, the three of them had been in a seemingly endless argument. He had imagined that this persecution would come to an end when Caspian and Nathaniel graduated from high school, but he seemed to have been mistaken. 

Why was Caspian there?

— Don't you get tired? — Nathaniel asked, tilting his head — Every time you see Guilherme, you rush to tease him like a mongrel.

— And you always turn up to save the day, aren't you a great hero? I see you're still together.

— Nath, please ignore him.

— Have you forgotten that you're only with this beta because I rejected him?

Nathaniel arched an eyebrow. 

People often say strange things.

— Shut up, Caspian! — Guilherme scolded, tugging on the Joker's arm — Let's go in, I'm begging you.

— What? Didn't he tell you? About how in love he was at school.

— That was before Nath came to school, stop talking as if I'd cheated on someone!

He knew that Guilherme used to like Caspian, after all, when the blond was rejected it took him days to stop crying. It was hard to comfort the beta, but in the end he promised that he would be there for him and that he would never feel alone.

In a way, it was a promise that he still kept precisely because people like Caspian existed in that world.

It was annoying.

But... Nathaniel hadn't pressed that damn button?

Then why was his blood boiling as if he'd reached his limit?

— I'm just warning him how shameless you are — Caspian shrugged — What guarantees that you'll be together forever? You might change owners...

Before Caspian had even finished speaking, Nathaniel punched him hard in the face. The alpha staggered and leaned against the red brick wall, staring incredulously at the masked man who was staring at him menacingly.

— You talk too much.

— Ha! Hahahaha! What? Don't tell me you're angry about this beta?

Another punch was thrown, but this time Nathaniel held him by the collar of his shirt without allowing him to fall to the ground. Caspian pushed him by the shoulders, losing patience to start a fight while Guilherme tried to stop them. 

Nothing had changed.

It was as if they were still at school.

Caspian would chase Guilherme, always mentioning the beta's statement, until Nathaniel reached the limit of his patience and started fighting. 

The strange sensation was also the same. His hot blood coursing through his body and the crazy urge to punch him until he stopped breathing. It was like standing in front of a door you couldn't close because someone stronger wanted to get through. 

If Nathaniel punched him in the mouth, he could make that bastard stop talking, couldn't he?

To his surprise, Caspian had also become stronger since the last time they had seen each other at school. He returned Nathaniel's punches to his stomach and managed to push him away and even hold on to some of his punches. The Joker even gasped when he received a knee to the stomach.

— You shouldn't have messed with me, you son of a bitch.

Caspian ripped Nathaniel's mask off, his eyes widening at the scar that appeared at the corner of his lips. Little did he know that he had crossed a line that should never be crossed. 

Taking off his mask was like opening the damn door and forcing him to remember what would kill him at any moment.

Nathaniel furiously grabbed Caspian's face, squeezing it with his fingertips. 

His patience had definitely run out. He should have taken care of that piece of rubbish a long time ago. If he let him go free, he would surely come back asking for more. He was so angry that, without even realising it, his body began to exude a sweet aroma. 

As soon as he smelled it, Caspian bit Nathaniel's gloved hand and grinned mockingly when he was finally released.

— I can't believe it! Hahahaha, are you a fucking omega? Scolding like you're an alpha, when you're actually an omega!

An omega?

Who's an omega?

Well, not that it would make any difference. Landing another punch on Caspian, Nathaniel made it clear that he was still strong enough to finish him off. He would certainly have punched him even harder if it hadn't been for a strange smell in the air.

A strong scent that paralysed his whole body and increased the redhead's arrogance. 

What was that smell?

And why couldn't his body move properly?

Tum tum

Tum tum

Nathaniel could feel his heart begin to race in his chest, and the strength faded as the smell grew stronger and stronger. He had never smelt such a strong aroma. The sensation he was experiencing was indescribable, because it was so unfamiliar. Nathaniel didn't know what to do.

His body was simply acting very strangely.

The heat was rising up his legs and spreading to his ears, making it difficult for him to breathe. He was without his mask and still felt stuffy? And why did he feel so weak? Why was he sweating so much?

— Hahaha, in the end you're just an omega begging to be fucked.

Caspian pushed Nathaniel's shoulders so that he fell to the ground. His body didn't respond to any commands, so should he just expect to be beaten like that? The red-haired man stood over him, looking victorious in the fight, raising his fist in delight at the moment.

What was he supposed to do?

What the hell was going on?

— What the fuck are you doing?

Nathaniel saw only one punch hit Caspian, knocking him to the ground. 

Who was there?

— Nath, are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?

Guilherme hugged him and Nathaniel's whole body shivered, letting out a gasp. It was becoming unbearable to bear the sudden heat. That smell seemed to have permeated him, making him nauseous, as well as worsening the pain from the punches he had received.

— I called Jake to help, it's going to be okay, hm?

Jake?

Immediately Nathaniel saw Jake push Caspian out of the alley. From a distance, his back looked like an enormous wall. He assumed he was a typical alpha, although it hardly mattered at the moment.

— What's going on, Nath? — Guilherme whimpered, then raised his head — Jake? What should I do?

The dark-haired alpha approached, crouching down next to Nathaniel. As soon as he felt his hand touch his face, the joker sighed at the coolness of his skin. It was refreshing and relieved the unbearable heat.

— That smell... It's an alpha pheromone, but I can sense something beyond that. What happened?

— They started fighting, and Caspian said something about omega, I didn't really understand because I went after you straight away.

His head hurt from following that conversation. Closing his eyes in an attempt to rest, Nathaniel grimaced and grumbled as he took a deep breath.

Damn, he could still smell it.

— It would be better to rid Nathaniel of that guy's pheromones, but I don't know how he'll react, he doesn't look well.

— That time you covered him with your pheromone, didn't you? He didn't get sick or anything, so you can't do it again?

Why were you talking so much?

Couldn't you put an end to that martyrdom? 

That smell was nauseating and made his whole body feel funny. Nathaniel didn't feel well, he was weak and could barely think straight. So many strange and uncomfortable sensations only increased his nausea. 

With his head held high by the alpha, Nathaniel was surprised by how close they were. Even in the dark, he could see the clear eyes that seemed the colour of the sky on a sunny day.

— Nathaniel, you've been covered in an alpha's pheromones, and your body is reacting. I don't know if that's good or bad, so tell me what you're feeling.

What was he feeling?

It was difficult to explain everything.

Grimacing, Nathaniel shrugged his shoulders and let out a low moan at the shiver that ran through his entire body. No matter how hard he tried to fight those strange sensations, every time he breathed he could smell that disgusting aroma.

— I'm sick, that smell is... Horrible.

— Can't you cover it with your pheromones, Jake?

— If he's already like this with that guy's pheromones, there's no guarantee that mine will help. I'm an alpha too.

Ah... So it was all because of the pheromones?

It was the first time he'd smelt pheromones. 

They were horrible.

Nathaniel didn't want to smell anything else.

— What if it's a low amount? Can you do it?

Jake grimaced, not looking too happy about the idea. However, Nathaniel was getting weaker and weaker in front of him. It was kind of embarrassing to be sick in front of that alpha, but there was nothing he could do about it.

— Look, Nathaniel, I'm going to release some of my pheromones. It's for your own good, I swear I'll do it just to make you better, hm?

Nathaniel felt himself being wrapped in a pair of cold arms and his body being moved to sit down. He had to close his eyes to avoid gouging himself right there, and only felt comfortable when his head was resting on something.

Ah, he could hear the sound of something beating fast.

It was a low sound, but the beats were strong and fascinating. He could follow them in thought, enjoying the rhythm.

Little by little, the cloying odour was replaced by a woody scent. It was the first time he had smelt that kind of perfume, and it wasn't so bad. His breathing calmed down as he tried to smell more of that curious aroma.

It was delicious.

Along with the coolness of that body, Nathaniel was finally free of the sensation of his skin prickling. In fact, if he were to compare that moment, he would say that he was sitting in a beautiful field on a summer's day, enjoying the calm of summer.

Opening his eyes a little, he saw Jake's face so close to his that he realised he could feel his breath on his cheek. Although he didn't move, Nathaniel knew that his head was resting against the alpha's chest and that it was his heart he could hear beating so beautifully.

Were those Jake's pheromones?

The frightening door was being carefully closed, and the explosive emotions went out in a puff of candlelight. 

Would it be all right if he could stay in that embrace for a while longer?