Chapter 14 - Awake at dawn

As soon as he entered his room, Nathaniel removed his hood and cap, followed by his mask. Taking a deep breath, he could still smell the woody odour of his clothes.

It had been a tiring day.

Going to the bathroom, he stared at his own reflection, grimacing slightly at the bruise near his mouth. It was a good thing he didn't run into his mum when he got home, otherwise she would have been worried.

— I'd better wear the mask indoors for a few days... — Turning towards the shower, he considered whether or not to take a bath — That smell will go away if I take a bath, won't it?

It was the first time he had ever smelt someone's pheromones. Not even the time he'd helped Jake had he felt anything, but tonight he'd been able to experience a little of the world he'd been excluded from since birth.

Caspian's pheromones were horrible.

Just remembering them made his stomach turn. However, his body had reacted in a strange way, as if he couldn't control it. It was like being on a rollercoaster against your will, fearing that you would fall off and die dramatically.

As for Jake's pheromones...

Pulling up his blouse and sniffing, he felt Jake's pheromones.

If he closed his eyes, he could still remember the rhythm of his heart beating in his chest.

Nathaniel could also feel the cosiness of his arms around him and his breathing so close...

They were completely opposite sensations, different from each other.

How intriguing.

Turning his back on the bathroom, Nathaniel decided not to shower. Sitting up in bed, he checked the clock, which was already striking midnight. The next day would still be Sunday, and they wouldn't have class until Tuesday. He wouldn't have to worry about timetables, but when it came to sleeping, that would always be a problem.

— If I lie down, will I be able to sleep?

He felt exhausted, of course.

Withstanding those pheromones wasn't easy.

Lying down on the bed, Nathaniel sighed tiredly, enjoying the woody scent of Jake's pheromones. And while he was remembering how the alpha had helped him that night, he fell asleep without realising it.

But of course his mind wouldn't let him rest in peace.

Like every night, Nathaniel had a dream.

Or rather, a nightmare.

It was always the same, that person next to him driving the car while they had fun and then a loud light and then the crash.

As if having to dream about the exact moment when his life changed wasn't enough, he still remembered the pain he felt. The sensation of blood dripping down his body, his face throbbing and the moment he lost consciousness.

It was despair that woke Nathaniel up, sweaty and panting, and he sat up in bed. His eyes bulging and his hands clenching the sheets, it took him a few moments to situate himself and calm down.

When Nathaniel looked at the clock, it was already four in the morning.

— I slept for four hours? How strange...

Getting out of bed, Nathaniel wiped his sweat off with his shirt. It was surprising that he had managed to sleep for so long, usually he could only sleep for an hour or two at most before waking up because of nightmares. 

As he wiped himself with his shirt, he remembered that he had fallen asleep while feeling the pheromones of an alpha.

— It had subsided...

It was a shame. That scent was really good.

Taking off his gloves and shirt, Nathaniel took a shower to relax. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep, his body wouldn't rest at all. Not to mention the fact that he hated having nightmares.

As soon as he had finished showering, Nathaniel stopped in front of the mirror. His scarred body was enough to prevent him from seeing his own reflection, and now with the bruise it was even worse. In the past he used to be vain and take care of his appearance, as he liked it when he was complimented.

But that became meaningless when the accident happened.

His body was... hideous.

The scar on his face was the worst of all, like a nightmare that would never leave him. Every time he looked at it, he would remember it.

Looking down at the scar on his chest, he found his second nightmare that would make him deeply regret his existence.

Even his hands had small scars, and looking at them was as if he could still see the shards of glass from the car stuck in his flesh.

Nathaniel could no longer like himself. If he showed that, his family would certainly be worried.

He didn't want to worry anyone. At least that bruise would be gone in a few days, without a trace.

Applying an ointment to treat the wound, the boy soon left the bathroom and went to his room to put on sweatpants and a loose shirt. He dried his copper-brown hair and didn't even comb it, then went to his study table where he began to do some college work.

Since he wasn't going to sleep, he could get ahead on some of his college work. Some teachers knew very well that their students would take advantage of the holiday to have fun and escape from their homework, and perhaps that was precisely why they crammed a lot of work in.

But for Nathaniel, it was a great escape route.

While quietly reading a book, Nathaniel switched on his computer to try to do some research. After a while of concentrated study, he decided to take a break and browse the internet for a while.

To his surprise, when he logged into his Orkut account, he saw a friend request.

Jake Mckenzie.

The profile picture looked like it had been taken at a party, as the alpha was smiling with a glass in his hand somewhere decorated. And unlike his profile, Jake had lots of friends and several testimonials.

Well, that wasn't surprising. Jake seemed to be a cool guy who made friends easily. Even Nathaniel was tempted to be his friend.

"— So, how about we be friends from now on?"

That question sounded so natural that Nathaniel wondered if it was a dream of his.

Why did he want to be his friend?

It had been years since Nathaniel had had a friendship.

And seeing the friend request on Orkut made his heart race with anxiety. What would happen if he accepted his request? Would it make their friendship official? Or would it be no big deal?

Accepting the request, Nathaniel found himself curious to see more of Jake's profile.

What kind of person was he?

What did he like?

Was he kind to other people too?

Curiosity won out effortlessly.

Exploring the photos he had posted on his profile, Nathaniel realised that Jake McKenzie lived in a completely different world to his own.

— He looks like those popular kids in the books Guilherme likes to read — he mumbled as he moved on to another photo — Hm, is that him?

Jake looked different in that photo.

He seemed to be wearing a volleyball team uniform and his hair was platinum. In the photo, there was also another boy with similar features to the alpha, but his hair was blond. From the date on the photo, Nathaniel did the maths mentally and then sighed.

— Was he in secondary school? So he coloured his hair... 

Hm... It was nice.

Putting the computer aside, he went back to reading his book. He'd been distracted enough, so he could study some more. He didn't pay much attention to the fact that he'd seen a photo of Jake with platinum hair; he'd already solved his doubts.

He was popular and friendly with everyone.

And he would probably treat Nathaniel the same way he treated everyone else.

At the thought, a small smile appeared on his lips.

Nathaniel couldn't wait for the holiday to be over so that he could go back to college on Wednesday.

His thoughts were interrupted when the bedroom door was opened. The man in pyjamas and short hair walked in looking at Nathaniel and gave him a weak smile. 

— I'm sorry, Loreto. Did I wake you?

— No, it's time to get up, and I saw your bedroom light on. 

Loreto was his stepfather. A military officer who seemed to be kind even to soldiers. At least, Nathaniel had never seen him being strict. Strong and tall, he could frighten anyone who didn't know him. Although deep down he was a good person.

His stepfather walked into the room and approached the study table. Leaning on the wall, he crossed his arms and pointed at the boy's face.

— What's that bruise?

— Ah... It was a fight. But I'm fine.

— Did you get into a fight? Why did you get into a fight?

Nathaniel wiggled his fingers and lowered his eyes, undecided whether or not to tell the truth. He didn't like lying, he knew it would always lead to headaches in the future. Besides, the truth would come out one day.

Not to mention that Loreto was a father. Fathers always find things out.

— A guy was picking on Gui, so I just made him shut up.

— Guilherme? — Loreto was about to ask more, but stopped himself. Finally, he sighed and stroked Nathaniel's shoulders — As much as I appreciate you protecting your brother, I don't like to see you getting into trouble either.

— He's family, so that's fine. 

— Was it someone from college? I smelt alcohol coming from Guilherme.

— No, it was from another college. It seems to be the rival team, so this kind of fight must be common.

Loreto sighed again, looking worried.

— If his mum finds out, she'll ask him to leave the team, that's for sure.

— It's okay — Nathaniel whispered, remembering the moment Jake had turned up to throw Caspian out of the alley — The team has good people who can help protect Gui.

Exactly.

Jake was a good person who reached out to Guilherme and even helped Nathaniel with the pheromones. Even when he was the one who received help, he sought out the joker to buy him a coffee and return the kindness. 

Nathaniel was willing to trust that kindness.

— But what about you? If you got into a fight, you must have felt something.

Oh, that's right.

Nathaniel completely forgot about his condition.

He was so enraptured by the alpha pheromone that he didn't even check whether his body was okay or not. I mean, if it hadn't been for Caspian's pheromones, he probably would have felt some discomfort or something... As if he was bound to feel pain anyway that night.

— No. I'm fine.

— Really? If you feel anything, let me know and I'll take you to the hospital.

The caress he received on his shoulder was warm and gentle. Nathaniel was surrounded by people who seemed to care about him.

It was comforting.

— Hm, I'm fine.