~3~

I take my arms away from my face. Mostly to get away from the torrent of insults, and general panic, being hurled my way from the viewers. And to also not have to look at my minuscule oxygen supply left.

Why am I like this? My general frustrations with myself begin to violently bubble up.

Why am I just so STUPID!? I slam my hands back up against my forcefield-protected head and groaned in abject frustration.

"I deserve to die out here!" I unknowingly said out loud, and immediately wince at the outburst because I knew-

Veep, beep, vbeep!

My audience would panic.

Great.

I just made a shitty situation worse...

"Guys, calm down, I didn't mean it. I'm just frustrated with myself and-"

Whoosh!

My stomach dropped.

I heard that.

I KNOW I heard that!!

The vibrating messages from paid and private messages coming through didn't make so much as a sound, but just created a sensation I was aware of.

But I heard something move past me.

"D-did you guys hear that!?"

I panickily asked the only other people with me that could verify if I was going insane or not.

Once you're surrounded by deafening unending silence, you are more than 100% sure when you actually HEAR something...

[Hear what?]

[Is she finally going insane?]

[The lack of oxygen is getting to you! Quick! SWIM UP!!]

[I think I heard something but I'm not to sure!]

[YES! I definitely heard something!!]

Not sure what to believe, if my audience was messing with me or if I truly heard something, I swing my head around to see unending nothingness and I prayed it was just phantom noises plaguing me from the eerie silence.

"H-hello?" I call out.

A red message pops up.

[🔴Who in God's name are you calling TO? Better yet, do you actually want to hear something RESPOND!?🔴]

I fondly roll my eyes at the message and go back to futilely looking around.

The person with the red message was none other than NASA engineer, pilot, and general pain in the ass Captain Killjoy. As the fans not so lovingly named her.

She was the general publicly appointed antagonist to my space adventure story, and she seemed proud of it.

"Good day to you too, Carol. How's the wife?"

[🔴Cut the bullshit, Mel, you know she divorced me and took most of my stuff.🔴]

"Only most of it? Damn, she could've squeezed you for more."

[🔴Fuck you. Anyway, I got woken up in a panic in the dead of night to check in on you and help. What hot mess have you gotten yourself into now?🔴]

She was so fast and efficient at typing is was almost annoying. But I'd landed myself in a pickle and I needed her help to get out.

"I woke up this morning to a surprise tsunami, didn't have time to think or eat or even shit when I had to blast the ship up into the atmosphere to get it out of range. BUT I didn't charge it enough so I did a poll and we voted for me to go underwater to stay safe and wait it out since I won't be dragged by the wave due to the water structure on this moon. THEN I realized just a moment ago I didn't have enough oxygen PLUS I stumbled into the water so I have no sense of direction of up from down!!!"

I gasp for air as I finished my long-winded explanation.

[🔴Imma need you to cut back on the hyperventilation, it's not like you have oxygen to spare. I'll need you to be holding your breath in short bursts for the time being. How much air you got left?🔴]

I swipe away the chat to the side and see the bright glowing one-digit number remaining.

"8%"

After a moment of silence, Carol's screen name "Captain Killjoy" pops up as she types a message.

[🔴Well good news, bad news.🔴]

She continued typing without waiting for me to even respond or pick an option.

[🔴Bad news is there is literally nothing I can do to help you. So my sleep was interrupted for nothing. By the time I use any of our satellites to home in on your location and get any kind of useful data, you'll be long dead from suffocation.🔴]

My mouth hangs open and I squint at her words.

"And the good news!?"

[🔴You'll be dead and I'll no longer be bothered by your stupid space shenanigans!🔴]

"Urgh! Someone ban her please!"

I peek a quick glimpse of a fast-typed response before I let my hands fall to my side in defeated frustration again.

[🔴Good luck! I was assigned to you by the federal government! It's against the law for you to silence me because I'm supposed to HELP your dumbass!🔴]

"A lot of helping you seem to be doing right now. No wonder your wife left you" I grumble as I fold my arms with a huff. 

Was I being a bit too mean and harsh?

Yes.

Did Carol deserve it?

Definitely.

But my mother had raised me better than to sink down to the petty levels of those who would try to use words and actions to hurt me.

Be better than them! She'd constantly try to drill into my head.

But unfortunately, I'd gotten my petty side from my father.

Try to be better than them AFTER you swing and throw a punch! That's how you command power and respect! Dad would boisterously say as he took a power stance on the couch.

My mother would then swat him off his chair with a rolled-up newspaper, some folded up laundry, or even a frying pan if she got mad enough. Whatever object was nearest to her that day.

Remembering my parents' loving, and at times violent, relationship calmed my nerves down and slowed down my rapidly beating heart to allow me to hold my breath longer and manage my oxygen supply.

As I still myself completely, I tried to gauge my sense of self.

If gravity worked under Titan's water level, even minutely, I should be able to sense my way up even from a slight pressure or weighted direction in my body towards one angle.

Usually, when you hung upside down, you'd feel the blood go to your head, and other parts of your body would ache.

Even if my head was protected behind the forcefield air bubble, I should still be able to feel things internally.

But the only thing I could feel was a fragile soft thud around the upper left side of my temple.

Was I then perhaps floating on my side?

Or was I feeling the effects of lack of food and too many bursts of adrenaline back-to-back?

In my hazy state of drifting off, the darkness around me slowly creeping into the edge of my vision, I feel a...sensation at the bottom of my shoe.

I quickly look down but sure enough-

Nothing.

Absolute nothingness.

I feel my heartbeat begin to pick up and I look at my wrist to see how much oxygen-

3%

The soft buzz of tears begins to sting my eyes.

This is not how I want things to end.

A million possibilities spring through my head as a way to survive.

Why don't I use my ship tracking device to locate it from my suit?

Why don't I use my emergency raft to float me to the top?

Just swim in any direction and hope for the best?

Do SOMETHING!!!

But all, or at least most, of my questions were met with the same answer.

Things don't work that way under here.

Science doesn't work properly under the water surface of Titan.

Or at least, the science we know.

At least my death would be peaceful.

I can safely finally be the first at something for once in my life.

I was the first human to arrive on Titan, and I can be the first to die here.

At least I can take solace in that.

I vaguely feel another sensation on my leg, but ignore it because it didn't have the oxygen to be bothered.

I feel a vibration on my wrist, glance down, and see a hazy golden glow try and break through the darkness, and I think I might as well read one more guaranteed sweet comment before the sweet embrace of death.

I lift my wrist up and read.

[💛I don't believe today is your day to die.💛]

"What an unbelievably sweet and hopelessly naïve comment." I couldn't help but say out loud.

[🔴Agreed.🔴]

[🔴Hopelessly naive. You're definitely dying today.🔴]

Carol's red font quickly typed.

I stifle my groan in my throat and continue to say.

"Thank you, that is the best thing I could read in my final mome-"

I didn't have enough air to finish the sentence.

I choke and desperately grab at my throat.

My whole body begins to seize up.

And the pressure around my legs grows.

But just then, seemingly out of nowhere.

I broke through the water's surface.