TIME TO GROVEL

"ARE YOU up now, Nikolai-ssi?"

Of course, Nikolai was hurt when Mona addressed him formally.

But he was glad to see his wife check up on him, even though he could tell by the time that her café was supposed to be open by now.

Ah.

[I'm disrupting Mona's business.]

He didn't want to leave yet.

But, as a chaebol himself, he knew better than to disturb other people's business– especially so early in the morning.

[I won't ruin Mona's livelihood no matter how desperate I am.]

"Yeah, I've come to my senses," Nikolai said, standing up from his seat. "Thank you for lending me your office, yeobo."

Mona looked like she had something to say, but she hesitated and glanced at Glenn.

[Ah.]

"Go," Nikolai said when he turned to Glenn. "Just wait for me in the car."

Glenn bowed to Nikolai and Mona before leaving the office quietly, with no questions asked.

[That's what I like about Glenn. He's nosy when he has to be, but he never crosses the line.]

"Nikolai, have your memories returned?"

Oh.

Perhaps Nikolai shouldn't have been surprised.

After all, Mona had always been sharp.

"You're good at keeping a poker face and faking a business smile when you have to," Mona continued while crossing her arms over her chest. "But acting was never your strong suit. Plus, I know you'd rather die than act like a crazy person."

Was that an assessment or a dig?

But, to be fair, he couldn't complain when he knew his wife was right.

"Most of all, you have no reason to pretend like you want me back," Mona said, leaning against the doorframe. "I'm sure your parents wouldn't want me back as their daughter-in-law."

That was sad but true.

"Hence, I'm only left with the conclusion that you've already regained your memories."

"When I lost my memories of you and our precious twins, I was reduced to the teenage Nikolai who was desperate for his parents' love and approval," Nikolai said in a soft voice, clenching his hands tight. "I listened to them and pushed you away. You and Neoma."

It was difficult to talk about the past, but Mona deserved to know the truth.

He may sound like he was making a lame excuse.

It may already be too late to explain.

Even so, he wanted to let his wife hear everything from him.

"It has been five years since you and Neoma were kicked out of the house," he continued, his voice full of pain and remorse. "And during those five years, I've done nothing but send money to Neoma monthly."

Heck, it wasn't even him.

Glenn was in charge of sending financial support to Neoma.

He knew that the money sent to his daughter monthly was a huge amount, but he didn't know how much exactly it was because he never cared.

"I'm sorry, Mona," Nikolai said in a voice full of sincerity. "I'm sorry for being a horrible husband to you, and a scumbag father to Neoma."

Mona didn't say anything, but her eyes were brimming with tears. But instead of making her look vulnerable, her tears actually made her look intimidating.

His wife was angry and hurt, and she had all the right to feel that way.

"I know saying sorry wouldn't magically erase the pain and damage I've caused you and our daughter," he said, his voice cracking as a lump formed in his throat. "Even so, when I regained my memories, all I could think about was to grovel in front of you and beg for your forgiveness. I know I'm being selfish. You don't have to forgive me, but I'm hoping you would." He smiled sadly at his wife. "After all, I want us to be a family again, Mona. You, me, Neoma, and Nero."

There, he said it.

To be honest, he hadn't said everything he wanted to say yet.

But he was afraid that Mona might get overwhelmed, so he only said the most important things that he wanted his wife to know.

That he was sorry.

That he wanted to be forgiven.

And that he wanted to be a family with Mona again.

"The past five years haven't been kind to me and Neoma," Mona said in a cracked voice. "Nikolai-ssi, I'm genuinely glad that you've regained your memories. That you finally remember our daughter. I also appreciate the fact that you've apologized and recognized your mistakes as soon as you remembered everything. However, I don't think I'm ready to think about forgiving you yet. My mind is still a mess."

That was understandable.

He was already grateful that Mona was talking to him as sensibly as she could despite the current state of her emotions.

"My mind understands your situation, Nikolai-ssi," Mona said, her voice tinted with a hint of bitterness. "But my heart still remembers what Neoma had to go through while growing up without a father. Moreover, my hatred for your parents makes it hard for me to empathize with you. I will never forgive my in-laws for mistreating my daughter in the past."

Ah.

Hearing that from Mona broke Nikolai's heart.

After all, he let his parents mistreat his wife and daughter after he woke up from his coma.

Mona and Neoma had to suffer for a year before the two were eventually kicked out.

And he just watched everything happen from the sidelines.

[Having amnesia isn't an excuse. Even without my memories, I should have protected my wife and my children from my parents. I should have taken time to get to know Mona and the twins instead of pushing them away just because my parents told me to do so.]

Perhaps, if Nikolai decided to trust Mona back then, his memories may have returned sooner.

His wife had all the right to resent him.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this right now, Nikolai-ssi," Mona said while wiping the tears off of her face with her hands. "Please leave."

"I understand– I'll leave for now," Nikolai said, holding back his own tears. "But I will come back, yeobo."

***

"PRESIDENT, the Chairman called and asked if you have already filed for divorce…"

Nikolai heard Glenn, but he didn't move.

He remained still in the backseat of the car, his eyes shut tight.

"Should we head back to the company, President?"

"No," Nikolai said, opening his eyes. "Go to my parents' house."

"Alright, President."

"And I want you to check on Neoma."

He didn't get the chance to ask Mona about their daughter because he didn't want to further overwhelm his wife.

But he was curious about Neoma's life.

[My daughter is already sixteen years old around this time. Is she already an idol trainee?]

"But don't dig up too much information," Nikolai said to Glenn. "I just want a gist of how my daughter has been living for the past five years."

"Noted, President," Glenn said, then he paused before speaking in a more comfortable manner. "Nikolai, please tell me what's going on with you once you're ready. I'm your friend, and I also care about your family."

He knew that.

Glenn had never stopped reminding him to at least be involved in Neoma's life as a father.

[It was my stupid past self who ignored all of Glenn's reminders.]

"I will," Nikolai promised Glenn, then he closed his eyes again. "I just hope this isn't really a dream."

***

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