Shrine Of The DEAD Part 2

And not just them either. He still remembered the deep satisfaction he got when he had shot that one guy who had threatened him and tried to abduct Rei. The psychotic bastard had really had it coming, and it put a smile on Takashi's face to know that he had put him out of commission and left him for Them to prey upon. Not to mention all the other things they had to do to survive.

As twisted as it was, he actually found himself liking this new lawless world. While it was true that he and the others were seeking a safe place where they would no longer be in danger, that didn't take away how much he was loving getting there, or the gratitude of knowing that even once they did, they would still need to go out into this world of the dead where he would be able to enjoy himself some more. So if something was wrong with Saeko, then she wasn't alone, because there was something wrong with him as well.

"But…" he said almost aggressively, hesitating for only a brief moment, "ever since this has happened, I felt that way too!"

As he admitted it, his mind jumped to the different events of the outbreak. Bashing open a zombie's head, shooting a man and leaving him for dead, sniping down a hoard of Them as they were boxed in. He'd slowly gone from being horrified to what he did, to feeling indifferent, to having a smile on his face. Because yes, he did enjoy this. No, he loved it. So what did it matter if Saeko got the same enjoyment out of it? They were the same in his eyes.

He had meant for his words to comfort Saeko, but he saw right away that that wasn't the case. She instead gave him a sympathetic smile, her expression resigned and her eyes full of pity at what he said.

"You became that way after this happened," she told him, almost as if she felt sorry that he had ended up this way. "But I was like that before."

His heart went out to her. He understood what she was saying. She was telling him that he had become what he had out of necessity. But in the civilized world, such actions would be viewed as problematic, if not evil. And since she was basically admitting to having always been this way, she must view herself as evil as well.

"Don't say that," he insisted.

If he knew one thing about Saeko, it's that she wasn't evil. She was kind and considerate. She was caring and compassionate. Yes, she carried around a darkness inside her, but that didn't make her evil. The fact that she was trying so hard to reject and hide that part of herself was proof of that. Someone who was truly evil wouldn't care enough to keep that part of themselves in check. There were some real psychos in the world, ones who would go out and commit horrible crimes if they thought they could get away with it, and some who didn't even care if they got caught. Those people were evil. But Saeko was trying so hard to keep her darkness at bay.

And perhaps she was wrong about herself. From what she was saying, he got the impression that she thought there was always something wrong with her and she just hadn't noticed it until the day she was attacked. But maybe that was the case for many people. Maybe that was even the case for him. Rules and civilization had kept him in check, and it wasn't until the outbreak had forced him to step into the darkness that he found that he enjoyed that part of himself once it was let out, and it just so happened to correspond with what was necessary to survive in this new world.

Perhaps for Saeko, she had just had her awakening and realization earlier when she was attacked. Perhaps that was the case for many people in this world. He saw signs of this in his friends too when the dead attacked. They were good people too, but they also seemed to enjoy taking Them down, at least to an extent. Maybe much of humanity had this hidden dark side that they tried to maintain control of, and it simply required an extreme situation to awaken that darkness or make them acknowledge it. And when it came out, as this new world often required it to, they couldn't help but enjoy it. Takashi certainly did.