9

"Lilian," He sighed, "It's too dangerous to send our people out there."

"I disagree," I narrowed my eyes at him, "I think it's required. If everyone here doesn't learn to fight at least a little then they're dead weight when another monster attack happens. A little dead weight is fine, but in a situation like this the less dead weight there is the better off we are. I don't think this new chaotic world is going to let us sit here, and learn at our own pace. The more of us who have the strength to fight the longer the group as a whole will survive." I paused, "Call me a pessimist, but every single awakened has the same survival calculator that I do. If your number is anything less then seventy-five percent then you should be doing everything in your power to increase that percentage."

The crowd launched into discussion. Most of them were fearfully discussing the deaths of the people who'd been guarding the walls the night before. They needed another push. 

"The only way that we're going to get stronger is by fighting," My voice carried, and everyone went quiet, "We can't just sit back anymore, and expect the world to fix itself while we hide like the last time. The world is going to come to us whether we want it or not. The way I see it I'd rather meet it head on, and get stronger or die in the process then sit here, and die when the world comes to me, and I'm unprepared."

"Why do you want to go out there so bad?" Someone asked. 

I didn't see who, and I considered how to answer for only a split second. 

"My current chance of survival is only twelve percent," I decided to mix truth with lies, "My awakened class is berserker, and while that does give me incredibly high immunity to mental attacks it also makes leveling my main class impossible while I'm in these walls. For me letting loose is literally dangerous for those around me." This part was actually true due to the bloodlust I'd been feeling lately, "And if you hadn't noticed," I pointed outside, "Most of our skills don't really level up unless there's combat involved." 

That was the push they needed. It also kind of explained to boss man why he couldn't control me. That simple statement had put a false idea in his head. One that would come back to bite him in the ass later, but he could think what he wanted. I would let him have the wrong impression until it was time for me to leave. 

I could smirk about the understanding dawning on his face later. I internally complimented myself for my moment of clever brilliance, and left the room after that. I was incredibly tired. I'd only gotten a little over an hour of sleep in the last day so it made sense that I was tired. I hadn't gotten my exercises done like I wanted to, but doing them right now was out of the question. 

I was already way to sore to exercise. I couldn't handle it right now. I flopped onto my cot. Johnny, and Sam were both asleep in their own cots. They appeared to have fallen asleep a while ago. 

It had been dark out for a while so that was to be expected. I pulled Sam's blanket up so it was covering him again as he sprawled partially off the skinny cot. He'd been a messy sleeper lately. Sometimes having nightmares. Fine the rest of the time. 

He couldn't escape his fears even in his sleep. He wasn't the only one. Johnny's cot was pushed up against Sam's, and him clinging to his little brother's arm was probably the only reason Sam hadn't fallen off the cot yet. The two of them shared a big, but thin blanket. It probably didn't offer much warmth, but it was summer so they didn't need much warmth. 

I knew I was just latching onto them because I was in the habit of latching onto things that needed protecting. I knew it was from that damaged mindset I'd had for so long. Well maybe it had started as that. I had pulled away from a lot of my old habits. It was hard to believe that it had only been a little over two weeks since all of this had started. 

I glanced at my phone. The eighteenth. Three weeks was only a few short days away. That meant the month was going to end soon. The free healing, and parting out was about to go away. 

I didn't have enough time to play it safe anymore. I needed the butchering skill more then the healing anyway. It should be fairly easy to get myself back to avoiding injury like I did before. I closed my eyes, and drifted into a dreamless sleep. Kind of glad that I didn't need to confront any of my past emotions yet. 

Just like before I woke up after a blissful five hours. I think that was what weirded me out the most. I'd always been an eight to ten hour girl. Heaven help you if you woke me up before I slept six. It made all of it hit home when something that was such an integral part of my being shifted so obviously. 

I sighed, and rolled out of the cot. I wasn't tired anymore. It was time to get up, and I had exercise to do. I was still stiff, and wounded since it wasn't seven yet, but waking up before it was light out had some advantages. No one would notice me working out like a madwoman. 

I went back to the alley, and set to work right away. I went straight to one handed with weights on my back. Pushing myself to the very maximum I could handle right from the start. With the seven o'clock healing coming in less then an hour there was no reason for me to hold back. I planned to go do the rabbits once I was healed.