Childhood Period: I am here part 3

POV Ritzuko

-*sigh* "It's twelve o'clock again."

I press the elevator button and let my body lean against the wall, holding the briefcase in my left hand and a white plastic bag in my right.

- "I hope you like what I prepared, but I wonder if I cooked the rice right."

~Ring~

Jumping up, I straighten my back again as the elevator doors open.

- "Stay calm, Ritzuko. None of them know you live here...."

- "You must take care of your children, you must go ahead of them, you can."

Walking through the halls, I finally arrive at my apartment with the plaque 'Kirijima' in front of the mailbox.

- "Kirijima, uh..."

- "It feels so lonely that last name now..."

- "Even if no one else helps, I have to get through this."

Entering through the front door, I toss my heels to the side of the door frame.

-Welcome, mom.

Turning toward the voice, I see a short boy wearing his pyjamas.

-I'm... back...

-The bath will take a while to run, mom. Do you want me to heat up some rice for dinner?

Trying to smile, I raise the white bag in front of my son.

- "Damn, I must look with my dark circles under my eyes now." I brought some onigiri.

-Perfect, come on in while I take care of this.

Holding my bag in both of his hands, the boy starts to enter the house.

- The water won't take long to heat up, okay?

Seeing the child leave before speaking, I shake my head a bit.

-"I must react better; the insurance will fall asleep. Now, I must talk to him on Saturday."

******************************************************************

-"That lady was right, this guide is interesting".

Turning the page the vivid colors of the animals showed their description.

-"I must distract my mind a little to talk again, I'm a man so I shouldn't cry in front of a woman".

-Kai-chan are you still awake?

Turning to look at me, my mother was standing there with a very long shirt and a towel wrapped in her hair, her dark circles could be seen under her wide eyes looking at me.

- "It must be a heavy week for her the company she's with doesn't give her breaks plus preparing the food for us must be stressful dealing with the media as well because of the news...."

-Sure

-You shouldn't entertain yourself too much if tomorrow at school?

-Mom, is Saturday

Turning to the calendar behind her, she slapped her palm to her forehead.

-Right...

-Today Maki-chan and I will rest, but what about your work?

-I'm free this Saturday.

Taking off the towel from his head, he went to the armchair to sit down while he put the towel on the table.

-Well, if you're awake I guess you want to ask me a favor?

-You got it right

Clasping her hands together she approached me with a sideways smile.

-Well, it's unusual for you to ask for something if it's in my power I can help you son.

-I want you to rest, Mom.

With my two small hands I catch my mother's hands.

-"She's still bigger than me even though her skin is thinner now." You've worked so hard for everyone.

-K..kai-chan?

-Even though it's been a week I must say it mom....

My mother opened her eyes wide without being able to separate her hands from my grip.

-"DON'T CRY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T CRY, TELL HIM WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR."

-I miss dad, maybe Maki-chan, Kizuna,I liked him but you loved him?

-¿?

Taking a breath of air I looked into my mother's eyes.

-You had moments that I have no idea and I can't imagine that you shared with him and for that you wish there were more moments like that, don't you?

-That's right...

-They had a lot of things to live with us, I wanted him to take me to my first day of school, to know that you were there like with Kizuna, to go more to grandma's house, to be able to go to train more with her, but that's over....

My mother lowered her shoulders and her gaze when she heard my words.

-Yes...

- "All adults feel that way hee..." I don't care what they say about you outside and you're not like that either you don't have to put up with it all by yourself.

-Eh..?

When I raised my head I hugged his neck and put my face on his shoulders.

-Your children are also trustworthy, you don't have to put up with it even Nee-san must already know that we don't pretend anything.

-.....is

Responding to my embrace, he wrapped one arm around my body.

-If you think now that I'm not normal it's okay... 

-...but that...is ....

-So I'll say it, it doesn't make me sad but it means I can do things that are not normal for my age.

-.....

-Taking care of Maki-chan I can share that responsibility with everyone, wake her up, do basic cleaning, even if it's using the rice cooker I can do it.

-....

-Why in the end who do we have if we don't trust each other mother?

Feeling my mother's head nod I clear my throat.

-You should take better care of your time, but we can take care of each other.

-You...shouldn't...think...so...so much effort for a...child you shouldn't go through this.

-No one deserves to go through this, knowing that you can't talk to someone like dad was makes me sad but it's more painful not being able to tell anyone about it.

Feeling the warmth of her face my mother's voice sounds more broken as she speaks to me.

-Why do you do it?

-That's obvious because I'm here with you and you're here with me.

-!!Huh¡¡

Tears spilling down my mother's face accompanied by a sob with the strongest hug I have ever felt in my life followed after those words.

- "A man must be strong in these situations I must be serene then I can unburden myself."

...

My mother with puffy eyes was handing me a white box with a letter on it. 

-"I guess he had a lot in storage and you can tell he has more" What is this?

-The reason we were shopping with your father is because this is for you I think you need to calm down and not force yourself the same way Kai-chan.

-Me? I'm fine, I've cried enough already.

Opening the box there was a big blue t-shirt when I opened the letter it was written in another language.

-This is French 

-Yes, I wanted to play a joke on you can you read it, I think I need to laugh at your latest prank.

-Yes, Bien sûr, Madame (of course, my lady).

Clearing my throat I read out loud for my mother to hear

-Merry Christmas son, this gift is for you but it's also for me....

Re-reading the paragraph my mother looked just as confused as I was.

-....I wrote this note so that neither your mother nor your sisters know my proposal to you, I want you to know first, I love you all equally but I want a deal only with you.....

Seeing my mother she beckons me to keep reading.

-.... of all the things that are axes because of me you are the most abnormal and the one I like the most that exists, you may be shy but you know you can laugh at me so I leave you this tool so that when I grow up you will remind me that even I behave like a girl sometimes, I give you this t-shirt so you can have your first date with Saeko-chan and believe it or not saying the following sentence will give me a headache for years....

Holding the sheet tightly my mother stands next to me.

-.... Why do you have to aspire to be like me if you can be better than me? ..... Atte: your father PS: if you let Ritzuko and your sisters find out I wrote this at your wedding I will crow the wedding march like a rooster.....

My mother hugged me silently as I felt how hot my face was, my chest and my feet wouldn't stop shaking as I closed my eyes tightly, my voice barely sounded in the room.

- "You know you shouldn't do it get a hold of yourself" typical of him.....

-It's ok Kai-chan, you can do it too....

- "It's not like that..."jejejejeje... !Ghua.....guuu....hu...¡

From one moment to the next I could not control myself with the amount of tears that came out of my eyes as my small hands embraced my mother who was crying.