# chapter one
Unlike every other men who openly flirted with me all night, there was only one man, clad in a grey suit while his silky dark hair glowed into my eyes. And as eerie as he seemed, the way he stalked me, the way he watched my every move while his eyes devoured every part of my body. You can call me crazy but I found it to be fascinating.
" Mrs. Greyson" " Mrs. Greyson"
I averted my eyes from the stalker. A man whom one would consider big stood in front of me with a smile stretched out of his tiny lips, he was Mr. Smith, I had managed to learn his name because he seemed to be everywhere in the gallery while he paraded with his wife beside him all night, there was something unpleasant in her thin smile as she stared at me without saying a word, as if she had been programmed not to, but I didn't dwell much on it.
"what a spectacular piece you have there Mrs. Greyson " Mr. Smith said. His eyes ogled at my open cleavage before traveling down my curves, even while I was clad inside my fine blue dress, he still made me feel like I was naked.
" Thank you" I said. A flat smile plastered on my face as he took my delicate hands into his big ones.
He held on to my hand a little longer than normal, his eyes flirtatiously stayed glued to mine. I could see his wife glared harder at me from the corner of my eyes.
" I hope to see more of your work sometime in the future Mrs. Greyson " he said.
"of course Mr. Smith, of course" I said.
I forced my hand out of his firm grip, flashed a false smile at him and hurried away.
The interior of the art gallery was fascinating and catchy, the walls were white, florescence illuminated every corner of the large hall, different painting from different artists who had been lucky enough to have had their paintings hanged on the walls, I had received an email a week ago, I guess a picture of my painting had somehow gotten out their, they had took a liking to it and had wanted me to present a perfect heart gripping piece that held emotions at an art gallery being launched for a huge sum of money.
Events like this where you get to showcase your talent to wealthy people who are interested in art was rare to come by. I heard a billionaire had set this whole thing up, Kade Hendrix, if he paid for all this paintings the amount I had been offered then he was hell rich.
I took a left turn at a corner in the hall, my eyes searched for a particular figure in grey suit, shiny black hair, broad shoulders and trimmed waist. He was nowhere at sight, I heaved a sigh, disappointed.
I continued my walk over to where my painting had been hung and there it was, a piece I had never thought I would make public but here it was after all.
I released a cracked breath——I didn't even realise I was holding——from my lungs as I looked sternly at the painting hanging on the bright white wall in front of me, as if I was only seeing it for the first time, as if it wasn't I who had painted this piece and brought it out here on display so everyone could feast their eyes on my darkest memories.
My gaze tightened each second my eyes catched every single detail in the piece, two girls, one holding out her hand, trying to reach out to the other who was walking away, drifting away. A noxious feeling washed down the whole of me like a thousand downfall cutting through my flesh and sinking me deep into a wave of eternal despair.
It had been five years and I still made a painting just like this one, sorrowful, full of guilt and longing. A piece of that night when my tiny hands had held Shirley with my body pressed on to hers so tight that I hoped she would melt into my body and we would become one, and I would carry at least half of the burden and pain she had endured her whole life. We would share the pain together and she would not have to suffer it all by herself.
" Hey Ada..." Shirley had called. Her bright blue eyes staring calm yet tiredly into my copper ones. I was nothing like her, not even close, she had always been the witty one, always so fierce, always so full of hope, I was the opposite of her, scared, emotional and there I was, in the hospital, in her sick bed, alone with her.
Our parents had been divorced for over a year, while our father had suddenly disappeared from the surface of the earth, our mother? Well she... she just didn't give a shit about her daughters. She was always on one trip or another, saying she had to bring food to the table or we'd starve. And yet we still starved, we only got to see her like twice a year, Well it didn't matter anymore, we had both strived to survive even without her. Shirley had had to drop out of college so she could work full time at a convenience store to take care of us both. There I was, my darling sister, my hero, her eyes once full of hope looked wryly at a seven years old me, waiting for me to respond to her call that probably would be the last.
---
I fought back the tears that had threatened to pour, my damp eyes glittered into hers.
" yes" I answered, my voice had turned husky, betraying me while I still tried to pretend to be strong.
I swallowed back whatever cry was threatening to elope my dry lungs, I needed to be brave, or at least pretended that I could be. I needed to be hopeful, maybe, just maybe a miracle would happen, but I knew it wouldn't, not when her time was almost up and the doctors to whom I had put my trust and hopes on could do nothing about it, I swallowed again, I knew she was going, drifting away from this world, away from me, and there was nothing I could do.
I blinked back tears at her words of encouragement, at how she had told me I was strong even though I didn't believe her, she was my strength, she was all I had got.
" I love you my little princess" she had said.
I watched her eyes shut, her hands that were once resting on my feeble ones in reassurance had become heavy, and the whole world has went all chaos in front of me.
---
The rapid sound of the support machine going flat had poisoned my ears into decay, suddenly the world became silent, yet the sound from the machine lingered. A moment passed and I could suddenly hear the fuddle voices of doctors trudging into the room, the sound of their heels evident as they raced in, a warm hand on my shoulder urged me to exit the room.
" three, two, one" I heard faintly as I walked out.
" three, two, one"
But it was all too late, all too late.
I wiped a tear and shifted a strand from my face to the back of my ear, not now, not ever, I remembered I had made a silent promise to Shirley, I wouldn't cry no matter what, my tears ended that night, outside the room, when my tiny legs lifted my frayed body to peep through the glass pane on the door as I watched the doctors cover her body. It ended that night when I had bursted into tears, I had wailed and wailed until there was nothing left of me to cry about. It ended that night when I had caught the length of her ember hair before it had disappeared under the cover.
I wiped more tears off my face and sniffed back my runny nose. Not here! Not here! I tried to get myself to stop the tears but I couldn't. I couldn't handle it, the more I stayed back the more embarrassing it would be for me. So I left.
---
As I twirled around to flee , my forehead jabbed with a force onto a hard surface, my right heel clanked wildly on the tiled floor, the force twitched my ankle, I almost let out a Yelp as I found myself sinking sideways to the ground, abruptly, a hand griped me by my waist, steadying me. My forehead still stayed inclined to the surface I had hit, a sharp yet subtle fragrance hit my nose, minty, coal... Manly.
It was manly, and irresistible, and fierce, and I knew I shouldn't look, I knew the right thing I should have done next was apologize and run and not let him see how embarrassed I looked from the traces of tears and mucous that had ran down my face, but I looked anyway, I realised it was him, my stalker. He was beautiful in every way, even as my tears blurred my vision I could see his hazel eyes as it burned down to mine, and the way he looked at me, like I was crazy but yet he held on to me, a crazy woman he stalked from afar, a crazy woman who now stumbled upon him.
I pushed myself from against his chest, realisation and guilt striked my thoughts, this wasn't right, I was not supposed to have looked at him that way, or let him stare at me that way, with lust, I should have pulled away immediately.
---
I muttered a quaky apology and stumbled out of the hall, as I stood under the serene moonlight with the cool night breeze hitting my face like a wave, I burst into tears, this time it erupted like a bomb that had been ticking and waiting for the push button. I pulled out my phone from my purse, dialled Raymond's number, it rang and dropped, _no answer_ I dialled again and he still didn't pick up.
Anger welled up in me, I didn't even know why I was pissed off, or why I couldn't just stop crying but I wanted so badly for my heart to stop tightening, and my jaws to stop clutching, and my fist to stop clenching, I wanted so badly to paint, it was my only escape route, the only thing I could do whenever I wanted to clear my head, or whenever I was upset, now I looked around and I was met with the coldness from the late California night, there was a store from across of where I stood, if I could just manage to get some supplies, a few colours and brushes then I'd be good, as I made to take a step, my phone began to buzz, I felt the tightening on my chest began to subside, maybe I didn't need to paint after all.
I stared at my screen as the alarm on my phone buzzed, I had set an alarm to remind myself of when to leave the gallery since I had ordered a cab which would pull ten minutes from now. Disappointment washed over me, I had hoped Raymond would call back, I had hoped he was the one calling when my phone had buzzed from the alarm, but somehow I felt a little at ease once again and I stood, all alone while I waited for my cab.
-********
I sat in the back sit of the cab, Jennifer Lopez's Marry me played from the speaker, I nod my head to it's beat while I synced to the song inside my head, my right finger twirled my engagement ring, a smile creaked on my lips and I pulled out my phone to text Raymond.
---
---" hey babe, you didn't pick up your phone when I called, I'm coming over, it was supposed to be a surprise but I got worried when you didn't pick up, I love you, see you soon (heart emoji)"
I tapped the send button and slid my phone back into my purse, another smile evident on my lips, I chuckled, anticipation swelled in my guts, since we sort of had a long distant relationship, Ray being in California and I being in Maine, we barely saw each other, I wanted to pay him a surprise visit since I was in town. I wanted so badly to meet him, to kiss his broad lips, I anticipated his hands all over my curly hair, and I released another chuckle, this time it came out louder, I could see the driver looked at me from the rear mirror, his lips parted as if he was about to say something.
I pulled out my ear pod and slid it into my ears to avoid any conversations or rather, any questions from him.
I muttered a " thank you" to the cab driver before closing the door and watched him drive away.
A firm sigh escaped my lungs as I stood in front of Ray's apartment, light escalated from the front porch all the way to his room upstairs, I assumed he was still awake, working, oh how hard working my big Teddy bear could be, I smiled and walked over to his porch, tapped a light knock on the door and waited. No reply, I made to knock again for the second time, but immediately my hand landed on the door, it cracked open. Alarm blared in my head, Ray was never this careless, he wouldn't leave his door open so strangers could be able to just walk in, as I thought about it, it hit me that maybe he had been bugged, and rubbed and oh my God, is he safe?
I stumbled in while I tried to brace myself up for when things got messy, but the living room was calm, the furnitures were intact, his China wears on the tiny cabinet were intact, everything seemed just the way I had known it to be.
I creased my brows, uncertainty flushed over me, I walked up the stairs and immediately I was at the landing, there was soft music oozing out of his room, strange. I moved closer to his door while I ventured to knock, but something in me disagreed and I pushed the door open.
My heart began to race, my head throbbed as if a thousand dumbbell had been dropped over me, I watched in despair, my man, my fiance atop another woman besides me, his ass squeezed with every thrush he made, his soft moan which I had thought only I was lucky enough to hear now mixed with her soft ones as it echoed into every wall in the room that even the music could not conceal. Tears slid down my cheeks, it hurts, it hurts so much that I began to shiver, every bit of anger I had felt earlier outside the gallery thundered back into my blood stream, my legs wobbled and a shriek escaped my lungs, immediately, they despatched from each other,. I watched as the pleasure disappeared from his eyes the moment they landed on me.
"Ada..." He called. His voice shaky as he tried to crawl off the bed.
"