Luna. His mother?

After the last word which came out like a whisper, my head rested against Emiliano’s shoulder. I was drifting gradually to sleep. My eyes closed, and my mind went blank as I dozed off.

~Emiliano~

I stared at the sleeping Ginevra. I didn’t want to disturb the sleeping baby by waking her up to go to bed. I simply stared at her. I wished she never leaves. After so many months, I finally found someone to relate freely to. Sienna. How can I forget? Sienna was a vivacious idol. Her beauty radiates. Her smile always captured my heart, making me wish never to lose sight of her. I vividly remembered that night we argued. She was deeply furious with me. I never knew a minor case could leave a scar on me for so long. Why didn’t I stop her that night? I was upset from an outing with my friends I could remember. I stayed out late, yet she waited for me.

***

It was Valentine’s night. She wanted us to spend time together alone. What would I have done when my old college pals visited me in the office? We wanted to catch up on old memories. How fast our lives have changed. We went out to a bar, to drink, chat, and enjoy ourselves. Minutes into that, my friends' girlfriends came along. I felt awkward.

“Excuse us, dude,” my friends said.

They left with their girlfriends to God knows where. I waited for them. They were my best friends, so I probably thought they would be mad if I leave when they told me they were coming. I was constantly checking my wristwatch to make up time for Sienna. I continued waiting endlessly and stupidly, but my so-called friends never showed up again. They never took their calls. Did they ditch me? Obviously. I gulped down the remaining vodka in my glass and stood up to leave. After entering my car, I saw my phone. I thought Sienna never called, that was why I didn’t hear my phone ring. Thirty-five missed calls from Sienna wasn’t a joke.

“Shit!” I muffled to myself.

I tried calling her back, but she rejected my calls. The more I dialed, the more she rejected my calls. I had to zoom off at a speed beyond normal, but little did I know that the longest Valentine’s traffic jam was going to hit me. No turning back, no moving forward, I was just stuck between other vehicles. Sienna wasn’t replying to my messages either. I knew she must be boiling with anger. Just when I thought I was going to sleep on the road, the traffic lifted.

“Thank God,” I sighed in relief.

When I finally reached home, I alighted from my car and ran inside. I halted at the entrance. I was faced with a beautiful surprise. Sienna had decorated the living room with balloons, streamers, lit candles, red rose petals, and a happy Valentine's message boldly written on a banner placed on the wall. Her effort was in vain. It was past midnight already. Valentine has passed. I shuffled closer to her. She was seated on the floor in the living room, drinking herself in a stupor. What should I say? What can I say? I crouched to her level and tried to touch her on the shoulder.

“D…don’t, don’t touch me!” she said with a raised palm. She sniffed and staggered up. She looked pale with red, aching eyes. She must have been crying all the while.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

Sorry? Our first Valentine was ruined, all thanks to me. I knew how much she vouched for Valentine. She cherished Valentine’s Day for all there is to it. We met on Valentine’s Day, we had our first kiss at the last minute before twelve. That was how we fell in love. It was a Valentine’s party with only the two of us as singles. We mingled and fell in love. Now we were supposed to celebrate our first full Valentine’s Day together as lovers and I managed to ruin it. And to think that she made all the arrangements for us to have a wonderful moment and I sabotaged it made her crazy.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

“Don’t say a word to me!” she snapped out, pointing a finger at me. “I won’t forgive you for ruining my moment,” she cried. “You should have told me you won’t make it, I wouldn’t have indulged in a “best lovers day game” with my friends. They have all sent their moment videos. I was left out because of you. I see their questions of where my lover is as a mockery,” she poured out in tears.

I could say nothing. She had many plans, I simply sabotaged everything. She headed towards the door.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

She snubbed me and left. I thought she was simply going to cool off outside. When angry, she always loves to be alone, to clear her mind before listening to an apology. I thought I was going to see her outside after a while. I never knew that would be the last time I set my eyes on her. She was nowhere around the compound, not taking her calls. To a point, her phone got switched off. Why would she abandon her own home because of me? Her friends never saw her either. When I alerted the police, she was reported missing, but nothing came up. No one ever saw her. I didn’t know how that happened. The only treasure I got of her was her precious emerald amulet. She must have pulled it off her neck while crying. I found it on the floor where she was seated.

***

“I won’t let you leave me,” I said to the sleeping Ginevra. She snuggled closer to me. I smiled. I carried her up in my arms and headed upstairs with Phoenix trailing behind us.

~Ginevra~

The next day, I sat with Emiliano under the gazebo. Phoenix was playing with a ball in the compound. Such a smart little pet. I was looking at Phoenix while Emiliano’s gaze was fixated on me. If I turn, our eyes will meet. I refused to turn. I simply watched Phoenix.

“Aren’t you going to continue your story?” he asked me.

Now I got to look at him. I took a sip of my apple juice. I stared at him.

“Why don’t you tell me about the journal?” I said. Maybe he was going to smash the table this time. I was waiting for him to get furious again, but he didn’t.

He took a sip of his red wine. “What do you want to know about the journal?” he asked calmly.

I want to know lots of things. Lots of questions popped up in my head and I desperately wanted to quench my curiosity. If Emiliano knows Luna, then something will go wrong.

“Why was Luna in your journal?” I asked. That was my major concern anyway.

“Luna was my mother,” he said. My jaw dropped. My glass of juice hung suspended in my hand. Confusion clustered on my face. How can Luna be his mother? “Luna was the name of my mother,” he cleared my confusion. Now I sipped my drink.

“You wish she reincarnated for your sake. Right?” I stated. That was how I wanted Luna to be back for me too. I wanted her to reincarnate just for my sake. They are no cloud around my life that can ever take away the special presence of Luna. I still missed her and I’m still hoping she returns for my sake. It might take long, and I’m ready to wait.

“Each passing day, I will wake up with a feeling that my mom will be right beside me. I wished she was there to defend me from all the bullies I met on the street. “Where is your mother, huh?” “Can you beat us?” “Who is going to defend you?” they will all yell at me. A four-year-old boy who barely knows anything, abandoned on the walkway by his mother, who continued waiting even when it was pouring rain,” he explained then chuckled.

I could see his eyes glowing to tear up while he tried to control it. I’m yet to digest the story. He had told me his parents died. Now he’s saying his mother abandoned him on a walkway.

“But you said your…”

“Yeah, I know,” he interrupted me. “I had to shorten the story.”

“Your parents never died?”

“Well, my mom told me my dad died when I was just six months old. Maybe she was tired of taking care of me then she abandoned me, who knows,” he said. “That night. “Baby, sit here, okay? Let me go get you chocolate candy,” she said to me. As she walked, turning a few times to look at me, I saw tears in her eyes. “I love you, baby,” she told me from a distance. I sat there on the street bench waiting for my mother to return. I waited forever, she never showed up again. Despite the years that passed, I still wish she returned, probably to explain to me why she abandoned me the way she did,” he expounded.

I felt his pain. I knew exactly how it feels to lose someone you cherished so much. From my parents to Luna, I knew how it feels to be utterly alone. No one to care for you, no one to ask you how your night was. You simply woke up to discover you are utterly alone.

“What then was the journal saying?” I queried. That part still gets me puzzled.

He chuckled. “A few years back, I learned journaling brings our thoughts and wishes to life. I tried bringing my mother back to reality with journaling. As you see it, it never worked. I have filled all five journals with one wish, which was for my mother to return. I hate seeing those journals, yet I couldn’t burn them,” he stated.

Thank God it had nothing to do with Luna. “Accept my sympathy, okay?” I said.

He smiled, sipped his drink, and stared at me. “Many left, Ginevra, you shouldn’t join them,” he set forth.

From that moment, I knew I meant something to him. My company might be special to him. His presence helps me a lot too. I got someone to talk to, someone to share my story with, someone that shows concern for how I feel and regards every piece of my past. Talking to myself hasn’t been an easy task for the past few months.

“What if I decide to leave?” I asked.

“Do you honestly wish to go?”

“If you hurt yourself anymore, I might decide to go,” I declared.

He smiled. I don’t know why the injury on his hand hurt me. Seeing him furious the last time got me worried. I almost hated myself for causing his anger.

“If that will make you stay, I won’t hurt myself. But what if I hurt you? Won’t you leave then?” he questioned.

I became silent. Was he going to hurt me? What would he do to me? I sipped my drink once more. I can’t bear any man hurting me again, not after that…I don’t wish to recall. It breaks every bone in me.

“Um, I will think about it,” I said simply and he smiled.

We spent the rest of the moment chatting, cracking jokes, relating childhood funny moments, and laughing heartily.

I and my strange friend are getting along smoothly. He makes me forget my sorrows, the pain of never wishing to be alive was spoiled by this man. Now I wish not to miss a moment to be alive and see him. He was slowly capturing my heart even though I wish not to fall in love at this point in my life. He offered me everything. Not once was I allowed to desire anything without being given. He cares about me like, perchance, a brother would. If I had a brother, would he have treated me with so much love and concern? Would he have been overprotective like Luna? What was life like to have a brother? Not until I met Emiliano, I never knew good men existed. It seems my outside life with men was the worst experience for someone like me. Why would Emiliano care for me without wanting anything in return? Yeah, we had shared a few seconds kiss before, but then he has been careful or rather, we have been careful. I could seduce him if morality fails me. He was such a charm and it would need the highest level of self-restraint not to fall for him at first sight. He simply takes care of everything. I couldn’t believe how a man could cook so well. His meals attracted me as much as his sight does. Now another meal was set right in front of me, shimmering-like spaghetti Bolognese. I would eat without table manners. His gaze wouldn’t teach me manners, too. It only taught me how to get drawn from the world of morality to a lustful one.