Ch. 6 - Twinkies

I clenched the schedule a little too tightly as the words rolled off the lead singer's tongue. They were Bad Reference, the same band that had played the first night Jamie had seen me. Yes, I'm talking about the night he witnessed me crying over one of their songs, and they were performing that same song again.

I could feel Jamie's eyes on me as they played and squeezing the itinerary was the best I could do to prevent the warm tears that had filled my eyes from falling.

Their next two songs were new ones or at least ones they hadn't performed at Noir's before, but they were equally as beautiful as the first.

"You really like that band, huh?" Jamie asked once they'd gone off stage for a break.

I cleared my throat and took a quick, deep inhale before answering. "They're amazing. An immaculate ensemble of everything perfect; the synchronisation of the instruments," I began, sticking my thumb out as I started my countdown. "The voice of the lead and backup singers, the song lyrics. I mean how can all of their songs manage to capture each of the feelings that I go through on a day-to-day basis so precisely." I let out a shallow breath on my conclusion.

"Wow," he said with a small chuckle. "I was expecting a simple yes, but you're practically a fangirl."

I laughed and dropped my face into my hand. Okay, maybe I did go a little too deep, but that only emphasised how much I loved that band, plus it was becoming all too easy to lose myself to my inner kid when I was with Jamie. "I feel like fangirl might be slightly derogatory, but I don't care. I need at least one thing to swoon over in life."

"Just the one?" he asked, throwing me off guard for a minute.

It seemed it was even easier to lose my complete train of thought when I was with him too.

I stared back for a moment and remembered Kimmie's advice just as my mind was set to start a breakdown of what he could have meant, and instead decided it was what I wanted him to have meant.

"There may be more than one thing, but that's a secret," I teased. "Anyway, I'm sure you fanboy over something."

"Probably not," he said with a confident shake of his head.

I narrowed my eyes for a moment and watched him as he gave a smug smile and raised his eyebrows. "Don't worry," I said. "I'll find it."

"Seriously though," Jamie said after downing the last of his drink. He propped his elbow on the counter, rested his hand on his hand and stared into my eyes before continuing. "I meant it in the nicest possible way. It's extremely cute."

I stopped mid-gulp and lowered my glass hoping he hadn't noticed my surprise. There it was again, Jamie clouding my mind with one of his little comments or gestures.

We were still simply acquaintances, but somehow closer than I was with some of my friends, and although there wasn't any semblance of a romantic connotation to our relationship, he was everything that I would have loved to pursue for exactly that.

I did wonder if it was our lack of any real commitment that encouraged him to draw closer to me, based on his admission that he felt uncomfortable around girls who actively tried to engage in something more than friendship which is why I still hadn't pushed the question of us exchanging numbers. That was something that had Jay in between laughter and frustration, but I'd managed to appease him by saying that I wasn't in fact interested myself and preferred that Jamie had never requested my number.

"Do you feel like going for a walk?" he asked.

My eyebrows dipped as I stared back into his eyes. "A walk?" That was random.

"Just while we wait for them to come back. They're taking a twenty-minute break."

"Where to?"

"Don't laugh," he said, straightening himself up. "There's a shop, just past the park, that sells Twinkies. Have you ever had one?"

I thought for a moment. The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't recall if I'd ever seen one let alone tasted one.

"They're an American snack, a cake kind of thing," he prompted.

"Oh right. No, I haven't had one before."

"Well, I'm kinda hooked right now. I got one on my way home one night, but the store down the road is the only shop I've ever seen them in. I literally come up here a couple times a week just to get some."

Involuntarily, my lips pursed tightly as I considered if now was the time to drop the fanboy on him, something that he caught and burst into his silent laughter.

"Okay, you got me," he said raising his hands in surrender. "You'll be on it with me soon, trust me."

I shrugged and followed his lead, pulling my handbag over my shoulder as I got up.

We didn't leave straight away. I had to wait a few minutes while Jamie negotiated terms with Owen.

Jamie had the idea of stocking Owen's bar with Twinkies, so as long as he could secure an amount for a certain price, Owen would buy them off him and place them for sale at his bar.

Owen seemed to get a kick out of Jamie's challenges, and Jamie had a knack for persuading Owen into his schemes, such as tonight's one. It didn't hurt that Jamie was certain the Twinkies would sell like hotcakes – Jamie's words, not mine.

The air was warm and still, typical of a summer night though it was midway through autumn, and Jamie walked with moderate strides, matching my pace until we reached the said store. Once again, true to Jamie's almost showman persona whenever he bothered to turn it on, after a brief conversation with the shop owner Jamie secured, not only a one-time sale but a price lock on future orders with the possibility of reductions if orders increased.

"That was amazing," I said as we left the shop with six boxes of Twinkies.

"I'm glad you're impressed. Looks like a double win for me," he said and gave a small laugh which was drowned out by the sound of thunder followed by a sudden onset of rain.

"Whoa, crazy," I said, backing under the sheltered pathway at the entrance of the park. "What is up with British weather?"

Jamie laughed and looked up at the sky as though he would be able to determine some kind of weather report, which of course he attempted. "I think it might be a while," he said after a short time. "Unless you wanna try running for it?"

Instinctively I ran my hand over my hair. It was tied back in a ponytail, so the rain wouldn't do too much damage, but I was also wearing a thin cream blouse which wouldn't go down well once it got drenched with rain.

I said as much out loud and Jamie's eye knowingly dropped to my chest before he looked away quickly, with a shy smile etching itself on one side of his mouth. "You can wear this," he said, pulling off his jacket and throwing it over my shoulders.

"Don't be silly. I can't let you go out in the rain in a T-shirt. You'll catch a cold."

"You really do sound like a mom sometimes," Jamie said with a small sigh.

"I …" I stopped my protest, realising that I still hadn't cleared up the fact that I wasn't a mom, still it didn't feel good to hear him say that. "It doesn't take a mom to have such a simple concern for their friend walking through the heavy rain in a t-shirt," I said, folding my arms across my chest in a childish kind of way, but not knowing any other way of conveying my annoyance.

"It's not a bad thing. I mean, you're kind of a MILF."

"What does that even mean?" I asked, feeling my annoyance rise.

"I mean it most respectfully, so don't be mad when you find out."

I gave a light tut and stepped back out into the rain. If he wants to get wet, then let him, I thought until the heavy rain splashed down hard on me, and I, without a second thought, turned and pushed him back under the shelter. Yeah, right?, I mocked.

"I don't care how annoyed I am with you, I'm not letting you walk out in the rain in a t-shirt."

"I'm sorry," Jamie said, tilting his head in front of me to catch my gaze. "Can you not be mad, ... please?"

Of course, I thought and wondered why I imagined that I could be mad with him at all, especially when he uttered the word please in such an adorable way. "It's fine. Just take your jacket," I said, pulling it off and handing it back to him.

Jamie took it and, haphazardly, pulled it on, manoeuvring the boxes of Twinkies from hand to hand. "You okay now?" he said, gesturing to himself to show he was wearing his jacket.

"Yeah, sure," I said, noticing how his gesture made me feel even more like a mom as it reminded me so much of something Jay would do when I nagged him.

I gave a sweeping glance at the area in search of somewhere to sit. I hadn't been to that park before, and I wasn't sure how I'd never noticed it; park walks were my favourite. This park looked as though it would be a particularly idyllic place for a midnight stroll with a close friend or maybe even someone a bit closer than that.

I walked over to the small platform and sat on the edge of it. It wasn't big enough for a band, or anything like that, but maybe a sole artist could perform there, if that was its intended use at all, though I couldn't tell.

Jamie was following closely and silently, and I got the feeling that I, the big, bad mom had maybe upset him somehow. His down-turned smile and thoughtful frown were a lot more uncomfortable than his innocent comment and something I hated.

"I'm sorry," I said, eventually. "I don't even know why that upset me so much."

Jamie let out a small hmm as if he had been disturbed from deep contemplation, and then he smiled his usual wide smile.

"I think I might know," he said, but without any further explanation, he put the stack of boxes down and jumped up onto the platform behind me.

"I wonder what this platform is used for," he said, kicking one of the supporting beams as though testing its strength.

"I was wondering the same thing," I said.

Jamie paced for a while giving suggestions, of which my favourite was that it could be a place used for guys to serenade their girlfriends when on a date. I was tempted to ask him to have a go, but that probably would have come across as a little desperate. Or maybe it was just that I felt as though I wanted to believe we really were a couple on a date while he would have just taken it as a joke. Whatever the case I simply laughed at his suggestions and kept my imagination of him serenading me to myself.

"I'm sorry for getting you stuck out here in the rain," he said after walking the length of the platform for about the fifth time. "I didn't mean to make you miss the rest of the show."

"It's no problem, " I assured him, giving my arms a brisk rub. "I'm still having fun regardless."

"Are you cold?" he asked coming up behind me. "I'm not that cold," he continued. "And since we're not walking in the rain, then you should wear this."

The warmth of his jacket enveloped me as he wrapped it around me.

"Thanks," I said, genuinely appreciating his effort.

He was still crouched beside me, with one hand resting on my shoulder and his face, now that I had turned to him, less than twenty centimetres away. I caught his eyes first, getting lost in their dark depths for a moment before my gaze almost subconsciously fell to his lips. Almost in that same instant, his lips moved from my view, and it took me another moment before I realised they were now pressing gently against my own lips.

They were soft, as I had imagined, but it was over too quickly to fully enjoy, and he was once again looking deeply into my eyes.

"Was it ok for me to do that?" he asked.

What? Yes! I wanted to shout, but instead, I nodded my head, leaned back into him and kissed him again.