Ch. 9 - Dinner Invite

So much for my early night. I didn't get to sleep for hours after closing WhatsApp and spent most of the night fighting the urge to text him and continue our conversation where we left off. I probably would have gotten a whole lot more rest if I had just stayed online chatting till the early hours than what I did get after expending all of my mental energy trying to clear my mind and sleep.

Still, as if to make up for my suffering, I woke to a single message from Jamie.

       - - - Morning, Beautiful. Text me when you're up xxx

And, so began another chaotic day of me trying to keep up with my workflow, while checking and responding to messages that were coming in by the dozen.

       - - - What's for lunch? I know you only had coffee the last two days

He texted after we met up for our faux lunch date together, which really just meant taking our lunch break at the same time and texting while we ate.

       - I don't get hungry at work 

       - - - Eat, please. I don't want you to get ill

       - Hehe, you sound like Jay

       - - - Well, he sounds cool! I mean, he must be with a mom like you, and look, we have the same initial, so that must be a sign!

I hadn't gotten around to telling him that Jay was my brother and not my son. We hadn't talked much about him anyway, and the times when I had mentioned him, it wasn't the time for a confession. I just hoped that he wouldn't be too upset with me for lying, but the reveal was sure to be a good one if anything, so I was sure I didn't need to worry about untruths getting in our way.

       - - - Veronica. Which J do you think loves you the most?

I giggled and replied, 'Stop messing.'

       - - - Seriously?

       - I'm going to have to go with my J

I wrote though it was sweet to imagine there was a need to consider the answer.

       - - - Which one is YOUR J?

I giggled again, that time covering my mouth with my hand in the hope that I wasn't drawing too much attention to myself.

He's good, I thought, and I miss him so much.

Who would have thought that I would start missing just spending time with a guy, let alone one who I was texting all the time?

       - Do you want to be my J?

I asked, partly as a joke but somehow anxious about the answer, which came immediately.

       - - - Please!

I let out a low, muffled groan and dropped my head onto the nook of my elbow. The last thing I wanted to do was start squealing at work, but I was very close to it already. There was something about Jamie and the way he said please that made my knees weak, and I already knew I would never be able to say no to him.

The sound of someone clearing their throat above my head pulled my attention from my mental monologue about how crazy it was to have fallen so hard for someone after such a short time, but how I loved every minute of how it felt.

"Hey Kimmie," I said, trying my best to ignore the fact that she was giving me a 'What's going on with you?' look.

"It's the Uni student again, isn't it?" she said when I didn't initiate anything.

"Uh, yeah, kinda," I said, in the most indifferent voice I could muster.

Kimmie shook her head in dismissal of my nonchalance. She knew me better than I cared to admit and could see right through my pretence. "Don't give me that. You're over here, texting and giggling like a teenage girl."

"No, I'm not," I said.

"No?" Kimmie crossed her arms in a you're-up-to-no-good kind of way and looked around the room. "Hey, Penny," she called to a co-worker who sat across from me. "Is that you who's been giggling for the last hour, or so?"

Penny spun around in her chair and gave a slightly bewildered look before answering plainly. "I'm pretty sure it was Veronica," and then she turned back to her work.

"He likes to joke," I lied when Kimmie looked back at me.

"I love a comedian," she said flatly. "Why don't you invite him tonight so I can meet him? He might make the evening a bit more interesting."

It had passed my mind a few times, but I wasn't sure how I would drop a sudden date on my colleagues, not to mention the short notice, which was way shorter now.

"It's not exactly a black tie event," Kimmie replied when I told her. "It's just dinner and drinks with friends. I'm sure he can make it."

"You don't think I'll look desperate, asking him with such short notice?"

Kimmie turned to sit on the edge of the desk beside me with a look of full concern paling her face. "That overthinking," she said, tapping her finger against her temple. "Is going to ruin you."

"Come on, Kimmie."

"I'm serious, you're going to make yourself ill. There's nothing desperate about asking a friend to go out for a drink with you."

Yeah, I guess, but … "What about … his age?" I whispered.

Kimmie ducked her head, gave an exaggerated glance from left to right and then whispered. "Because it's spy code for a secret mission he's on?"

Really? I thought and dropped my head into a sideways tilt, giving my eyebrows a quick raise.

"What?" she laughed. "Come on. Who cares? You're the one who's in love with Mr Hot, Uni guy …"

"Jamie," I mumbled under her rant.

"So who cares what anybody thinks about his age?" she continued regardless. "Is it a part of your work contract to have your dates' ages vetted before you're allowed to fall for them?"

"Dramatic," I mouthed.

"Seriously," she continued. "You're not a giggler, in fact, you're barely a laugher. But when I look over and see you talking with him you seem like a completely different person. Don't let your mind give advice that's not wanted, listen to this instead." Kimmie pressed my hand against my chest. "And me," she added. "Now invite him."

I picked my phone back up after Kimmie returned to her desk and gave me a 'I'm watching you' sign.

       - Jamie?

I texted.

       - - - Yes Beautiful

That's why my cheeks are so sore, I thought as I bit down on my lip to restrain my smile as best I could. Kimmie was right, not that I was overly serious or even the slightest bit solemn, but I was long aware of the fact that Jamie brought genuine smiles to my face much easier than anyone else, and you already know about the giggling. But as much as I knew what my feelings may have meant, and I wished he felt the same, my mind had been playing its usual tricks and trying to find every reason to belittle our interactions.

I was going to take Kimmie's advice on this and just follow my heart, and wherever it wanted to lead me.

I texted a smiley emoji.

       - I know it's short notice but …

Delete.

       - I was wondering if …

Delete.

STOP! I screamed internally. Why does my brain always make me second guess and try to water everything down? Be confident and assertive, I willed myself, taking a deep breath.

       - Can you come to an office dinner with me tonight? 

Maybe it was too sudden, and he's trying to figure out how to turn me down, I pondered after five minutes passed. Maybe I should just delete it and forget about asking after all.

I inhaled a deep breath and then let it out slowly all the while reminding myself to stop overthinking and to just go for it.

Five more minutes passed as I stared at my monitor and struggled to concentrate on the next task. I picked up my phone for what was probably the hundredth time in those last five minutes just as the sound of a message came through.

        - - - Sorry, I probably should stop texting in class. Teachers getting annoyed

And then as a reply to my last message, 'Sure, let me know when and where, and I'll be there.'