Ch. 16 - Six Months Later

The kitchen enveloped me in the comforting symphony of sizzling ingredients and the familiar tunes that were softly playing in the background. In the midst of cooking and swaying to the music, my mind wandered, contemplating the recent shifts in my own emotions. Six months had passed since the situation with Jamie and I was finally starting to feel a bit lighter, finding solace in the routine of work and caring for Jay.

I glanced over at him, slouched in his chair with a heavy cloud of disappointment hanging over him.

"What's going on, Jay? Why do you look so down?"

He let out a sigh as he laid the plates on the table. "You know we were all supposed to be spending the night at Matty's tomorrow to watch some movies?"

I nodded and dished a spoonful of rice into his plate.

"He's gone and gotten himself in trouble, so he's grounded, and the night's been cancelled," he said with a deep frown on his face.

"Ahh. That's a shame, but if he's been naughty, then that's what happens, I guess."

"Come on, V," he exclaimed. "He wasn't naughty," he said, giving an exaggerated eye roll on the word naughty.

"So, why's he grounded?"

Jay let out a loud tut and began eating his food in silence.

I knew Jay and his friends had been planning the night for a while now. Matty had his own basement room with a large screen TV and all the accessories they could want for a fun night in.

"Ok, sorry," I said with a small laugh. "You know I'm playing. Although, still," I added, which got a quick side-eye glance from Jay. "Okay, okay. Can't you do it at one of the other guy's houses?"

"Nope. Brian's mom's ill, and the other guys don't have the space."

The sadness in his voice touched me then. It wasn't often Jay got upset about a plan being cancelled, he was usually quite easy going with whatever happened, but then he hadn't had a night with his friends for a while.

"You know, you can have it here if you want," I said, and noticed his nervous reaction as he bit his lip. "You don't want it here?"

"It's just ..." Jay put his spoon down and straightened himself in his chair. "Don't be mad, you suggested it, remember?"

Well, I was already getting mad even though I didn't know what I was supposed to be mad about. I guess that was a natural response when someone asked you not to get mad, wasn't it?

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, Leon was going to come. It'd be pretty harsh not to invite him."

Would it? I wondered, but also ...

"I didn't realise you were still hanging out with him."

"Yeah, well, you know, he's apologised and all that, and he really is a cool guy. A little weird, but cool ... so." Jay looked back down at his plate.

He had a point, I guessed. Even I couldn't really hold what had happened against him forever, despite how much it had hurt.

I let out a small sigh as my mind flickered slightly in thought of how Jamie was doing. "Weird how?" I asked, recalling Jay's comment.

Jay laughed then, for the first time since he'd gotten home.

"What?" I asked, curious about what could be so funny.

Jay dropped his head into his hand while gesturing with his other hand towards me. "This, V. I thought your guy was a little strange when you told me he was twenty, but when I found out it was Leon ... "

"Please don't call him my guy again. Besides, I'm sure it's not like that anymore."

"Yeah, well, you don't go to school with him."

Now it was my turn to play with the food on my plate as I fought the urge to ask what exactly he meant.

"It's probably better that we don't talk about him ... at all," I said.

He's just a kid with a crush, he'll get over it. I consoled myself, noting that kid was the optimal word.

"No problem," he said, pausing for a while before asking, "So does that mean having it here is out of the question?"

I gave a small groan. This whole topic had started with me intending to offer Jay a lifeline for his failed boy's night in.

"I guess, it should be okay," I said, accepting that I couldn't really hide from Jamie forever. "I can just stay in my room or whatever."

"Are you sure? I don't want it to make you uncomfortable."

Uncomfortable? I thought for a moment about how it would feel to see Jamie. I guessed there was the potential for discomfort which made me feel a little uneasy, yet beneath it all, there was a lingering curiosity that persisted. Despite the impossible situation that we had gotten into, the idea of seeing him again did stir some interest, if only to see how he was doing.

"Nope, I can handle it. I'm an adult after all," I laughed, making an internal resolve to draw a clear line between myself and Jamie, which would start with the language that I used with him and about him.

"So, it's cool? The guys are all coming here?"

"Sure," I smiled, happy to see the change in Jay's demeanour.

As Jay continued his dinner while chattering happily about things that had happened during his day, I couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. On one hand, I was glad to see Jay's excitement and had a feeling of empowerment that I was making an active move to get over the whole Jamie incident, but on the other, the impending gathering triggered a subtle unease within that still lingered on Jay's comment about Jamie being a bit weird.

I took a deep breath, silently affirming my decision to establish some healthy boundaries with Jamie, my only hope was that he was also ready to forget what had happened and move on with his own path.

I had stayed in my room for the evening while Jay and friends were downstairs. Aside from returning a greeting to Brian, who always hollers me out when he enters the house, I didn't bother to check in on them.

I'd planned to leave any running into Jamie until the morning, at least then, if things felt awkward, I wouldn't need to worry about sharing the house for the night.

They'd already eaten and done tons of laughing and rough-housing by the time things finally went silent, and I assumed they'd begun their movie.

That was my cue to make a quick dash to the kitchen and stock up on a fresh cup of tea and some snacks for my own solo movie.

I did heave a small sigh of regret that I would be spending the evening alone.

I would usually sit with Jay and his friends, but then, I guessed it was probably for the best. I'd always seen them as kids – nothing more, but after my experience with Jamie, I realised Jay's friends were at an awkward age now where feelings of love and desire were definitely stirring and the last thing I wanted to do was be a part of enticing any such feelings.

I let out an audible laugh and gave an internal reminder not to get too ahead of myself, it wasn't like every fifteen-year-old was waiting to fall in love with me.

I also pinned a mental reminder; I need to have the boy/girl talk with Jay.

My thoughts were interrupted at the sound of the kitchen door, and then a voice that I recognised all too well.

"No, we'll be staying in the house, just watching movies and stuff," he said into his phone.

Anxiety fluttered through me as his voice tugged at emotions I thought I'd put to lay. Slowly, I turned to watch as he drew nearer until he raised his gaze and met mine. His movement froze as we simply stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before being brought back into the moment by whoever was on the phone.

"Yeah, I'm here," he said into the phone. "Sorry, mom. Can I call you back in one minute? I've just got to .. er .. Yeah, one minute."

He ended the call and dropped his hands to his side as a nervous smile spread on his face.

He was still as beautiful as ever, though his youth was more apparent with his hair tied back in a ponytail as it had been the last time I saw him; thank goodness he wasn't wearing his school uniform.

"Jay said I could take the call in here," he said, raising his phone. "But I can go in the garden if you'd like."

"Of course not," I said, hating the way Jamie seemed so tense as he spoke to me. "I can go upstairs till you're done."

"I'm sorry, I won't be long. It's my mom."

Ah, that might explain his expression.

"How is she?" I asked.

"She's good, but you know how she gets."

"Yeah. She must hate me." I'd probably hate me if I were her, even though I hadn't exactly been the one in the wrong.

"What? No," Jamie said, quickly enough to sound overly defensive. "She knows it was all my fault. She probably feels sorry for you, if anything." He paused for a moment before continuing. "She's not worried about that. I haven't told her that your Jason's sister."

Of course, he hasn't! Though I somehow felt a little relieved that she didn't know. I could only imagine her picturing me as some evil temptress luring teenagers to my house, but still.

"You really need to stop lying Jamie ... Leon," I corrected myself.

"I didn't lie to her."

"Omission is a type of lying, you know? The truth is the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

Jamie's head dropped, and with it, my heart sank. How I wished he'd make that cheeky smile that I was used to, accompanied by one of his playful remarks about how much like a mom I was. Though the reference now seemed as apt as it was painful.

"I'm going to go and wait upstairs while you take your call, maybe we'll see each other later."

Jamie didn't move, nor speak until I passed him and made my way to the door.

"Veronica," he called as I reached for the handle.

I turned, my head tilting slightly in wonder at what he might say.

His mouth hesitated for a moment, the quiver of unspoken words evident on his lips. However, he simply smiled and said goodnight.

"Goodnight," I replied and hastened to open the door and get back to my bedroom.

On the other side of my bedroom door, I jumped onto my bed, holding in the urge to scream. Am I ever going to stop feeling like this? I wondered as my heart once again burst with the emotions it had the last time I saw him.

Two beeps from my phone invaded my inner chaos and I sat up, grabbing it up from the desk before remembering that Jamie had been blocked a long time ago and couldn't contact me.

I let out a sigh which I wasn't sure was relief or regret, and opened my phone to see two messages from George.

That's strange, I thought, I hadn't heard from him for a while. Or then again, maybe that's it. Maybe it's fate telling me it has a different plan.

My inner muse almost made me laugh out loud.

I wasn't interested in George in that way and couldn't imagine that I ever would be, but then I never imagined that I'd fall for a teenager either. So, on that thought, before any second guessing seeped in, I opened the message and replied:

- Hey George, how have you been? I've missed you.

I typed, subconsciously using the words I'd felt when I saw Jamie, and I added three smiling emojis just for good measure.