Dilemma

Agate had rushed to my rescue, freezing up it's leg before it could move but it easily burst through, kicking her in her guts and flinging her to the wall that stood around us.

I held my head with both hands as I watched her eyes close, the flicker of her brilliance, waning as she succumbed to the overwhelming grip of death.

NO.

As everything went inaudible around me, Blaze jumped in front of me to save me from the impending danger that lurked around me. The monster easily tore through his body, hitting him away to an unbelievable distant and then proceeded to smack me too.

As I fell to the ground after hitting the wall behind me, everything went from inaudible, to a loud ringing that reached even my chest.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!

I held my chest, unable to breathe and with barely enough strength to keep my eyes open.

Agate was looking at me while on the floor, as words escaped her lips soundlessly, I felt the life leave her body as her face fell to the ground, laughter and the sound of cries enveloping my mind.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I didn't even care what happened next, as the beast approached me at top speed I just simply bawled my eyes out in pain. The pain that flowed through me and out was something I had never felt before, it was intense and brutal. 

"Nezro duck" A voice screamed from behind, cascading with the destruction that the monster brought along with it.

Before those words even reached my ears, I had fallen to the ground, my mind going blank in almost the instant I touched the ground. The resulting sounds I heard after that were loud and jarring but I couldn't make out what they were, I simply just succumbed to the sleep that overtook me.

******

By the time I had awoke, I had a mild headache from all the impact my head was forced to face, the sound of Sasha crying was extremely loud and the croaking sound of her sobbing was intense, causing the sides of my head to beat even harder.

I just laid on the ground and looked at the sky, all the events of the week playing by my mind, which was in shambles at the moment. Everyone was dead except me and Sasha, the two least predictable survivors.

I unconsciously got up and headed towards Agate's body which the other team were already covering by the time I reached there.

They tried pulling me away from her but I just resisted while screaming, I didn't realize what I was saying until after they had forced me to sit while consoling me.

"It's all my fault, if I had just listened maybe she would still be alive by now. Why didn't I just die instead, why!!, why!!??"

I felt extremely tired by the time we had carried all the bodies into the two trucks that were available, before starting our journey back to earth.

They had destroyed the operation channel and the gate closeed completely, so the task force created a remote gate, directly linked to earth for our return.

As we drove past the fence of the task force I had completely lost all focus and could barely make out what our commander was speaking about.

As far as I was concerned, I didn't even care, all I could think of was what Agate could have said in her last moments and I tried very hard to decipher what it was.

"I believe we're all due for rest commander, pardon Nezro's absent mindedness, he must still be greatly disturbed after all that went down yesterday." Ferol's voice sounded, heavy with grief.

"Hmm, well he did play a major role in exterminating whatever that thing you all faced was. At least according to you"

Of course he wouldn't believe, in fact I didn't blame him because actually, how he felt was justifiable. I too didn't believe that I had played any beneficial role in anything that was done in the past week, or rather three weeks, according to Earth's time.

We were discharged the following hour after undergoing a couple of tests to ascertain whether we had come in contact with any type of disease along the course of our mission. Over six people had died and all they were concerned about was the threat of an alien disease.

I headed home, my head filled with thoughts of regret and doubt; regrets for the actions I took which had led to the demise of an entire team, and doubt as to whether I could continue as a Trifter.

"Cheer up son, you tried your best" Ferol encouraged me, patting me gently on the back.

I hadn't noticed it earlier when we were in omnicron but it was visible now that I paid very little attention to it, he was aged. About in his late forties or early fifties, but had somehow managed to pull through all that he encountered in the last two weeks.

'What a frivolous fighting spirit!'

I chuckled.

His remark was something I had found extremely funny and I even thought it was a joke, but I didn't tell him that, or any one who approached me in fact. I just simply accepted his remorse by nodding my head mildly while I resumed my walk.

By the time I got home, rukius had come and gone on his next mission. I was surprised that he didn't even leave a note to address my absence, perhaps he must have figured out that I would enlist as a trifter soon enough.

I slept for the next couple of hours, shying away from chores and even food. I had lost my appetite and barely even ate since I couldn't set my mind straight.

The report of our 'success' came in later in the evening news, and the beaming smile of the female reporter was sure to lift up the hearts of everyone that watched the news.

"Trifter squad 56, came back this afternoon after completely shutting off the point B gate that had opened up in Eridanus a couple of weeks ago, although they encountered minor causalities along the course of their mission, it's safe to say that they wer-"

I turned off the TV, not willing to participate in the hypocrisy that was going to be spread a few minutes from then.

"Minor casualties?"

I felt like punching the table in front of myself, but held myself back at the thought of breaking my feeble hands.

Many people would sleep peacefully at the thought of the resolution of one gate with 'minor casualties' while we, who had experienced the tragic scenario that ensued the past two weeks in, would have to live with memories of it till we died.

Even news of the new breed of negron which we had encountered, would be hidden completely from the public's awareness and the most painful part of it all, was that when asked, they'd claim it was hidden from them 'for the good of the people', to protect their interests.

It was a reasonable manner of approach but sadly, a painful one with blemish and lies written all over it.

I was to give my report the next day, where I would have to account for every action taken and sign even another NDA in regards to what I had encountered. It was all a hassle that I could barely keep up with, all while trying to battle my grief.

I forced myself to eat something, and chugged down a whole glass of water, to push it all down before rushing to the toilet and emptying it all out.

This strange routine of painful feeding went on for a couple of days and the drugs which I took were barely helping, seeing as to how it was more of my mental state that was affected than my physical state.

I had nightmares, night after night, about the same recurring scene playing in my mind as I was forced to relive that moment when everything fell apart because of the naive decision that I had made that day. I mostly cried myself to sleep the previous nights but this one was different.

After a series of contemplations, I had finally grasped what it was that Agate had said before she died. My eyes stretching in bewilderment at the thought of what those words she whispered in her last moments would mean for me in the upcoming days.

"It's alright Nezro, keep going. I love you"

I cried.

I wailed for hours until I finally had no strength to cry, letting out wails soundlessly as tiredness engulf my consciousness.

I slept that night with the heaviest of burdens resting on my heart.

The burden of a request from a lover.