Deserve

I'm fallen than even most fallen,

I'm stupid enough to sleep;

During the most important deed

Of the entire day,

I'm stupid enough to sleep.

What do I do?

At times,

This conditioned body takes over me;

Leaving me behind

With unpleasant faces of You and Your devotees.

And yet You shower Your divinity

Over this most conditioned soul,

And yet You don't fail to reciprocate,

Even if I'm not very serious for my goal.

I certainly don't deserve this boon of Yours,

That sometimes makes me feel You are there!

Oh dear Lord, I don't deserve

Even to feel Your divine presence,

Because I'm sinful being,

Because I deserve only to be punished,

To be crushed,

Under the lotus feet:

Of Your wonderful devotees.

Simply because I do not deserve,

Such an extent of reciprocation;

But Oh my dear Lord,

I welcome anything You send my way,

Even if that is as harsh as thunder falling upon ground,

Or as soft as Your sweet lotus feet,

Even though I do not deserve such mercy.