Can things get worse?

Bea's POV

I'm waking up to the love of my life, Josh. The sun is streaming in and filling our room with a beautiful, warm light. Today is our last full day in Thailand, and I'm going to miss it.

I really love Josh and I don't want to make the same mistakes I have before. I'm so thankful that I can wake up next to him knowing that I get to spend the day with the person I love.

"Good morning Bea,"

"Good morning Josh, you excited for today?"

"Noo, it's our final day here." He moves in closer,

"Yeah, I know. And then we have to go back to school."

He stands up and walks towards the bathroom, "School isn't that bad,"

"Well, it will be when you tell people we're dating."

He walks out of the bathroom, and looks at me. It's as if he's dissapointed and confused at the same time.

"Is there a problem if I tell people?"

"Josh they will-"

"No, Bea. I don't care about everyones opinions."

"Josh, you and I are different skin colours."

"Who cares? It's you and I in the relationship, not them."

I love Josh. Josh was the kind of person that made me feel at ease and was always there for me. He never judged me for the things I did or said, and he always encouraged me to be myself. He was so accepting of me, regardless of my race and background.

He taught me that love is more than just skin deep and that I should never be ashamed of who I am.

No matter the color of our skin, I'll always love him.

"I love you Josh,"

"I love you too, I'm going to have a shower."

As he's in the shower, I stare at the imprint of his body in the bed, the scent of his hair on the pillow. I love hi-

There's a knock

"Come in."

It's Ryan.

Last night, Ryan went to talk to Steph and I haven't seen him since. I know Ryan doesn't want an open relationship, but he likes Steph a lot and I really hope they can find a way to make it work.

I'm really hoping for the best for them both, as I know they care about each other and I want them to be happy.

And I also can't be his shoulder to cry on, it's time for everyone to be happy.

"Can we talk Bea?"

"Sure. How was last night?"

"It was ok. We've decided to stay together and try and make things work, I think she just got scared of the idea of commitment. But besides that we're fine."

"That's good! I'm so happy to hear that,"

He grabs my hand, "But, there's something else I want to talk about."

"What's up?"

"I feel like there's still something there between us," the shower stops, "We still have feelings for eachother..."

I'm lost. This isn't how the story goes, he was supposed to find love because I've found love but-

"I think we owe it to ourselves to explore this underlying passion."

"Ryan-"

And before I knew it his lips were on mine- shit we're kissing. I try to move away, both of us completely oblivious any sounds we have made-

"Hey guys," Josh walks out of the bathroom.

"Shit, Josh I'm so sorry, I-" He puts his finger to my lips,

"Don't worry it's fine."

Ryan walks out of the room, "Bea I'll talk to you later."

I'm embarrased, I'm annoyed.

"Josh, I'm so sorr-"

"I'm really excited for tonight."

"Wha- what's happening tonight?"

"Well, we're having the final dinner tonight."

"I'm sad. I'm-"

"Bea, I'll talk to you at dinner. I've got to go sort things out"

--12pm

We're sitting at the table for lunch. Well everyone except for Josh.

"Well baby," Steph kisses Ryan, "Want to tell everyone the big news?"

He doesn't reply.

"We're back together."

"Aww that is so sweet. I'm so happy for you guys."

"Wow. I'm genuienly shocked. Bea being nice to me?"

"Yeah, you should be shocked." Ryan joins in.

"Steph, ignore Ryan. I hope you guys have a great relationship."

"Me too. I wish I was in a relationship," Grace smiles to herself

Aww Grace

"You will be one day, Theo what the fuck are you waiting for?"

"Woahh, way to put me on the spot."

Sooner or later, we left to go get ready.

7pm

Opens groupchat

Grace-wtf is everyone wearin

*sends pic

Steph- omfg I love that dress on u

Grace- u look hot

Bea- ty guys

Ryan- u look nice

*sends pic

Steph- I'm wearing this

Grace- woahhh

Bea- boddyyy

Theo- ayo Ryan that's your girl

Ryan- ik ik

Bea- Grace wear black

Steph- yeah we're all wearing black

*sends pic

Bea-yesss

Steph-yesss

We're all sitting down now, the seat next to me awaiting Josh's presence.

The doorbell rings, that's weird. Grace stands up,

"I'll get it!"

Thank God, its Josh. I see him as he walks in and-

"Melanie?" Behind him.

"Hey Bea, I haven't seen you since the flight."

"Yeah... why are you here?"

"Well Josh, invited me."

Why the fuck would he invite her-

"Josh, we have to talk." Theo takes Josh outside.

I'm so fucking confused.

"Well I'm guessing Josh told you all."

"Told us all what?"

"Did he not? He said he would, and that's why I'm here because he said he wants me to be more involved in the friend group."

Steph looks at me confused, "So... you're part of our friend group?"

"Yeah, I guess you could put it that way."

Grace clears her throat, "Why exactly are you here?"

"I'm a special friend of Josh."

"What does that mean?"

She laughs, "We're friends with benefits."

THEY'RE WHAT?

"From the past or..."

"Bea," She looks at me for assurance, "I told you about my hookup on the plane."

THAT WAS THE FUCKING HOOKUP.

I'm leaving.

"Bea, where are you you going?" The girls look at me,

"Just getting fresh air."

I walk out to see Josh and Theo smoking a ciggarette. I walk up to them, lighting one of my own and standing with them.

"I'm going to go back inside, you two need to talk."

Silence, just a sad, awkward silence.

"Josh-"

"What's wrong? I just did what you did to me."

"What did I do to you?"

"Hmm, you kissed your ex while I was in the showe-"

"Josh you're so fucking petty."

"I'm petty? That's a fucking jok-"

"Yeah you are, I'm going inside. I'm not dealing with this tonight."

"Like you never deal with anything." He shouts as I walk away, he's drunk. I know he's drunk and that's the only reason why I'm mad.

We sit back down, he sits in my seat and pulls a chair for Melanie. Putting him in the middle of us.

He kisses her, as I'm sitting right next to him. I try not to look at him, but it's hard when you're trying not to stare at someone doing something incredibly intimate next to you.

I slap him as he kisses her. "What are you doing?" I say, my voice shaking. He doesn't answer me; his mouth is still on hers, and she's kissing him back.

I'm shouting "Stop!" but it's no use.

"Stop," I say again, more firmly this time. He stands up, picks me up and takes me upstairs. His hands find their way to my chest, and before I can move he pushes me up against the wall so hard that I gasp in pain.

He smiles at me, and then he reaches down and grabs my ass, pulling me closer to him. My heart is pounding in my throat, and I don't know what to do.

My eyes widen as he presses closer to me, and suddenly there's no air. Suddenly I'm not in control any longer. No one ever has been, when we're together like this. And I love every moment of it.

He pulls away from me for a moment, looking over my shoulder, and then comes back to kiss me again.

He moves behind me, and I feel his hands on my bare skin, tracing along the curves of my hips and thighs. Then they slide beneath my skirt, and I gasp, surprised by how much he knows about what turns me on.

"Bea, I'm so sorry,"

He continuously apolgises as he kisses me, his hands roaming all over my body. I respond to him, kissing back and pressing myself into his large frame

"We're both as bad as eachother aren't we?"

"Yeah we are, I fucking hate Ryan though."

"Yeah same," I act confused

"Don't act confused, I know that he forced himself onto you."

Oh... well. I'm not going to lie to him

"Yeah, he did,"

"I love you so fucking much, I hope you know that."

"I love you too Josh."

"You are my everything, Bea. You are my sunshine, my hope, and my strength. You are my courage, my ambition, and my inspiration. I love you more than life itself, and I want to thank you for always being there for me. You have seen me through the best and worst times, and you have never once judged me." He starts tearing up,

"You are the one that I turn to when I'm feeling down, and you are the one that I always want to celebrate with when I'm feeling on top of the world. You're the one I turn to when I'm horny," I hit him on the arm.

"You are the love of my life."

I love him, I love Josh.

"Josh, I love yo-"

"And this is why I'm going to start being sober, because of you. You have given me hope, having you by my side has shown me that I can do anything."

"Josh I fucking love you," I laugh and I hug him.

We're lying in a pool of our tears, I'm lying with someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with.