Chapter 36

I looked across the shower at Bucky. He was watching us with a small forlorn look on his face. I half-turned, caressed Loki's face with my fingers, and gave him a soft kiss. Turning back around, I walked over to Bucky. He stood still, watching me come near him. I placed my hands on both sides of his face, cradling his head in my hands. I pulled his head down until his forehead touched mine. For a moment we just stood and breathed the same air. 

"Why the sad look my Bionic Man? Are you unhappy with me?"

He raised his head and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. 

"Absolutely not Doll. You make me very happy. I know you love me, and this has been amazing. But I know that once we head downstairs, this ends. It has been something I will always treasure, last night and this morning. I will never leave your side, even though we are not together." He trailed his fingers down my face. "You are beautiful Ariane. Never forget that. You are that rare person, beautiful inside and out. The things you have handled and overcome. I am in awe of you. You are the only one for me. I will always love you, until the day I die." 

He gently kissed my lips, and I deepened it. He pulled away and I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. He cupped my face and wiped away the tears that fell on my cheeks. 

"Why the tears Doll? Please don't."

"I don't want this to end."

"It has to. All things do. I'm not your soulmate. Loki is. I am grateful for the gift he gave me. To be with you as if we were together."

I wrapped my arms around him. 

"So, love me one last time. Don't fuck me, make love to me. Let it end then on a sweet note." 

I rose up on tiptoe and kissed him. His arms wrapped around me and crushed me to him. His kiss held a note of desperation. I slid my hands into his hair, grabbing it and pulling him closer. He broke the kiss and turned me around until my back was against his chest. He dipped his head and nipped lightly at my neck. His hands slid up and cupped my breasts just like he did when he came into the shower. I gave a soft moan at his touch. It was so sweet and gentle, and he was breaking my heart. I could feel how hard he was against my ass as he continued to gently stroke my breasts. One hand slid down my side and cupped me between my legs. I widened my stance, giving him access. 

Softly he dipped his fingers inside me, slowly moving them in and out. My breath caught at the feel of him. He slid his fingers out and up until he was gently rubbing my clit, making me moan. As he continued to stroke me, I leaned my head back against his shoulder. 

"Please, I want more than just your fingers inside me. Make love to me James," I whispered to him.

He closed his eyes and groaned. I had never used his first name before, and it seemed it meant a lot to him. He opened his eyes, and I could see every bit of his love for me in his eyes. 

"Say it again, please."

I smiled. "James."

He hugged me tightly. 

"Brace your hands against the wall, Doll."

I raised my hands and placed them against the wall as he had asked. He stayed behind me. He hooked my leg over his metal arm and lifted it. It left me open wide, and I shivered as he slid inside me. I gave a soft cry as he filled me completely. It was a new angle for me, and it made me even tighter than normal. I heard his breath catch. He started to stroke in and out of me. 

"I will always remember this." Stroke in. "How tight you feel." Stroke out. "How sweet you taste." Stroke in. "How it feels to come inside you." Stroke out. His motions continued with each sentence. "How you feel as you come around my cock. The feel of your skin. The sound of your cries of pleasure. And the thing I will always remember the most, the sound of you screaming my name as I make you come."

Wave upon wave of pleasure washed over me. His words made each stroke mean and feel so much more. I felt his love in his every movement. I arched back into him, wanting him deeper. He moaned and thrust farther into me. 

"Pleasure yourself Doll while I am inside you. I want to hear your gasps as you bring yourself close."

I shivered at his words, and it seemed he swelled even larger inside me. I lifted my hand from the wall and placed it between my legs. With my leg raised, I could feel him moving against my fingers in and out in a steady rhythm. I slid my fingers back up and found my clit. I started to rub and circle my clit, taking myself higher as he had asked. With each steady thrust and the movement of my fingers, he brought me closer and closer until I was on the edge. Just like Loki, I fought it back. I needed him to fall with me.

He whispered in my ear. "Go over, love. I will be there to catch you."

I shook my head. "No, not unless you go over with me."

"Then we will fall together as you wish." 

He sucked hard at the place where my neck and shoulder met. I cried out at the sting, and it pushed me over. I came and I felt him coming with me, filling me. I had been filled by both of the men I loved this morning, so why did it feel as if my heart was broken in two. 

He let my leg down, turned me around, and kissed me. As the kiss ended, tears fell, and I threw myself in his arms. I felt his heartbeat against my chest, and I knew his strong soldier's heart beat only for me. I held him tightly and cried. I felt his hand stroke my hair. 

"Shh it's ok Doll. I will still always be here, even if I can't make love to you, hold you, or kiss you. I would do anything for you, even kill for you."

I knew what that statement meant to him. He had shared his horror at being the Winter Soldier with me and how he felt about hurting others. My heart broke a little more and I did my best to shield them both from it. 

He felt a little of how I was feeling. I heard his voice in my head. 'We will always have this, and I will always be with you, no matter how far.'

He held me a few minutes longer until the water got cold, and we had to get out. Sadly, I watched them both get dressed. I walked over to Bucky. He watched the sway of my hips and breasts as I was still naked. I kissed him softly. I turned and did the same for Loki. They would always be my guys. I smiled at Loki. 

"Pick an outfit for me to wear, Mischief Man?"

"As my lady commands." He gave me a courtly bow and I giggled. He was making me feel better. Loki had a way of doing that. He went to my closet and came out with my favorite pair of jeans and a dark emerald top. Yeah, I had bought a lot of green clothes. It was my favorite color even before meeting Loki. 

I turned to Bucky. "Ok Bionic Man. That means you get to pick the underwear." 

He grinned and walked into my closet. He came out with my only red lace bra. And only my bra. 

"You don't have anything blue, which is my favorite color. But I think it will look amazing against your skin."

I made a mental note to buy some blue items to add to my wardrobe. 

"Only the bra?"

"Oh yes, Doll. Today you go commando. And only the three of us know what isn't under the jeans."

I grinned. "Commando it is then."

Both men laughed as I got dressed. We walked to the door. I took a deep breath and opened it. We all stepped into the hallway and started to make our way down to breakfast. I could hear everyone, so I knew we were a little late.

"Damn, I hope Thor left us something to eat. He eats like a fucking bottomless pit." I laughed as I heard Bucky's muttering.

"Don't worry. If he didn't, I can cook something. I plan on cooking dinner one night. I enjoy cooking but never really had a chance or time to do it. Or even the food to cook if I am being honest."

Loki reached out, took my hand, and laced his fingers with mine. "That is not something that shall happen in the future my sweet. You will always have food to eat to your heart's desire."

"As long as you don't tell me that I have to eat and when, then that works for me."

"Agreed."

We walked into the dining room, ready to face the day as best we could be. And to top it all off my hands were itching like a bitch. Must have been something on the shower wall. It was annoying and I wished it would stop.