Chapter 71

I sat and looked out the window at the butterflies dancing over the meadow. Bruce had been right that I would be weak, and it pissed me off. I hated having my body weak. It had been three weeks since I fully woke up. Bruce was satisfied that there was no brain damage. But what shocked everyone was that I had full and complete use of my hands, just as if I had never damaged them. Loki made a guess that my magic had healed them because it would have left me awake but defenseless.

I had spent these last three weeks alone for most of the time. I had asked Bruce not to allow Loki or Bucky into the room to see me until I was ready. I needed to get stronger and gather my courage for what I had to say and for their rejection again. I knew they had already rejected me, not believing the words they had spoken while I was in my coma. And they had rejected me in the most painful way possible, by taking away the most intimate way I could be with them.

I had seen the whole team one at a time since I woke up. Each had given me a long hug and told me how glad they were that I was awake and how they missed me. I would nod and smile, but I didn't talk. I hadn't spoken except to ask Bruce to keep the boys out.

 I kept tightly shielded when Wanda came to visit. When she left, I heard Loki and Bucky talking to her outside my door and heard her tell them "I don't know. She is shielded so tightly still that I can't even feel her when she is sitting right in front of me."

Thor was the last one to visit me. He didn't say anything. He just swept me up into his arms and started to cry. I was in shock. The mighty Thor was crying. I teared up and started to cry. I just laid my head down on his large shoulder and broke. I sobbed so hard my body shook. He just held me tighter and stroked my hair, offering comfort but not saying anything. He let me cry out all the pain I had been holding in. He just sat and held me for at least an hour. Much longer than I had let anyone else visit. 

Finally, as I was all cried out, I just curled up in his arms. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart. I felt like a small child in his arms. He still hadn't spoken, knowing I didn't want words. I laid there and almost dozed off. He went to put me to bed when at last I spoke. 

"Please don't leave. Don't leave me alone. Stay with me please?" I whispered it so low he almost didn't hear it. His voice rumbled in his chest under my ear.

"Of course I will stay, Lady Ari. Can you give me one moment so I can tell Bruce what is going on? He will be worried that something is wrong if I don't come out." 

I nodded. He laid me in the bed, and I curled up in a ball. I heard him talking in a low voice and then the door shut. He came over and lay in the bed next to me. I rolled over and plastered myself to his side. I laid my head on his chest again and I felt his arms come around me. He made me feel safe. That nothing can hurt me. But I needed to tell him something. I had worried him too.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, Lady Ari. You have nothing to be sorry for. I don't know what hurt you so badly and I'm not going to ask."

"I feel safe with you, Thor. Like the world can't touch me. That pain and hurt can't touch me."

"And it won't as long as I am here. Go to sleep, Ari. I will protect you through the night and will still be here come morning."

I nodded and closed my eyes. I whispered one last thing, too low for him to hear, as sleep took me, "Thank you Thor."

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I opened my eyes and found that Thor had kept his promise. He had held me all night and kept my nightmares at bay. I had not slept more than a couple hours at a time since I woke up. Nightmares plagued me. Things from my past, pain from my present. Every night I relived it all. I felt so much better from having a good night's sleep.

"Good morning, Ari."

I smiled. "Good morning, Thor."

He smiled wide, delighted to hear my voice get stronger and see me smile. "How did you sleep?"

"Surprisingly good. You protected me from my nightmares, and I was able to really sleep. I don't suppose you could do that every night?"

"I can if that is what you want."

I nodded. "Yes please. In a non-creepy way, I like having your arms around me."

He grinned. "I understand what you mean. Now that you are awake, I will let you do your morning thing. I'm sure Bruce will be by with your breakfast soon. But I will see you later today, okay? I am going to get some more comfortable clothes for spending the nights."

For the first time I saw he was in his leather armor that he always wore. I was so used to seeing it that I hadn't even noticed. I actually blushed.

"I'm sorry Thor. I didn't think. You had to be so uncomfortable all night."

He did something that shocked me. He bent down and softly kissed my lips. "I never even noticed. But I would like something softer for you to be against as you sleep." He placed another soft kiss on my mouth and straightened up.

"Enjoy your breakfast and I will see you later, Ari."

I got over my shock and smiled and waved at him. "Bye, Thor."

He shot me a grin over his shoulder and walked out the door. I wandered to the window and looked out. I was on the second floor and the view was magnificent. I could see the field and the brook. I could watch the butterflies and gaze at the sunset. I was just too scared to go outside and see it up close.

I looked down and saw two familiar figures, sitting and watching. Loki and Bucky. They stared up at my window, hungry for even that glimpse of me. I had kept them away because I couldn't face them. Maybe in time. I watched as Thor stopped by them and spoke for several minutes. I saw them nod and slump a little. He probably told them I wasn't ready yet. I imagined that the news of Thor staying and me talking again would make the rounds. It was strange but I didn't feel quite as broken after Thor's visit. Maybe being by him would help me heal.