Chapter 75

Thor didn't say a word the entire time I talked. When I finished, I turned and found the great God of Thunder on his knees behind me, crying. I ran over to him. 

"Thor! What's wrong?"

He reached out and grabbed me and held me close.

"By Odin, that you experienced such pain. You were just playing Ariane. Loki and Bucky went too far. Even if they had been hurt by you making them think they failed you, they should not have shut you out, knowing what we know. They should never have left you feeling alone. I can understand why you did what you did."

He held me tight, and he cried with me. After a few moments, he leaned his forehead against mine.

"I am happy that I was able to bring you back together. To be the one that could heal you. That I am the one you feel safe with." He paused. "Do you want me to be here with you tomorrow?"

I desperately wanted to say yes but I knew I needed to see them alone. "No. I need to do this on my own. But… could you be close by? In case I need you? It'll help knowing you're close."

"Of course. I will do anything you need me to." He sighed. "I wish they were not your soulmates. Had they just been someone you cared about, knowing this story, I would try to push my case more. I want so much to make love to you, to show you truly how precious you are. I have faith that things will work out between you three and doing that with you would damage that. Just know that I am always there for you, anytime you need me."

I held him close, hearing his heart beating. I wished I had a third soulmate and that it was Thor. But I felt it would hurt his relationship with Loki to have sharing between brothers like that. 

"Let's go to bed. I'm worn out. I know tomorrow is going to be hard. I just want to take tonight to just cuddle with you. If by any miracle they decide they still want me, they'll have to live with my kissing you. I don't regret that one bit."

Thor smiled and I was happy to see it. I knew deep down this was all costing him. To love me like that and know he will never have me. It reminded me of Bucky. But I would have to see what tomorrow brought before I could make any decisions. We climbed into the bed and just held each other. I drifted off to sleep, knowing I was safe and loved.

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I was sitting nervously, twisting my hands. I wondered where my confident badass-self went. Probably down the drain. I watched as Thor got ready to leave. 

"Can you leave a change of clothes here? Just in case? Please?"

He smiled. "Of course. I am torn. Part of me hopes I won't need them and that you are happy again with them. The other part hopes to spend my night here. I know that's bad to hope for as it means you are hurt, but it means I can try to show you how loved you are."

I smiled. "I completely understand." I took a deep breath. "Can you tell them? That they can come up?"

"As you wish, My Lady." He even bowed.

I giggled. Seeing Thor bow was just strange. With a smile and a wink, he left to go downstairs. I walked to the window. They were there as usual. I watched as Thor went up to them. I gasped as his fist plowed into Loki's face, knocking him on his ass and shoving Bucky at his shoulders, knocking him over too. He must have been telling them he knew what happened. I swallowed. That was not my intention. I knew as a God Loki was harder to hurt but I didn't know how that worked when it was another God doing the hurting. I could see their faces look from him to me at the window as he told them I would see them now. 

I was surprised. I figured they would have rushed up. Instead, it took them a few minutes before they made their way to the house. I heard them on the stairs but just kept looking out the window. I heard my door open, and I heard them come into the room and shut the door. I still didn't turn around. Finally, with a sigh, I turned to look at them. My eyes widened.

They looked terrible. They had lost all color except for the growing bruise on Loki's cheek, their eyes had dark circles underneath them, showing how they hadn't been getting much sleep. I could tell they had lost weight too. My heart clenched. This was my fault. I walked closer to them as they watched me, not saying anything, not moving. It was as if they felt that if they spoke or moved, I would disappear. 

I stood right in front of them. I couldn't help it, but tears filled my eyes and spilled down my face. I saw the pain in their eyes as I started to cry. I bowed my head, and I dropped to my knees, a broken position. I heard their sharp intake of breath as my knees hit the floor. I couldn't face them. I slumped and whispered. 

"I am so sorry for coming into your lives. I knew I always brought people nothing but pain, but I was stupid to think that this time would be different. I never thought of you as playthings. Or meant to toy with your emotions. I just meant to tease you. The ice cream really wasn't that important.

 I'm sorry that I disrupted your lives and I beg you to forget I was ever here and go back to living your lives instead of being here. I know you feel guilty, but you shouldn't. This was completely my fault. I won't cause you any problems anymore, I promise. Somehow, I will find a way back to my realm and things will go back to how they were, as if I never existed here."

I couldn't speak anymore. I just sat there and cried. I waited for them to tell me how useless I was, how much of a waste of time I had been. I waited for them to leave. I knelt there, never moving other than crying, just waiting.

With a muffled sob, Loki dropped to his knees next to me. Seconds later Bucky did the same. Loki gently, with a shaking hand, lifted my chin to look at him. I flinched as I met his eyes. I knew I deserved every harsh thing he was going to say.