Chapter 38: Zoey

"Only if you promise to never die on me. I wouldn't survive losing you either."

"I can't predict the future, but I promise to do my absolute best to keep that promise."

He lifted his head and kissed the end of my nose and I laughed.

"There's my girl. I missed your smile. Now go do what Jer said. Go get something to eat and get some sleep. I'm gonna do the same, except I'm gonna have someone bring my food here. Ok, baby? Can you do that for me?"

I nodded and I gave him one last kiss before I stood back up. As I followed Jer out the door of Deke's room I looked back over my shoulder.

"I love you, Deacon Fisher. And I can't live without you."

"I love you too, Zoey Donovan. You are my heart, and I can't live without my heart."

I smiled and gently closed the door. I followed Jer down the stairs and into the kitchen where Ash was sitting with Jackson.

"Are you ok, sweetheart?"

I shook my head. 

"No. No I'm not."

Now that we were away from Deke's shifter hearing, I collapsed to my knees and the horror of the day hit me. The break-in, the kidnapping, the torture. It was so much in such a short time. I curled in on myself and cried, my hands covering my face. I felt someone sit beside me and pull me into their lap. I buried my face in their chest and let myself feel all the pain and terror from the last few days. And as I felt a second pair of arms close around me, I let all that pain and terror go. I let the tears wash it all away so that it wouldn't haunt me.

 "It's all going to be ok, sweetheart. I promise."

"We're here, love. And we aren't going anywhere."

I heard someone clear their throat.

"Um… I'm gonna go. I think we've got everything covered. And I'll let the guys know you still want the windows. I'm glad everything worked out and I'm sorry for causing a mess."

"It's not your fault, Jackson. It's ours. We should have told our mate everything about us instead of keeping her in the dark." Jer sounded so sad.

I heard the front door open and close as Jackson left the house. I felt Ash's hand rubbing up and down my back. I lifted my head and looked into his unique golden eyes.

"I love you, Asher Monroe. With all my heart."

He kissed my lips gently. 

"I love you too, Zoey."

I turned my head and looked into Jer's warm green eyes. He had a small smile on his face since he knew what I was going to say.

"I love you, Jericho Williams."

"I love you too, Zoe. But why the full names all of a sudden?"

"Because it's something very serious to me. I wanted you to know I see you, each of you, and love you. To me it just means more."

He grinned at me. 

"I understand that, love. Now what do you say we get up off the floor and we get some food in you."

"I'd say that's a great idea."

I let Ash help me stand, mindful of my leg and damaged hand, and I sat with him at the island. Jer brought over a plate for me that had a burger and fries from the local diner down the street. 

"We knew you loved Rosie's burgers so we figured that would be the best thing to help you settle from the day."

I took a huge bite and moaned. 

"You were so right. This tastes fucking amazing."

Ash smiled and watched me intently as I ate. I kept glancing up at him and Jer, a little unnerved by their focused attention.

"What? Why are you guys staring at me so intently for?"

Jer's voice was gruff as he answered.

"You left us today, Zoe. And then that psychopath took you. We thought you were lost to us forever but here you are. I think we're afraid to look away in case you disappear again. We can't lose you, love."

Ash spoke quietly.

"We wouldn't survive it any more than Deke would. You're our everything, Zoey. It was so hard just to function knowing you'd left us. And I swear my wolf's never been more pissed at me. He is still refusing to talk to me. It doesn't help that I was so messed up that I snapped at him earlier."

"You're lucky, Ash. Mine still hasn't stopped yelling and cussing at me for being a fucking moron."

"At least Deke's is being peaceful since he was the one to take out Wilmington and protect our mate. He didn't even get yelled at. His wolf understood why he hesitated. Lucky bastard."

I laughed and it seemed to lighten the mood in the kitchen.

"My poor mates. Let me reassure you AND your wolves that I promise to never leave like that again. I should have been thinking with my heart instead of just reacting and realized you would never purposely hurt me. Next time I feel hurt I promise to talk it out with you."

"Thank you. And you're exactly right love. We would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. No one is perfect so I'm sure we will hurt you by accident, just as you will hurt us by accident. What matters is that we keep in mind how much we love each other and that together we can overcome anything."

"We've laid all our cards on the table, sweetheart. It's up to you what you do with them now. You have all the power. You can stay with us or leave us. We won't hold you here if you don't want to be."

"I want to be here. I want to be with you. I need all of you. And I already know what I'm gonna do. I'm going to stay and keep you. Forever, until my last breath." 

I looked down and was surprised to find all my food was gone. I looked and they'd finished eating too. 

"Do we have a plate for Deke?"

"Absolutely, love. I was about to take it up to him. I was letting him rest for a bit."

"Can I take it? And can you both come with me? I have something to say to all three of you. Something very important."

"Certainly, sweetheart. But should we be worried?"

"Nope. Nothing bad. I promise."

Ash nodded and we all stood up. Jer handed me Deke's plate from the warmer and together we all went up to his room. Quietly I opened his door. He was asleep and I tiptoed into the room and stood by his bed. Now that I wasn't terrified that he was going to die on me, I could admire how peaceful he looked when he was asleep. His handsome face was relaxed, and I realized how much tension he carried in his face when he was awake. He looked almost innocently boyish now. His brown hair was spread out on his pillow in a silken cloud, the red highlights making it such a warm color. My eyes trailed down his muscled arms that I knew were so strong yet held me with such tenderness. I watched the gentle rise and fall of that chiseled chest and delicious abs. These men were seriously perfect with all the firm and toned muscles they had. And I loved nothing more than to watch them flex and move.