Chapter 5

How to stop talking badly to yourself:

Obstacles that are beyond our control are a natural part of life: our birth circumstances, unforeseeable events, unexpected emergencies, etc. But there are certain things we can influence, like our thinking and our self-care practices. There are already enough challenges in life; we don't need to add to them or cause ourselves any more suffering. Giving yourself a break is one thing you can do for yourself that will benefit you much without costing you a dime. It's critical to limit negative thoughts and sentiments since they cause a great deal of harm, both visible and invisible. Although it's much easier to say than do, here are 

some strategies to assist you to stop self-talk and unfavorable thoughts:

Breathe: Being overwhelmed, having just failed, or being paralyzed by fear are some major reasons why individuals beat themselves up and feel horrible about themselves. It's crucial to stop and take a deep breath during these times. It will help you relax and gain some perspective, which will lower your heart rate. Stop and take a deep breath if you find yourself thinking negatively or feeling anxious or agitated.

When you see that you're beginning to spiral downward and give in to your negative thoughts, admit it. Negative ideas won't go away if you ignore them. Before you can tackle them, you must first acknowledge them. It's difficult to admit you have concerns, are fearful, or have reasons to be worried, but until you do, you will never be able to truly put them to rest.

Think about the cause: Where do these ideas come from? Do you feel fear? Do you have any self-doubt? Have you recently had a significant failure that has damaged your confidence? Do you feel depressed? Why do these nagging thoughts keep coming up and why do they stop you? Spend some time examining the source of these thoughts and challenging them. Assuage your fears if you're afraid. They most likely exist solely in your head. Say to yourself that everyone fails and that the only way to show yourself that you can do this is to start working if you are having self-doubt. Take into account the causes of these ideas so you can deal with them and attempt to silence them.

Stop Expecting Perfection: When you are first starting, don't expect perfection. Try reminding yourself it's OK to fail if you are restarting after a significant failure or you are experiencing self-doubt. Since nobody is flawless, don't expect perfection. Failure and flaws are inevitable parts of life, and if you accept them and move on, you'll be happier and more self-assured. It's ok to make errors; just get back on your horse and keep moving forward.

Surround Yourself With Positive Things: Play a playlist that gets you moving and in a good mood, watch a movie that inspires you, listen to a podcast or YouTube video of a coach, writer, or speaker who motivates and validates you, or call a friend or family member who always knows what to say 

when you're having a bad day. Encourage yourself when you're low. Recognize what elevates your disposition and frame of mind so you may alter it. Know what to do to alter your thoughts when they are not helpful to you. Your thoughts are not beyond your control.

Create a Schedule: If you have a routine, your day will require less thought, which will save you time and energy. Working through negative ideas is the greatest way to move past them, and working through them is made simpler if your day is planned out and you don't have to worry about how to get started. If you get up at the same time every day, have the same breakfast, exercise at the same time, leave the house and get to work at the same time, you won't overthink things or become bogged down in your thoughts. You will naturally increase the occasion of each day if you regard tasks like leaving for work at a specific time, exercising, and eating like appointments. Create a habit that will help you start your day and push away negative thoughts even if you are experiencing self-doubt or dread. Routines help people push through these emotions.

Decide In Advance To Silence Those Thoughts: It will be challenging at first. It will be tempting to give the negative voices and thoughts the chance to dominate as they usually have, but resist the urge and confront them by coming up with a counter-narrative in your head. Remember to breathe, to surround yourself with positive people, and to constantly remind yourself of the progress you've made if you're feeling doubtful or like you can't do anything.