A Mother's Diary

21XX AE

[Happiness]

[Memories of those times are forever ingrained in my mind as those feelings of bliss always filled my heart with warmth.]

"Mommy! I'm going to leave you behind if you don't hurry up!"

"Mav! Stop running before you run into someone!"

A women holding onto a child close to her chest, reached her arm towards a young boy who ran towards the busy crowd

Her surroundings were filled with houses made out of wood for walls and leaves for roofs to protect them from the warm sun shining onto them.

A few wooden stalls showed people bartering for the freshest fruits their village had to offer in hopes to catch the eyes of the passing public.

"Ooff!"

"Opps opps. You should be careful where you're going young man."

The man the boy ran into didn't seem to mind since despite the stern gaze, he grinned at seeing the face of a familiar person. 

Behind the boy was the woman who was running after her son seeing that he crashed into a bulky man who gave a toothy smile advising him of his actions.

"Uncle…"

"Solar..how…are you doing..?"

The bulky man gradually saw the image of a familiar looking woman reaching over to the young boy. Just thinking about what recently happened to her, his eyes showed a variety of complicated emotions.

Solar saw the face of the man who she called uncle and instead of showing any sort of weakness regarding her situation, she showed him a faint smile instead.

"Uncle, stop making that sort of face. Lily is going to grow up and think that her great uncle is some sort of grouch."

She tiled the child that hung near her bosom and showed the face of her daughter to the man.

Solar brushed the hair of her daughter and looked at her with gentle eyes.

"I'm okay. It might have been sudden but I need to be strong for my children like how he used to be. He would have wanted me to do the same..."

"Solar…"

A slight quiver in her voice was something she was unable to hide but the stare she showed him revealed the silent decisions she alone had made just for the wellbeing of her children.

The man clenched his fist seeing the eyes her niece showed him and felt like she had grown stronger from the result of her loss.

"Just remember that you can always ask for help whenever you feel burdened, alright."

"Of course. I only know one person who could handle this rascal so I will count on you when the time comes."

Solar rubbed the head of her son who fidgeted seeing that his mother was talking about him.

The man let out one last sigh before he showed his niece a faint smile and brought the small family to his stall where he had a display of fruits on standby.

"Hey.. did you hear about the rumor that the old tombstone behind the abandoned house is able to grant your wishes?"

"Hogwash. I tried going there earlier to try and cure the pain in my back but it never even glowed like what the rumors pointed it out to be."

Near the stall, Solar turned her head as she overheard the conversation of the two men talking about some sort of rumor.

"Tsk. Those baseless rumors again…"

"What are they talking about?" Solar asked her Uncle as these types of things usually never rile him up. 

"It's nothing, you don't need to worry about it. Just take some of these fruits and ignore whatever those fools say."

The man handed Solar a bag of his items for free and tried to divert her attention elsewhere.

[Although I tried to hide it, I was also curious about what those men were saying.]

[Wish]

[I had many wishes when I was younger. Such as eating lots of treats that my parents tried to hide from me to wearing the prettiest dresses I saw at stores every time I walked by the market.]

[But when my first son came into the world all my wishes faded away and instead were filled with the hopes that my children would have their wishes fulfilled instead.]

"Mommy can I go outside with some friends?"

"It looks like it's about to rain though…"

Solar, who was folding clothes inside her home, looked outside the window and noticed the gray clouds filling up the bleak sky.

"My friend's brother said that he wanted to show me something at his house so we're not going outside to play! I will also come back home early since it will be just for a quick second."

"Hmm…"

Solar fell into thought as she debated whether or not to allow permission with her son's request.

'He's been energetic but I can feel that he's always being mindful whenever he requests something from me…' Solar looked at her son gently and brushed her hand through his hair.

"Alright but be sure to not cause any trouble. Oh, and when you start to see rain I want you to come home right away."

"Okay. Thanks mommy!"

The boy ran out the door seeing that he got permission from his mother and rushed towards the house of his friend.

[If only I knew…]

[I would have hugged his body and kissed his face one more time.] 

"He should be here by now…"

Solar looked out the window and noticed the heavy downpour of rain which aggressively crashed against her window.

She began to walk in circles trying to calm her anxious heart which scared her quite a bit.

Tapping her finger into the corner of her crossed arm, she finally grabbed onto her jacket to see if she could quickly find her son amidst the heavy rain.

However as she was about to open the door, a large banging appeared at her door.

"Solar!"

"Uncle? What's wrong?"

The man saw that his niece wore her jacket and a devastating feeling entered his already heavy heart.

"..Mav got into an accident near–…"

As soon as she heard the first few parts of his sentence, she bolted out the door running mindlessly as she calmed her beating heart from breaking.

'Please if a higher entity exists… please protect my son..' 

Solar ran around the town with no shoes calling out the name of her son hoping that she could hear his usual energetic voice that she had always remembered.

But reality can often be disappointing.

[I still remember his haggard voice saying that he was sorry as he layed in bed with a missing arm. It was said that he was caught up by the intense currents of a river near his friends house but I chose to believe it was something else.]

[He visited the tombstone behind the abandoned building.]

[He was swayed by the rumors of that wretched 'wish'.]

[He had hoped that he could 'wish' me something to help ease my hidden sadness. The pain in his voice as he apologized still… ]

"I.. think it would be best if you came over and stayed with us…"

"...."

The man looked at his niece who returned silence to his question and saw how she caressed the hair of her youngest.

The man clenched his fist and wondered if the world really wanted to see this woman suffer.

"I will be there back at my place, alright."

The man hugged Solar one last time before he closed the door and allowed the woman to be with her thoughts.

She looked outside the window and saw the increasing amount of rain pouring outside and vividly remembered the scene from that day.

"...Just leave my family alone….please…"

[The days continued and the rain from that day still hadn't stopped. Hours turned into days and it turned into weeks where the sounds of rain hitting my roof began to drive me crazy.]

"Do you think the rain is going to stop?"

"I'm not too sure. But I hope it does, I heard more and more incidents have begun to appear and I wish that things would calm down soon…"

"How about going to the tombstone and wishing for the rain to disappear."

"Go ahead if you want to be like those victims who perished in that flood." 

The anxious voices surrounding the weather reached the ears of Solar who gripped onto the bag of groceries that she had bought for her daughter.

Walking a few steps to a house that was different from her own, she opened the door and noticed her aunt and uncle playing with her daughter.

"We should start saving our supplies for now. Some of our crops have been flooded and we still don't know when this rain is going to hold on for."

"I also think that we should. We have a few more people to feed so…"

The man paused his words when he noticed Solar entering the door to his house.

"Uncle, aunt, I got some groceries for today." She showed them a faint smile as she raised the bag in her hands.

"Thanks and I was wondering where you went today."

A kind woman went towards Solar and took the bags off her hands and helped her get the jacket off her body.

"I wanted to get a change of scenery."

Solar quietly said the last bit of her sentence as she picked up her daughter that was smiling happily at her.

She watched the warmth her daughter was able to give despite the heavy feeling weighing on her heart and just decided to hug her tightly.

'I only have you now…'

[The sight of my only child smiling at me and relatives helping in my time of need filled my heart with warmth.]

[But anxious thoughts fill my head each passing second every time I hear the sound of rain dropping right in front of me.]

[It caused me anguish as I slept, ate or even when I was sitting in silence.]

[The rain annoyed me.]

[I wanted to get rid of it. Then I remembered the ramblings of strangers each time I passed the market. The 'wish'.]

[I tried to resist the temptations but as each day passed I wasn't able to bear it any longer.]

"So it was you.."

Solar gave out a tired breath as she used her knees to support her tired body.

The trip to the tombstone was just as she had heard. Long and muddy alongside a heavy current that seemed to cause trouble to anyone who wanted to cross.

But after finding a few paths and enduring a few injuries, she was finally able to see the object that was subjected to many rumors.

A bright golden light seemed to caressed the outline of the tombstone, inciting anyone to come near its warm light.

"I know I might be crazy but just stop…" Solar's trembling hands reached towards the tombstone as he legs finally gave out.

"JUST STOP THIS RAIN! MAKE IT DISAPPEAR SO I DON'T HEAR IT ANYMORE." 

"It took the life of my son and now I'm worried it will do the same to my daughter and more of my kind relatives…"

"..so please stop…"

A shout that was almost close to a cry for help pierced the humid air as Solar tried her best to grasp any straws that would help alleviate her heavy heart.

{...I.. understand..}

[Once I heard the voice I was stunned to my soul and wondered if my wish would be finally answered.]

[And it was.]

[The previously covered sky began to show its blue color and the sound of rain finally ended which created a genuine smile on my face after a long time.]

[I went home and hugged my daughter tightly, happy to see that my anxious feelings can finally rest.]

[But that was just my wishful thinking.]

[How I wish I could turn back time and stop my actions from happening.]

"Lily, come have some water."

Solar gestured to her daughter as sweat began to drip down her face.

The day following her wish was like a tale out of a story. Each passing hour was like a dream. As if her life was dyed in bright colors once again.

However this thought ended as the price of her wish had truly begun to show itself. The lush green trees and fertile land began to crumble as crops withered and dried up.

And not a single drop of water fell from the sky.

"Luckily we still have some barrels of water with us from the rain so we have some sort of supply of water."

"I think we should harvest some of the crops before they get ruined and dry up."

Solar continued to give her daughter some water and quietly listened to the voices of both her aunt and uncle.

Days continued to pass and the overall condition turned for the worse. The heat continued to rise and people began to find it hard to sustain themselves.

"It will be alright… I will get you something to eat, okay. So don't worry.."

"Okay papa…"

Shielding her face from the intense sun, Solar returned home listening to the voices appearing around her.

Families eventually began to run out of food while water supplies began to sink to an all time low.

Solar returned to the tombstone in hopes to reverse the root of her desperate wish but to no avail, the tombstone didn't utter a single word since that time.

[I regret that wish so much…]

[I just wanted to save my family from future trouble but instead I circulated my pain to others.]

[Lily began to suffer due to the lack of food and water while I tried my best to provide supplies for her. Leaving only a minuscule amount for me.]

[My uncle was also able to give food but a severe heat stroke eventually struck her as the heat from the sun affected her health.]

[Then… she.. eventually…]

{I watched my entire world crumble before me while hearing fragments of the losses families had…]

[Because of me.]

[Maybe by writing this diary I will give myself a sort of satisfaction or relief for my actions but maybe I just wanted a place where I could remember the past without looking at the present.]

['Wishes' may be the word that I absolutely despise but…]

[I wish that I could help the poor families that were affected by my selfish wish.]

"Solar…"

Solar's uncle peaked through the gap of her door and saw the image of a woman who only had the eyes of a dead woman who lost everything.

The sound of a pencil continued to scratch through the blank sheet of paper as it seemed like it was the only thing keeping her alive.

"How is she..?"

"....."

The man's silence answered his wife's question as she looked sadly through the gap of the door.

"What should we do?" The wife asked and watched as the man gently closed the door to allow his niece to be at peace.

"I will band the remaining people who can still work and prevent any more deaths. We still have some rations of dried fruit that we can give and I also found some plants that can give water if we open them."

The man moved down the steps towards his basement and began to pack some dried fruit inside a bag.

"I will not allow anyone else to suffer like my niece."

The man's determined eyes shined as he walked out the door and went to his neighbor to explain his objective.

"Sure I'm all in for it. Do you have a name we can use to help band people together?"

"Do we really need one?"

"I would think having one would help spread the word faster instead of just saying that a few people are trying to help each other."

The man listened to his neighbors words and rubbed his scruffy chin as a name slowly began to form.

"..Solar..ian…"

Thinking of his niece, the man uttered these words.

"Let's name it Solarian."

***

"....."

Yuuto stood still as his eyes stared at the last line of text he had uncovered using [Clarity].

As he read this diary, flashes of memories continued to enter his mind as if he was experiencing a [Core Memory].

It felt the same but was vastly different at the same time.

"Hey! Did you do something right now!? The parameters are going off like crazy?!"