Chapter Twenty three

Lucky you. You

hadn't forgotten, had you?"

'No, I hadn't forgotten, he said, turning her face

towards his so that his silver gaze was on a collision

course with hers. 'But right now, the thought of ski-

ing is less appealing than taking you back to bed for

the rest of the day.

"Making the most of the few hours we have left,

you mean?" she questioned brightly.

"No. Not just that.

His voice had hardened and Sophie screwed up

her nose in confusion. What, then?"

Mas shook his head. He'd tried to blot it out. To

make like it didn't matter, but he was discovering that

this new yearning deep inside him did matter. And

maybe it would always matter unless he did some-

thing about it. So do it. Do it now. He cleared his

throat. 

"What if I came up with an alternative solu-

tion? Something which meant you wouldn't have to

go back to your old life. A solution which might suit

both our...needs?"

She stared at him.I don't understand.'

"Then hear me out. He paused. I've been doing

some thinking. In fact, a lot of thinking. About some-

thing Ambrose said to me at the christening.

He met the question in her black eyes as the enor-

mity of what he was about to do hit him and his heart

clenched with something like pain as he realised he

was on the verge of doing what he'd spent his life

trying to avoid. But even the fear wasn't enough to

stop

him. He remembered holding his little nephew.

The warmth and milky smell of him. The curly hair 

which had Most of all, he

brushed against his cheek.

He remembered the sudden rush of yearning which had

flooded through him and the realisation that having

a child would be the only way he could beal

heal the scar

of his past. 'My father asked who I was going to leave

my fortune to and I told him that I was planning for

it to go to charity, he said. "But in that moment I realised that I wanted what I'd never had."

'I don't understand,' she whispered.

There was another pause before he said it. Words

he knew would create a line in the sand which he

could never step back from.

'A family, he said. 'A real family.

She leaned forward, her hand reaching out to take

one of his. Tell me,' she whispered.

And suddenly Massimo needed no prompting. He felt

her fingers curling around his. Heard the loud beat

of his heart. And the words just came tumbling out.

Although I come from a big family, I grew up not

knowing my brothers or sister. My father kicked my

mother out because of her behaviour and as a conse-

quence, she and I were estranged from the rest of the

Carter clan for years."

Because of her behaviour?"

His mouth twisted. Just how

prepared to be, Toyin? How easily do you shock? My

mother liked men. She liked them a lot. More than

anything else. There was a pause and his mouth fl

tened. Much more than me.'

"Oh, Massi" 

He shook his head to silence her.

 she wasn't looking for a replacement husband 

because her divorce payment had set her up nicely. 

 Her idea of fun was having the freedom to

ensnare some hot young lover.

She nodded, as if she was absorbing his words.

'And what happened to you, while she was doing

that?"

He shrugged. I used to sit alone in hotel suites,' he

said. 

"Watching as she appeared in the tightest dress

she could get away with-usually with her second or

third martini in her hand. Sometimes she would come

back that night, but often she didn't show up until the

morning. I can't count the number of strange men I

encountered the next day amid the empty champagne

bottles and cigarette butts. His words grew reflective.

'Most kids hate being sent away to boarding school,

but you know something? I loved it because it was

safe and ordered and structured. It was the holidays

I dreaded.'

'Of course you did,' she said, her gaze meeting his.

'But why are you telling me all this?

He didn't look away, just stared straight into her

bright, black eyes. 'Because when I held Nick and

Molly's little boy in my arms, I realised what I'd been

missing. I realised I wanted what I'd never had. A

family of my own.' His voice deepened. And I think

I could have one with you."

Toyin's heart began to pound, not sure whether to

feel elated or confused. Dared she hope that his feel-

ings had been changing, too? Was he hinting at the

kind of future she had secretly started to wish for?

Oh, please, she prayed. Please. "Me?"

He nodded. "Yes, you. You told me you'd like a

family one day, well, so would I. You told me all the

Reasons that might not happen and I'm giving you all.

I can't offer you love, but

pragmatic woman. You told me you didn't love Dam

maybe that isn't necessary since you obviously recognise that arranged marriages

can and do work.

"Did you say marriage?" she echoed cautiously.