"You okay boss?"
"Yea, just let me sit down for a bit."
I had a tear running down my eye, that wasn't even my own. Sitting down near a campfire we cleared several more islands, but near the end we had to stop before finishing the island we were currently on. I couldn't continue and we stopped for the day, without any complaints. My body was fine, it was the inside that was eating me alive.
'Stop making me feel bad for killing the damn creatures! I don't give a crap about them! Stop these damn perverted visions in my head, I can't take it much longer.'
Now every single time I killed a creature guilt filled my chest, and I almost began to sob then and there. To make it worse I even felt an odd urge to disrobe and just embrace one, like some perverted streaker. The emotions were blocking even rational thinking at times, almost like ear deafening static noise filling my head.
'That new urge is the real problem.'
Different from before when I saw them creatures running at me jackin it feeling a sense of disgust, now I got excited as well. A few times I even caught myself grinding up against my armor suit below, only for me to snap awake from it. It was a constant struggle, even thinking about them got me excited now.
'What in the world is she doing to my head, making me sexually excited for a monkey looking creature?! Is this a prank, like a joke to mock me?'
It didn't make any sense, she didn't know me nor did I ever harm her. She might just be a sadistic person getting high off the idea of throwing me to literal animals, while pretending to be a savior. Nothing practical came to mind for warping my head like a toy, maybe if she made me want to give her stuff but this was just bizarre.
'She is one serious freak, instead of using it to enrich herself she abused the system for her demented pervasion. She probably has some way to watch me right now, and is gloating at my changes.'
The good thing was besides the twisted up feeling for the monsters, I remained normal everywhere else. Nothing like forgetting my own name, or what my goals are. It was all there, even my deep hatred for that bitch. After waiting until they all slept, I was able to slip out of my armor without anyone noticing. I was only wearing my bikini outfit under the armor because it wasn't comfortable for long periods with more stuff in it.
Crawling away as sneaky as I could be, I went to wash up a little on the beach. Getting some fresh air and something to eat besides snacks stuffed into the armor, but I noticed it. Something was watching me on the beach, and it was getting closer.
Instincts like I never felt before from the changes of my body let me know exactly where it was, a little far into the bushes behind camp.
'One of those creatures no doubt about it, and it's sneaky.'
Getting away from the beach, I also snuck around the gang trying to get behind the creature. Trying to keep it away from the camp I stayed a little more distance away to pull it away, and it spotted me doing so. Instantly changing demeanor I saw it go from violent looking to just horny like the other ones.
'I will kill it and go to bed.'
Waiting by a spot that was far enough away to not make any noise to wake anyone, I silently got ready to kill it. Inconveniently a cloud covered the moon blocking the only light, and I couldn't see it anymore. Only my instinct warned me it was nearby, with a hair raising alarm running through me.
'It's close.'
Trying to get a better angle to see, I stuck my head out low of my hiding spot in a bush. Startled to see it directly in front of me, I gasped a little in shock. But that was a fatal mistake, as I felt it lunge at my head. Something was shoved directly into my mouth muffling my words, while a pair of arms and legs clenched onto my head like for dear life.
'Get it off! Get it off! Go away… Wait, it's not so bad.'
Just before I could bite down the mind effect hit me, and all my resistance stopped. Inside even my anger was gone, just the sensation of something being shoved deeper into my throat remained. My body fell backwards into the bush, and an explosion of liquid filled my mouth.
'It's delicious? what is this?'
The mind altering effect wasn't going away, and I felt it getting excited on my face. Constantly going up and down, and releasing more into my mouth with me swallowing it down mindlessly. One hand of mine went down below stimulating while another was rubbing my nipples. Time seemed to be slipping by and before I knew it, the thing got off my face and ran away into the jungle.
'....'
Coating my entire mouth in semen, even my face was covered in it. My tongue kept swallowing it down like an addict looking for her hit. My head slowly cleared up and I realized what just happened. Nothing, Nothing was all I could think, all I could do, and even what I am now.
'I don't want to live anymore.'
*******************************************************************************************
"Don't you guys think the boss is a little strange today?"
"Yea, he isn't speaking. He just rips apart everything he sees."
"I saw him stomp on the monkey like creature until it was unrecognizable, he is seriously pissed."
Nobody knew what happened last night, just one thing was clear. The boss was enraged, enraged like he hasn't been in a long time. Silently he just led everyone to the next island and reached the magic circle until he did it again, like a machine almost. Nobody was complaining really, since he was doing way more of their work getting to the magic circle.
"Still even if he hates this situation, he can't be like this."
"Yea someone needs to chat with him, otherwise we will all die."
"I ain't doing it, you do it."
The idea the boss was needed to survive was something they hadn't developed coming here, it was what kept them safe in the worst parts of the ghetto. Their boss was many things but a coward he wasn't, the other so called gang leaders couldn't even lift their face up and say they did half the things boss did for their sake. Everything from armed robbery to car jacking, he did it all to look after them.
"What you think he is? A woman needing to vent her feelings? He is a man, just leave him alone."
"Sounds like a good idea."
Nodding along nobody realized the boss actually did need to vent feeling about what happened last night. Instead of thinking about what happened all their effort was put into getting more points.
'Even this is becoming pointless, there is no way to return to normal is there?'
I felt my past self disappearing, especially experiencing last night. The benefits of the event became apparent quickly, the amount of points needed to break free decreased massively. It was equivalent to two whole days of capturing islands. Just all of it went directly into my body and mind.
'If I abuse this system I can get stronger… No! I am a man! I will not cave, and do something like that ever again! Any further can be dangerous!'
Just thinking about it made me subconsciously rub against the rim of the metal armor I was wearing. Pulling myself off it, my body was reluctant to stop. All the conflicting thoughts only made me more violent then ever against every single creature I saw, as if trying to purge the thoughts out of me.
After getting the magic circle I couldn't help myself anymore and checked why I gained so much after what happened last night. I had to learn why exactly, even if it was something I would never consider doing again. It was the same area I once checked and refused to look further, just this time I had to know.
'I get points for sexually pleasing monsters and people?'
It went down into detail for everything sexual, from swallowing or not, consensual vs rape even if they were fully satisfied. I closed it up and decided to look into it more tonight.