Chapter 17

Alice

It was the most painful thing I'd ever had since I was being attacked by Roman. I never thought that transforming things would feel like hell. It felt like my body was torn into pieces, my skin shattered, and sharp knives clawed their way out of my body.

I gave up. My body reached its limit and I couldn't feel anything other than a blackout. I heard Harvey scream in panic though. Calling my name and his footsteps came towards me.

And so, it was the second time I fainted like a weakling. No, I didn't want to be the pick me and act like a damsel in distress. But what could I do anyway? I never had a strong body to begin with. And every change happened to me at a very rapid pace. So fast to the point, I couldn't catch up.

I didn't know how long I had been passing out. I woke up and blinked my eyes a few times. That cream-colored ceiling again. I must be in our bedroom now. I looked around and found Harvey sitting next to me. His face was painted with worry and anxiety. And I couldn't help but feel guilty for him.

I caused any problem again.

I had become a burden for him again.

And I couldn't prove my worth again.

"Harvey," I called him quietly.

He lifted his head and his smile grew when both of our eyes met. He stroked my cheek softly while staring deep down into my eyes.

"You awake?"

I nodded.

"What do you feel now, Baby?" He asked me carefully.

I rose from the bed and tried to sit on it. My back was leaned on the headboard and both of my arms rested on my thigh.

"I'm okay, Harvey. I think it was just a simple shock I had earlier."

He shook his head.

"It wasn't. The transforming process is indeed painful, Alice. I also felt it too in the first few times."

I stared at him in disbelief. I thought it was only me who was the loser and pathetic being. But turned out, that bearing immense pain is a normal phase of becoming a werewolf.

"How can you do it if it was this painful?" I asked curiously.

He chuckled and smiled.

"I guess I got accustomed to it. As time goes by, something that felt painful at first didn't feel much later, Baby. And I believe it will be the same for you."

Ah, really? Is that so? I want to give it a try though. But my fear of that enormous torment overwhelmed me. I was too afraid to step out of my comfort zone and be too comfortable hiding behind Harvey.

What a coward am I?

"Do you want to try it again? I will help you this time." He tried to persuade me.

I shook my head.

"I didn't think I was ready for this, Harvey. Not now. Can we stop with this training for a while? I'm..."

I went silent for a beat. Harvey shifted my face towards him.

"You what?"

"I am afraid. I don't care if you will call me a coward or whatever. I'm not ready yet to be anything Elliott expects me to be, Harvey. So please, don't push me, huh?"

He looked shocked for a second. Then Harvey quickly masked his disappointment with a smile.

"Well, it's okay, Baby. You don't have to feel burdened about being the Luna. I won't leave you whether you're a proper Luna or not."

I stared at him with utmost sincerity. I didn't know when it started, but Harvey's words could always keep me at ease. Calmed me down in some sort of strange way.

Maybe that's how the bond between mates worked.

Or maybe it was just because I found my peace every time I was with him.

Or maybe, I simply fell in love too deeply for him.

Him. My mate. Harvey Adkins.

***

Harvey asked me to go training with him. His usual morning round with only the two of us, he said.

I quickly agreed to join him. Because why not? I love being around him and a little bit of exercise wouldn't hurt me either. Hell, I would even do any form of training ng that was indeed more tiring as long as I wasn't being forced to turn into a wolf.

Anything is fine other than that. I would try to stray so far from the need to transform. Because the pain was still fresh in my mind and I didn't intend to revisit that memories back.

No, thank you.

Besides, there was nothing more intimate than doing a workout with your loved one. It was a perfect bonding time for us.

Killing two stones with one bird, right?

So, he woke me up with his gentle kiss at 5 AM. I groaned lazily and looped my arms around his body while mumbling incoherent words.

"Come on, Baby. Didn't you say that it would be fun? That it will be the perfect quality time for us?" He asked me while holding back his laugh.

I opened my eyes slowly and saw Harvey staring deep into my eyes. His lips curved into a loving smile.

"I did? It's definitely not me, Harvey. Maybe it was my wolf that was talking to you." I joked while grabbing my blanket again.

He laughed and moved on top of me - trapping my body underneath his.

"Or do you need morning sex to wake you up? I'm more than willing to do that, though."

I could feel the heat crawling on my cheeks. No, although morning sex sounded hella good, it wasn't the right moment. I wasn't the type of person who liked to do a quickie. And being chased by a tight schedule meant our morning session would only last a few minutes. A quickie that I didn't need right now.

Damn, I hate to admit that I was too attached to him and I wanted to make each of our sex last as long as possible.

"No! I don't want a quick morning round now." I screamed and hid under the cover but Harvey kept teasing me with his kisses.

"Or perhaps you want Elliott who trained you instead?"

Elliott? That cruel old man who acted like a winning war veteran? The merciless wolf who was sitting as an elder? Damn, I'd rather be meeting Roman than him. Or not Roman, maybe my old boss would sound better.

"No! Please not Elliott!" I shouted in a loud yell while quickly rising from my sleep.

My eyes suddenly wide opened when I heard his name. A strange fear started taking over me to the point I gladly jumped out of bed to get ready.

"I'll be finished in fifteen-no, ten minutes! Just please don't bring Elliott to this thing, Harvey."

I immediately sprinted to the bathroom and get ready while Harvey was laughing his ass off because of my panic. Maybe he thought I looked so ridiculous while running to the bathroom without any clothes on.

Shit, I needed to get a hold of myself better.

***

A morning routine with Harvey meant one-hour jogging in the cold weather, a two-hour physical training with weight, and another bodyweight exercise that I didn't know how long it would last. Maybe till the lunch ringing. Or maybe until he felt bored and not tired.

The first two hours were my maximum limit. I could keep up with him in the morning jog. It was an easy peasy task because I sometimes did it too. We jogged beside each other while throwing jokes or stories occasionally. But the weather was really cruel this morning.

How the fuck he could stand doing a run on a winter morning? The temperature was hitting minus and we should be sprinting like it was the funniest activity in the world.

But okay, I could still take it. Besides, Harvey would occasionally hug me or hold my hand while we were jogging at the park. And he was doing that while all giggly like a cute foolish dog.

"Let's walk from here, Baby."

I looked at him with a confused look.

"Why? You're tired?" I asked.

He shook his head while smiling.

"I'm not. But I know you are. And I think it will be nice to walk while holding hands like a couple in a movie."

He took my hand and held it tightly. Then he put my hand into his pocket because my hand felt like a piece of ice in the freezer.

For the whole eighteen years of my life, I could swear to God this was the first time I met a man that is so strong yet so gentle at the same time. Harvey, indeed, was built like a gladiator. Six feet tall and muscular body. His arms even felt stronger when he carried me to the bed the bathroom, or wherever he wanted.

But he always touched me in an extremely gentle way. He liked to caress me softly like I was a baby. As if he tried so hard to not hurt me and saw me like a precious fragile doll.

I wouldn't complain though. I had been living a miserable life so being treated like this by someone I love was a dream come true for me.

"Are your feet hurt?" He asked me suddenly.

I glanced at my perfectly fine feet and shook my head.

"I don't think so. I walked fine though."

He shook his head as a sign of disapproval.

"I think it looked painful, Baby."

Then he suddenly picked me up and carried me in a bridal-style way. I screamed a bit out of surprise and he laughed his heart out.

"Harvey! Put me down! People are watching us!"

He took a glance at a few pack members who happened to do morning strolls like us.

"Nah, they will understand that I was just trying to take care of their Luna."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"I think you're just making excuses so you can carry me this way, huh?"

He landed a kiss on my lips and smiled while on it.

"And it worked, right?"

He took me in his arms to the park before I urged him to let me down. We had arrived at the roadside and there were even more pair of eyes who stared at us. And no, I wouldn't be involved in any public display of affection no matter what.

No matter how hot and steamy our relationship is, we should keep it moderate and child-friendly in the eyes of the public. I didn't want the pack to see us as a pair of dogs who were in heat and couldn't resist each other so much.

After twenty minutes of walking, we finally arrived at the training camp. No, training ground to be exact. And my eyes went wide when I saw the countless obstacles in front of my eyes.

"They looked hard," I whispered.

"They do. But that is the point of strength training, right?"

And just like a child in a playground, Harvey pulled me very cheerfully. This place was his favorite and he also wanted me to feel like one.

I also looked like a child. But instead of having fun in the playground, I looked more like a kid who was being dragged into a dentist. All pale and drenched with cold sweat.

Oh, God. Should I escape from here?