chapter 11... I promise I changed

I'm ashamed but happy. Why?

We did the dance and my heart nearly exploded. "well done guys... I have to use the restroom." It's not what you're thinking. Wait! What are you guys thinking? I'm innocently feeling pressed.

"Do you need me to come with?" What in tarnation is wrong with Yeol? "NO!" I brought out my cellphone and hit voice record button. "Say shit and I'll take this to the police and sue you"

"I was trying to follow the order from mom" He defended like an innocent little puppy which is cute by the way. I put my phone back in my pocket and walked away.

No response is better for anyone named Hanyeol. I was on my way to the restroom when a senior walked to me and said I had someone waiting for me at the gate. My curiosity kicked in and I went out only to see my mom's ex also known as Mr. Kim Johan.

Giving a scowl, I turned to leave when he spoke. "I heard you danced... good job" I scoff in response and decided to give him a chance to talk "What do you want with me?"

"I know I hurt you and your mom but I promise I've changed. I don't expect forgiveness but I wish to have you around to celebrate my birthday" He looked pitiful so I agreed. "one hour and you drop me back at school"

"Thank you so much Yul" We entered his car and drove off. Out first stop was a pastry shop that I love, it was part of my childhood. We got a cake and some snacks. "Where else do you want to go?" I asked.

"To get lunch" He replied with a smile before driving towards his house. "I thought you wanted lunch?" I questioned with anger visible in my voice.

"I'm making lunch at home. Trust me I'll take you back."

We drove back to the house. I promised myself never to come back to this place but here I am in this hellhole. For some reason I felt scared, my eyes were getting all glossy from the tears welling up in them. I never wanted to be alone with him after what happened.

Flashback

(TW: Domestic violence, verbal abuse, sexual assault. If you know you went through these, you can talk to me and I'm sorry if it happens to trigger any bad memories)

"Miran! You stupid bitch!" The voice of the devil who turned out to be my dad, echoed i through the house. He's at it again. He does his daily routine. First gets drunk, then he hit my mom and afterwards I get hit but today was going to be different from other days, mom had to go visit grandma and somehow she was forced to stay the night. I'm alone tonight.

"Good evening father..." It's better to hide your fear in front of the devil. My father glared at me. "where's that bitch of a woman?"

I took deep breaths and replied my father calmly. "She went to visit grandma and she'll be back tomorrow. I'll do the chores in her stead." He smirked at me taking off his belt. Seems like I'll be starting today. "Strip"

I immediately took off my clothes while shivering. I hate this. Why can't I do anything to defend myself? Is this how mom and I would live forever? Someone save me.

So used to this that there was no sound coming from me, my tears only streamed down my face. "You're useless...you can't do anything except be a faggot." Father laughed spitting his alcohol on me. "W-what would you like to eat, father? I'm doing the chores instead of mom" I managed to say but there was no response. Instead he went ahead to keep hitting me sending me to the ground, after that he crouched down to me and touched my member.

I flinched at his action. 'Was he planning to cut it off?' That was my thought at first but he kept touching me in inappropriate ways. "You're doing the chores for that slut, you have to take responsibility for my desires."

"Fa-father... P-please stop" I begged moving further away from him. "Why? You're covering for that slut so do it right and you like dicks so come with me" The devil dragged my naked body to the bedroom where I was treated like a sex doll. Mom wasn't here. I was alone with the devil.

After the events of that night, I hated myself. I wanted to leave even if it meant my corpse leaving but what would happen to mom? I have to grow strong and save her but I felt disgusted with myself.

At least I got my razor.

Each cut felt painful helping me ease the emotional pain I felt. My breathing slowed down as I felt the blood flow down my arms. I felt relieved.

"One day it'll be your turn" I smiled weakly at the rope hanging from the ceiling. "... but before that, I'll return the devil back to hell"

End of flashback

"You okay? You haven't touched your food" I scoffed at the fake care shown to me. "It might be laced with poison" I wasn't lying or just trying to be sassy. Who trusts a person who almost ruined your life? Not me.

"I promised I changed" I still didn't eat but due to being thirsty, I drank just water while he ate. Less than two minutes into drinking the water, I started feeling dizzy. My breathing became ragged but I tried my best to seem calm. "What did you put in the water?" I managed to question him still trying to keep my cool but in reality, I was dying of fear.

I was still conscious and I swear I saw a smirk on his face. "Kim Seoyul... Kim Seoyul... Kim Seoyul" what happens when the devil calls your name thrice? "You lied....You PSYCHOPATHIC DEVIL!!!"

"About what?..." He stifled a wicked laugh. If I wasn't getting weaker by the minute, I'll stàb him. "...Are you taking about my change? Well I PROMISE I CHANGED my mind on letting both of you have peace of mind and a new life of course"

"Why are...y-you doing this?"

"It's fatherly blessing... My son likes dicks so I'm giving him" Oh no! I can't let him ràpe me. Not again. I instinctively pushed him causing him to fall back and hit his head but he didn't fall unconscious. "Nice try but you of all people should know I hate when people try to defend themselves. It's dumb."

He stood up, taking off his belt and started whipping my almost unconscious body. I still can't defend myself. Maybe it's my fate to end this way. I cried even when I had no tears coming out.

Wait! I have my phone. What if I call Yeol? Even if I wanted to do it, I'm feeling too weak. Why didn't I tell him where I was going? If only I can see him one more time before I die, I wouldn't want to die. I would live, even in the middle of the ocean with Lee Hanyeol.

Slowly... I lost my consciousness.