Kei's feelings

Kei POV

My heart hammered in my chest. Haruto's words came out heavy and unexpected. A confession? From him? He never even hinted at such feelings before. My cheeks burned, and I could feel the heat radiating from my ears. The words "make a wife out of you" echoed in my mind, sounding sweet and terrifying at the same time.

Part of me wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor, another part wanted to scream and run away. But a stronger part, the part that truly cared for Haruto, took control. I peeked through my fingers, meeting his gaze.

"Haru..." I stammered, my voice barely a whisper. "I... I don't know what to say." 

I did it....I used the childish nickname...So embrassing!

Part of me yearned to reciprocate his feelings, to tell him how much I cared about him, too. But the other part, the cautious, overthinking part, held me back. The events of the past few days, His strange, and my own insecurities all tangled together, creating a knot in my stomach.

"It's okay, Kei," Haruto said gently. "Take your time. I just wanted you to know how I feel."

His words offered a sense of comfort. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for us, even with all the uncertainties around. Taking a deep breath, I decided to be honest with him.

I bit my lower lip, feeling like a kicked puppy caught with its tail wagging. "Haru...don't be sad" I mumbled again, my voice barely above a squeak. "It's not that I don't... like you," I finally managed, the last part barely audible. My cheeks felt like they were burning up enough to boil water, and I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing the floor would swallow me whole.

Haru chuckled, a warm, rumbling sound that sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach. "Kei, look at me," he said, his voice laced with a hint of amusement.

I peeked open one eye, then the other, and met his gaze. He wasn't sad! He was smiling! My heart skipped a beat. "You don't have to worry about making me sad," he said, his eyes sparkling. "Just hearing you say that makes me happy."

I got up from my seat.

 Overwhelmed, I stumbled out of the cafe, the world spinning around me. My legs were like jelly, and I could barely catch my breath. All I could think about was Haruto's sudden words, my own shaky response, the tangled mess of emotions churning inside me. What's wrong with me, Why can't be I be striaght and normal with him

My legs barely carried me out of the cafe, the familiar weight of my backpack feeling like a ton of bricks suddenly. 

Reaching my house I fumbled for the keypad, each number a struggle to focus on. The long stairway was an agonizing eternity, the fluorescent lights adding to the rising nausea in my gut. I staircase is too long maybe I would faint here

Finally, I stumbled into my room, the door slamming shut with a found that echoed my own internal mind. Throwing myself onto the bed, I buried my face in the familiar softness. Tears welled up, blurring the edges of my vision.

Although I know that I love haruto and He loves me, the overwhelming fear of my parents' disapproval made me hesistate. But then, a faint image, a memory of Haruto's smile, flickered in the darkness. His gentle voice, his unwavering support, offered a tiny ember of hope.

Taking a shaky breath, I allowed the tears to flow freely. It was okay, I whispered to myself, to feel lost, to have no answers. 

But beneath the hope, a sliver of fear remaied. In a desperate attempt to shake off the overwhelming emotions, I launched myself onto the bed, landing face-first with a muffled "Oof!"

"Ugh, why is everything so complicated?" I groaned, flinging my legs up and kicking them playfully against the mattress. "And come on, legs, you could've at least warned me before you turned into jelly!"

A dreamy sigh escaped my lips as I sank deeper into the fluffy embrace of my bed. My legs, still buzzing, kicked the air playfully. My mind, however, had already begun to wander into a fantastical world, a world where everything was perfect and my feelings for Haruto doesn't have obstacles, but with acceptance and celebration.

In this imaginary space, Haruto and I were walking hand-in-hand along a sun-drenched beach, the gentle waves lapping at our feet. The sand was cool and soft beneath our bare toes, and the salty breeze carried the scent of freedom and possibility. We'd be laughing, sharing words only lovers truly understand.

My cheeks flushed a rosy pink as I pictured myself, dressed in a flowing white dress, twirling in the arms of a handsome Haruto, his eyes sparkling with love and adoration. The world fading away except for the two of us.

But then, as quickly as it appeared, the dream world shattered. A sharp crack echoed in my mind, a sickening sound that brought back a brutal memory. The sting of a leather belt, the choked sob escaping my lips, the fear that curdled my stomach – all flooded back with agonizing clarity.

I can still feel them

Reality slammed into me like a tidal wave. My parents' disapproval wasn't just a disapproving glance or a disappointed sigh. It was a threat, a fear I lived with every single day.

The more I Think about it the more the dream of acceptance, of love, of being with Haruto and marrying him, felt like a cruel joke in the face of my reality.

"Why am I like this?" I whispered to the empty room, my parent's pressure and pressing down on me like a suffocating blanket. "Why can't things be like my silly daydreams?"

Despite the crushing reality that had shattered my daydream, a tiny sliver of hope remained. In the quiet darkness of my room, I allowed myself to indulge in the fantasy once more. This time, the scene shifted to a cozy cafe, filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soft murmur of conversation. Haruto and I sat across from each other, our hands brushing accidentally, sen-.

"Kei, open the door!" My mother's voice, laced with a familiar coldness, echoed through the room.

I wiped away the stray tears, my face hardening with a mix of defiance and resignation. Stay strong

Taking a deep breath, I rose from the bed and walked towards the door, each step heavy with the weight of the impending confrontation. As I opened the door, my mother stood before me, her face a mask of disapproval.

"What were you doing in here all afternoon?" she demanded, her voice sharp. "Didn't I tell you to finish your chores?"

"I was just... tired," I managed, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Tired?" she scoffed. "Always an excuse with you, Kei. You never take responsibility."

"Go finish your chores," she commanded, her voice cold and unyielding. "And don't even think about lunch until you're done."

Why? Why did she always seem angry at me? Was it something I did, or was it just who I was?

I forced myself to focus on the immediate task at hand. Chores. It was my turn this week, according to the rotating schedule we had in the family. Each week, one of us – my mother, and I – would be responsible for specific chores. Today was my day.

With each task I completed, the knot in my stomach loosened slightly. Folding laundry, cleaning the kitchen, dusting the living room – each mundane activity became a small act of defiance. I wouldn't let her words define me. My family is really dangerous so...I try to act obedient since they pay my school fees for my studies

By the time I finished, the house was sparkling clean. Exhaustion settled in my bones, but there was also a sense of satisfaction. I had accomplished something, created a small space of order and calm in the chaos that surrounded me.

As I walked towards my room, my mother's voice cut through the silence. "Kei, why are you coming home so late these days?"

I stopped, surprised. I hadn't realized it was later than usual. "I just lost track of time," I mumbled, unsure how much to reveal.

"Lost track of time?" My mother's voice held a hint of suspicion. "Doing what?"

I hesitated, caught between the desire to be truthful and the fear of further scrutiny. Taking a deep breath, I decided to play it safe. "Just hanging out with friends."

Her gaze remained fixed on me, searching for something I couldn't decipher. Finally, she nodded curtly. "Just make sure you're home by dinner time."

Thank god nothing serious has happened.