Chapter 26

Another three days have passed. Eiharu’s condition has significantly improved. Though he still spends time lying on the bed, sleeping or dozing off, at least his fever has left his system. It’s time to regain his non-existent strength. And thanks to Hakaru’s persistent nurture and the nutritious food he has been consuming under Hakaru’s piercing glare, Eiharu feels slowly refreshed.

In one of the morning Eiharu wakes up early, Hakaru is already occupying his personal computer, working through Eiiharu’s room instead of the office. Eiharu listens to the business talk between Hakaru and, he guesses, Senri. Hakaru looks uncharacteristically serious and attentively listens to directions. His fingers don’t stop dancing on the keyboard, making a loud tick-tock sound. It’s natural to see Hakaru’s incredible writing speed as a writer. Eiharu isn’t a slow typer either, but he seems to be a few levels lower than Hakaru. It’s funny how this beautiful man still has other, better skills than what Eiharu can muster with all his might.

He involuntarily chuckles, and the snort distracts Hakaru’s undivided focus.

“He’s awake, Sen.” Hakaru still talks to the phone while his eyes are on Eiharu. He reaches out to touch Eiharu’s forehead, still checking Eiharu’s temperature even if he doesn’t need to anymore. “Do you want to talk to him?”

Eiharu involuntarily sits up. As much as he isn’t in the mood to talk, Senri is still his boss. When Hakaru hands him the phone, he only says a short greeting with his hoarse voice, listening to Senri’s ‘get-well-soon’ words.

“I can start working soon.”

‘It’s okay. We don’t have any deadline, so you can take this chance to recover fully. Having Hakaru beside you is a blessing, but he can sometimes be noisy. Don’t hesitate to kick him out when he becomes too much.’

Eiharu chuckles a bit. He involuntarily looks at Hakaru. “Mm, I’ll remember that. Thank you, Rui-san.”

‘No problem. Give the phone back to that dumbass. I’m not done speaking when he cut me off.’

“Ah, sorry.”

Eiharu hands the phone back, and Hakaru silently groans. Apparently, he purposely handed the phone to Eiharu so he could take a break from listening to Senri’s full-blown complaint. Noticing his initial intention, EIharu gives him a smug look. Since he can’t retort to Eiharu’s mock, Hakaru can only glare while responding to Senri’s preaching.

Around ten minutes later, Hakaru is done being scolded and rests his head on the desk, facing Eiharu’s mattress while looking dejected.

“How much you screwed?”

“I’m not sure anymore.” Hakaru groans. “I mean, when she openly gets mad at me when I make a mistake is better than listening to her technical rambling.”

“So you prefer to have your client send the revision list directly to you?”

“Of course! That way, she doesn’t need to see the part I messed up and only knows the good, final result.”

“Ah… I can understand that.”

“Right??? She doesn’t need to know the messy progress.” Hakaru inhales and shakes his head. He straightens his posture and is about to continue his work. “Well, at the same time, I must admit her explanation is easier to understand than the client's. It saves a lot of my time.”

“Is that so?”

“Well, I think I can wrap this today.” Hakaru stops as he remembers something. “Right, your breakfast-- but it’s almost lunch already.”

Eiharu checks the time. “What? It’s barely ten in the morning.”

“Yeah, almost lunch.”

Eiharu frowns. “At what time do you have lunch?”

“Whenever I feel hungry. And now I am.”

Not waiting for Eiharu’s response, Hakaru glided downstairs towards the kitchen. Eiharu could hear the faint sound coming, wondering how much his mother trusted Hakaru to let the man inside their house, rummaging through their kitchen and acting like a permanent resident. Even Mutsuo doesn’t do this, and the older man has been around for much longer than this unsolicited person.

Then again, it’s not like Eiharu can complain, right? Not after all the things Hakaru has done for him. Eiharu isn’t that ungrateful.

“By the way, brother asked for an update.” Hakaru hands Eiharu a full plate of food. “Do you want me to do it, or do you wanna call him yourself?”

Eiharu stares at the plate in his hand. “This is too much.”

“I’ll eat your leftover.”

“Take half of it right now.”

“Why do you eat so little?”

“I have no appetite.”

“How about fruits?”

“Well… I can eat them.”

Hakaru moves half a portion to his own plate and puts the bowl of cut fruits next to Eiharu. Eiharu seems more interested in the fruit and chooses to eat it first.

“I’ll call my brother myself, then. Since you didn’t answer.”

“Mm.”

And Hakaru really calls Kanryou at that exact moment. He purposely set the phone on loudspeaker so Eiharu could hear their conversation. Aside from the technical stuff about what Hakaru needs to do next, there is nothing interesting to listen to, to be honest. Eiharu doesn’t think he needs to hear it. Though, he keeps his thoughts to himself and just munching the cold fruits.

Rather than that, Eiharu is more curious about what the brothers share about him. He wants to know how badly--yes, badly--they gossip. As Eiharu’s mean brain will immediately think of awful things, he doesn’t believe the brothers have anything good to share. Maybe Hakaru would complain that he is an annoying coworker. Maybe Kanryou told Hakaru that Eiharu was a shitty upperclassman, something like that.

Until the end, Eiharu makes no sound while Hakaru is on the phone with Kanryou. Hakaru thought he would say something, but he didn’t.

“You sure you don’t wanna talk to brother?”

“About what?”

“I dunno. What do you two usually talk about?”

Eiharu thinks briefly. He isn’t sure. After all, he and Kanryou don’t always text that much. When they do, it’s usually stopped midway, thanks to Kanryou’s busy schedule in the hospital.

“We didn’t talk much.”

“Really?” Hakaru raises an eyebrow. “I thought you two at least chatted?”

“We did, but not for long.”

“Not as long as how we did?”

“Because you would spam my inbox if I don’t respond.”

Hakaru laughs. “Brother should do the same if he wants to earn a faster response from you.”

Eiharu snorts, but he doesn’t retort. As he finished his fruit bowl, he went for his next plate. Technically, he is already half-full after eating the fruits, but his appetite grows, so he also decides to eat the food. It would be a waste if he doesn’t.

“But I’m curious,” Hakaru adds, “what do you usually talk about with him?”

“Well… things.”

“What kind of things?”

“I don’t know. The topic changes a lot.” Eiharu glances at him. “And you? What kind of things did you hear about me from him?”

“Hmm… that you were his upperclassman?”

“And?”

“And that… you were, umm… bullied?”

The way Hakaru carefully says the word, Eiharu can tell he is considering Eiharu’s feelings. He is both grateful and uncomfortable because that’s the first thing Hakaru heard. However, since it was the reason Eiharu and Kanryou met, Eiharu can’t blame them.

“Don’t get me wrong, okay? He didn’t say anything bad about you.” Hakaru has misunderstood EIharu’s silence. “I mean… umm… Brother feels responsible because he didn’t try harder.”

“At what?”

“At… helping you.”

Eiharu raises an eyebrow, confused. “It’s not his responsibility, though.”

“I mean, when our friends are in a pinch, we surely want to help, right? I think he feels guilty for not trying to help you better. I’m not sure what he did or didn’t do, though. You’re the one who knows.”

“We weren’t even friends.”

“What?”

“Back then, I mean. We weren’t friends.”

Hakaru looks openly bewildered. Through Kanryou’s brief story, he was sure Eiharu and Kanryou were at least close enough to be considered friends. Kanryou knew about the bullying. He was the only person Eiharu talked to. How come Eiharu said they weren’t friends?

“...say, do you mind talking about it? About the past?”

“...what do you want to know?”

“Everything.” Eiharu fell silent, so Hakaru continued. “It’s a delicate topic, I know. It’s not easy to talk about, I also understand that. I want you to know that I’m not forcing you to tell me things you don’t wanna say, so it’s okay not to spill everything. But… it bothers you, right? Even if it’s been so long.”

Eiharu lowers his head. He feels like he has lost his appetite once again.

“You are still recovering, so I know this is probably not the right time to discuss it. However… the cause of your fever was ‘that,’ right?”

“...I don’t know what you’re trying to say. Your brother said it was because of a heatstroke.”

“Because he doesn’t want to make your mother worry. Ei, you are probably unaware of this, but you… you blabbered. When your fever was still high, you told me things I didn’t understand. I had to ask my brother because you two had a history in the past.”

Eiharu raises his head. He looks wary. “What did he say?”

“Nothing, he didn’t tell me anything. But I know he did not because he had no idea. I think he didn’t want to speak behind your back.”

“....”

“Look, I don’t mean to pry. I'm just… worried. If telling the story helps you resolve the problem, then I want to be the one to listen.”

“...why?”

“Because you’re my friend. I really care about my friends, you know? Of course I’m worried about you too.”

-Friend…-

Eiharu feels uncomfortable. As he has difficulty classifying Hakaru, hearing it makes him feel guilty. He is grateful for what Hakaru has done so far. Without him, Eiharu probably won’t feel comfortable with his job. Outside work stuff, Hakaru still treats him nicely despite Eiharu’s indifference to Hakaru’s approach. Even though he has warmed up more than back then, he still thinks it’s not enough to see someone as cold as him as a friend.

“...it’s in the past. Just a brat being a brat.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Well… everyone? Me, your brother, and that guy.”

Hakaru observes him profoundly. Eiharu is evasive, and Hakaru has dealt with this behavior often. When he doesn’t want to talk about the topic, Eiharu is prone to run away by saying vague things as if they barely mean anything. But Hakaru has learned how to touch delicate topics with Eiharu. There are times he backs away and does not. For now, while Hakaru understands he had better stop pushing when Eiharu has just recovered from the shock, he also wishes to help solve the problem for Eiharu’s sake.

“Yeah, you guys were just a brat back then. But it doesn’t mean the thing you did when you were a brat won’t affect your life later.” Hakaru inhales deeply. “You realized you need help, Ei. What happened back then still affects your life. You pretend it doesn’t, maybe because of… your mother.”

“....”

“Am I wrong?”

Eiharu keeps his mouth shut. He dislikes being confronted, oh, how he loathes this situation so, so much. He dislikes being cornered under the pretext of helping him. However, compared to the discomfort he feels in this situation, he hates how he understands the good reason Hakaru’s pressing. Hakaru wants to help; Eiharu appreciates that. However, the topic was never properly touched, and Eiharu’s body instinctively tried to protect him from distress. He can feel the unsettled anger is about to burst out.

“Let’s… talk about it any other time.” Eiharu puts down his plate. His food is barely touched, and the churn in his stomach prevents him from swallowing further. His throat feels tight. “I need to… I don’t know; think about it first.”

“Are you angry?”

“...not at you.”

“Do you think I’m crossing the line right now?”

Eiharu bites his lips. He can’t lie by saying Hakaru doesn’t, but doing so is useless since Hakaru already knows the answer. In that case, what can he reply with?

“You already know the answer. Don’t ask a rhetorical question.”

“Okay, sorry about that. Just so you know, as much as I’m dying to know, it’s not simply to ease my curiosity. I’ll repeat it; I’m worried about you.”

“...mm. Thanks.”

“I will hold back for now, but I have to remind you that I will ask again later on. You can’t keep pushing me away, Ei.”

With Hakaru's persistence in befriending him, Eiharu understands that Hakaru is always faithful to his words. It sounds like a threat, to be honest. Imagining the sudden question pops up, Eiharu can feel his hair standing in discomfort. At the same time, he agrees with Hakaru that he can’t keep avoiding it. He had already done this for a decade and probably would have repeated the pattern if he hadn’t seen Toshiya that day.

-Right, all of this happened to me because of that jerk-

If they didn’t meet, Eiharu can keep the story a secret. Be it back then or now, Toshiya always caused him many problems.

Eiharu’s hand involuntarily forms a fist. He thought he could restart his life when he met Kanryou again. Who would have thought that Toshiya would also show up?

“Say, Hakaru…”

“Mm?”

“Do you… believe in fate?”