Chapter 8
Sara
It had been two days since Alex left for Texas, leaving a void in our home. Julie, on the other hand, seemed to have vanished. Mom had been calling her repeatedly, but Julie was avoiding her. Alex had mentioned that Julie’s friend had lost her mother, and she needed to be there, but I couldn’t help but wonder why she hadn’t communicated that before leaving.
As for Alex and me, we still hadn’t set a wedding date. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he might not be as thrilled about our impending marriage as I was. I admit, I pushed for the wedding, using my birthday gift as an engagement. When he got me a promise ring on my birthday I wasn’t so happy with it so ask him to change it into something more cute and sophisticated. Which lead to him getting me this cute diamonds ring. And me just screaming yes I will married you before all my friends putting him in a tight spot.
But my feelings for him were genuine. I am not too sure if it is love, though. I remained the same person who loved late-night parties and casual encounters. The truth is, only my family knew about our plans. If anyone else found out, they would know I had strayed with more than one man.
“I just can’t help it; I love sex, It’s like an undeniable craving deep within me, a burning desire that I can’t resist. The touch, the intimacy, the rush – it all consumes me. It’s not just about physical pleasure; it’s a way I connect with someone on a profound level. It’s the exhilaration of desire and the sheer joy of sharing something so intensely personal. I find it impossible to deny or control this need, and it’s an essential part of who I am.” “Sex is my way of expressing myself, of truly being in the moment. It’s a way to let go and be genuine with someone else. I yearn for that connection, that profound chemistry that ignites when two people come together intimately. It’s not merely about satisfying a physical need; it’s about the emotional bond that comes with it. I want to feel desired, to desire someone in return, and to explore our desires together. It’s how I feel close to another person, sharing something incredibly personal and beautiful. I know it might not be what everyone comprehends, but for me, it’s a powerful, undeniable part of who I am.”
Despite my reservations, I was busy planning what I envisioned as the most beautiful wedding. Alex suggested we use this time to get to know each other better before deciding on a date, and our parents agreed. But life kept getting in the way. His work and my upcoming trip to Italy left us with limited time together. I couldn’t help but worry that my sister, who had a knack for spreading rumors, might ruin everything. She’d already labeled me a “slut” for taking away her boyfriend, a claim that still stung.
Jealousy had always been my constant companion when it came to Julie. She effortlessly attracted cute and older boyfriends who treated her like a princess. Alex was the first man to make me feel special, like everything revolved around me. However, my old habits died hard. When Alex and I started dating, it was meant to be a one-night stand, but he refused to go that route, urging me not to debase myself. It didn’t stop me from sleeping with his brother, Zac, while he was asleep. I was certain I didn’t love him, that much was clear.
One aspect of my life that I intended to keep from Alex was the darkness of my past. I needed time to develop genuine feelings for him, just as he had for me. That meant keeping Julie at bay, at least until I was ready to share my history with Alex. Keeping Julie away wouldn’t be too difficult; she knew my capabilities all too well. I’d done some terrible things in the past and had spent my fair share of time behind bars.
Three years ago, I had a brutal altercation with Julie, leaving her hospitalized and nearly blind. She stayed in that hospital for months, with me unable to be in the same room as her. On that same day, I had attacked a man, leaving his brain damaged and unable to do much except breathe and observe his surroundings. A year before that, another fight had landed Julie in a coma for over half a year, her arm severely broken and permanently damaged. My actions had forever altered her life.
Our childhood was nothing like this. Julie and I used to love and care for each other. However, when Julie got her first boyfriend, everything changed. I couldn’t stand the fact that my little sister, who I considered less beautiful than me, had a boyfriend before I did, and a much older one at that. Nate, her boyfriend, was handsome, and my jealousy drove me to say cruel things about Julie, which led him to leave her for me. A few months later, a new guy moved into the neighborhood, a striking 19-year-old, and I left Nate for him, just to show Julie that she couldn’t have everything I desired. On my 19th birthday, I made out with him, further fueling her resentment towards me. Julie wouldn’t speak to me for weeks after that, and when she finally did, she couldn’t hide her disgust.
As I looked at her, I couldn’t help but sense the disgust in her eyes, and it cut deep. She was aware of my upcoming wedding to Alex, the one person who had always made me feel truly special. It was crystal clear that she would stop at nothing to sabotage our wedding, and that thought sent shivers down my spine.
I knew her well enough to understand that she harbored resentment and jealousy. The bond between Alex and me was something unique and irreplaceable, and she couldn’t stand the thought of us being together. I could almost hear the gears turning in her mind as she plotted ways to disrupt our happiness.
The history between us was complex, filled with misunderstandings and conflicts. It was a relationship marked by envy and competition, and now, with my impending marriage to Alex, those negative emotions seemed to be reaching their peak.
It was essential for me to be vigilant and protect the love I had with Alex from any attempts to undermine it. Our wedding was a symbol of our commitment to each other, and I was determined to ensure that nothing would tarnish our special day.