chapter 18

Julie

Returning home, I climbed the stairs and took a refreshing shower, changing into something comfortable. As I descended, the familiar sight of my parents and Alex watching football greeted me in the living room. I inquired about the talk my mom mentioned.

"Hmm, mom, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes, baby, take a seat," my mom gestured. I sat next to my dad, curiosity and skepticism mingling in my gaze.

"Look, Julie, I know you feel like we haven't been there for you, like if we don't care about you, and that we care more about Sara than you. Well, that is absolutely not true," my mom began. "Being a mom is more than giving birth; you earn that title by loving, comforting, and always putting your children first. And I know I haven't done any of that for you, baby. I know we have had our hands full with your sister, and we are sorry for that. We just want you to understand that she needs us, but that doesn't mean we don't love you."

As she spoke, the frustration that had been building up within me burst forth. "Look, Mom, it's not just about Sara needing you. It's about always treating us differently, like we're not equals. Have you ever wondered how that feels? You'd fly across continents for her birthdays but forget mine when I'm in another state. You'd cancel everything for her, but for me, it's like an afterthought. You flew to Italy for Sara's birthday, but do you even know when mine is?"

My mom's expression shifted, a mixture of guilt and realization. "Julie, I... I didn't realize it hurt you this much. I was caught up in trying to keep things together, and I thought you were strong, independent. I didn't think you needed me in the same way."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I responded, "That's the problem, Mom. I do need you, but it feels like you've never believed that. Sara got all your attention, and I was left on the sidelines. Have you ever wondered why I act so independent? It's because I've had to be, not because I wanted to be."

My mom's gaze softened, her understanding dawning. "I'm so sorry, Julie. I didn't realize the impact of my actions. I should have been there for you, not just assumed you were fine on your own. I messed up, and I want to make it right."

Distrust lingered in my eyes, but I could sense a genuine remorse in my mom's words. "You've hurt me, Mom, more than you know. It's not just about Sara. It's about feeling second best my whole life. It's about questioning if you even care."

"Julie, I care. I care more than you can imagine. I don't want you to feel second best. I want to be the mom you need. I messed up, and I'm so sorry." She reached out, attempting to hold my hand.

I pulled away, the wounds too fresh to let her in so easily. "Look, Mom, whether you love me or not, I don't care anymore. It's like you said, she needs you, and I don't. Okay? I have never needed you, and I would never need you."

"Don't say that, Julie. You know we are always here if you need us, right?"

"Baby, I'm sorry, okay? I know I hurt you. I know I haven't been the mother you want. I know you hate me and your sister for what happened to Kyle because I lied—he tried to rape you, okay."

"No, Mom, I don't hate you. I'm just disgusted at what you did. You think I don't know the main reason Sara is not in jail now, but because I don't hate you, I'm not going to say. So why? Because if I did, I don't think your so-called reputation will be saved. But if you hurt me one more time, I wouldn't mind telling the press what really happened here."

As I stood up, my dad seized my arm. "Your mom is not finished, young lady, and I would love it if you would stop behaving like a little bitch."

His words stung, and I looked at him in shock. I had always felt an undercurrent of hatred in his gaze. He never cared how I was doing; he never gave me a pet name like he did with Sara. The only person who did was Sara before she changed. I turned back to my mom, tears streaming down my cheeks, her pained expression mirroring my inner turmoil.

"You are not finished. Go on, I'm listening."

"Julie, princess, I'm always going to be here for you, okay? I know you have had a hard life when I didn't even look back. But from now on, I want you to come to me with your problems, to talk to me. I know we might not be the best of friends, but I'm your mother. And as your mother, I want to say I'm sorry. I just want you to know I'm really sorry. I haven't been there for you, baby girl. I'm really sorry, princess."

"It's not that simple, Mom. Years of feeling overlooked can't be erased with an apology. But if you're serious about changing, show me through your actions, not just words."

My mom embraced me, kissing the top of my head. It was the first time she had held me like this, a gesture I once thought reserved only for Sara. I felt a weight lifting from my shoulders.

My dad, who had been observing quietly, interjected, "Julie, we both acknowledge our mistakes, and we're committed to making amends. Your mom needs time too, just like you do."

"I need time," I agreed, "but I also need change. If you're sincere, prove it."

My mom nodded, determination in her eyes. "I will, Julie. I'll do everything I can to make things right."

The room fell silent as the weight of our conversation settled. Emotions lingered, and for the first time, it seemed like the beginning of a new understanding between my mother and me.

"One more thing, baby. Your grandma said she really wants you to come visit her next week. She has something for you. Don't ask me what, but she said she would love it if you and Sara came together. And I also really want you to be Sara's maid of honor."

"No way, Mother! I should have known this was why you were apologizing. You are actually not sorry, and trust me, I would rather die than be her maid of honor." Pushing her away, I ran upstairs.