I shake hips. i don't have
And take lovers whose names i can't remember
James was burly
Tanya drew blood
Brent lost his father
Beatrice was an addict
Over and over
They all tell me
What im good for
Its what they're worst at
This is all I'm used for
I dream of baked goods and a silky red dress
And my chest doesn't sting
There are candles everywhere, and I'm at a dinner table with the one I need
So sorrowful it is to surrender to impulse
The sounds fade when I'm asleep
The only grunting I hear is my roommate
High again
Scared
He's so naive
I walk down streets i don't own
And wonder if my heart could have a home
They tell me I'm wanted
But they call me by the wrong name
Jane fell asleep
Daniel left after he was done
Collin was an insomniac
Lisa dug at her skin
Crying out for me
I can't remember her voice
Is this going to be my whole life?
One by one
Night after night
Smoking makes me puke
The lights are too bright
Maybe I could've been a pharmacist
Or are good daughter
Where are my keys?
I can't remember anything
Im so slow
Beatrice talked about roaches
Daniel hit me the whole way through
I think they had faces
I dont recognize myself
I can't remember them all
James was thin
Coked up
Tanya was soft like lilac
Brent had loving parents
Beatrice was a nun
Jane watched me sleep
Daniel kept me company
Collin couldn't stay awake
Lisa's skin was perfect
She never said a word
My body aches
And I wonder if my skin could ever be clean again
And being warm
I miss my body being actually mine
Wish it was someone elses
It's been winter for too long