Useless

"Kim Hyun-Gi, wake up." A voice whispered into my ear

I slowly opened my eyes and squinted at James, who was kneeling next to my bed, his large hand on my bony shoulder. I didn't want to wake up, not just yet. For the first time ever, I had a dream. For the first time in my life, I fell asleep and had a dream. I wasn't sure how to celebrate such an achievement, for nobody celebrated such a thing. Anyway, I had an amazing dream. There were flowers everywhere, red ones only though. I was wearing a pristine white dress as I sat in the garden of red flowers. The flowers calmly danced in the gentle breeze. I wasn't sure where the breeze was coming from, but oh, it felt great on my skin. The beautiful dream ended the second I felt James' hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, you awake yet?" He whispered again

Who was he to interrupt my dream?

"Kim Hyun-Gi? Kim Hyun-Gi?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm up." I lifted myself up, still squinting my eyes. I stretched my arms out in the air, and yawned louder than a grizzly bear, just like James did the previous night.

"The sun isn't out yet." I said, looking out the window

"I know, but I just couldn't wait to tell you the news." James said, a wide smile plastered on his face. I had never seen him smile that wide.

"What news?"

"I've decided that..."

He's kicking me out? He's going to kill me? He's going to make me a big breakfast and allow me to go back to sleep so that I could dream some more?

"I'm sending you to school."

"You're what?"

"I'm sending you to school."

"What the heck is 'school'?"

He face-palmed himself.

"Look, I'll explain everything during breakfast. So get up now. I'll see you in the kitchen." He got up and walked to the door

"Can I get more sleep afterwards?"

"No." He said, his back still facing me.

I got up and went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and put on the clothes James placed on my bed. They were his clothes, so they were really baggy on me. I walked over to the kitchen and found James wearing a pink apron, dishing food on the plates.

"You may have a seat. Here's your breakfast." James handed me a plate full of food on it. Just what I needed.

"Thanks for the food." I said, taking my seat. Just as I was about to pick the food with my hands, James handed me a fork.

"It's less messy if you use this."

I groaned, taking the fork. I felt so restricted from eating the way I wanted, but I couldn't argue with James' commands.

Yet again, the food was delicious. The eggs, the bacon, the sausages, they were all divine! The only thing I didn't eat was the red liquid that was on the side of the plate. It looked like blood. The thought of blood nearly made me puke my food out.

"You don't like ketchup?" James asked looking at the red liquid that was left on my plate.

"Not really." I said

"Well, it's way better than you think it is. You should try it next time with fries. It's really delicious."

"Um, okay."

James put the plates in the sink and started washing them in the water. He had that focused look on his face again. That same look he had when he focused on his laptop. I guessed he had a thing of putting 100% of his focus on everything he did.

"So, this 'school' thing you mentioned earlier..."

"Oh! Thanks for reminding me." He dried his hands off and came back to his seat. He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it, putting it onto the table. I wondered how many things he kept in that pocket of his.

"What's this?" I asked

"It's a letter. Read it."

I looked down at the paper, then at him, then back at the paper again. It was clear that he wasn't clued up with my history yet.

"What's the matter? Why aren't you reading it?" He asked, confused

"I can't read."

His mouth opened to say something, but he closed it again. So what? I, a 16-year-old girl, can't read. Sure it wasn't ladylike to him, but it also wasn't uncommon.

"Nevermind then." He took the paper and shoved it back into his pocket, "Anyway, a few years ago, my father wrote a will and added me in it, saying that he'd leave me money. Ever since he died, I didn't know what to do with that money. It has been in my bank for a while."

"How much was the money?" I asked

"4 billion." He said

My eyes widened with shock. Back at the orphanage, the Caretaker always use to say that no one on earth was capable of reaching money that big, and I believed him unfortunately. Now that I knew that that person with that kind of money was actually existed, my mind was officially blown.

"What are you doing here in the forest when you could be spending that money?" I asked

"As I said before, my goal is to capture the monster wandering in the forest. The fun can only begin once I capture it."

"So then, what does the money have to do with me?"

"As I mentioned earlier, I was thinking of sending you to a school. A boarding school. Last night, I kept thinking about how dangerous it is for you to stay here with me in the forest, where the Forest Monster is. So it's best if you go somewhere where it's safe."

"James," I said, "I've lived in this forest all my life. Why are you sending me away?"

"I'm not sending you away, I'm--"

"Yes you are! You're sending me away just so that you wouldn't have to deal with a sloppy girl like me. You're tired of me. And don't tell me about that stupid Forest Monster, James! It's not real. It never was."

I folded my arms and looked away from him, pouting my lips angrily.

"Kim Hyun-Gi, I'm not chasing you out. You didn't let me finish. I want you to go to a boarding school so that you can find yourself in the world. You'll be able to socialize with others and get a sense of belonging. The teachers will also teach you how to read and write. I'm not doing this for myself. I'm doing it for you."

I listened to his words carefully. As I listened, I suddenly felt funny in my stomach region. It wasn't the food that was talking, but rather a...a feeling. A feeling that I felt towards this man. The man who did so much for me, even though I gave nothing in return.

"Why do you care about me?" I asked, catching him off guard for a second

"I guess..." He pondered for a while before he could answer, "I guess I'm just trying to make up for my past mistakes. I'm hoping to be redeemed, to be forgiven after all these years. You're the key to my redemption. I don't really know how to explain it in simple words, but, you're helping me in a way that encourages self-improvement. You understand me, right?"

"No." I replied firmly. No matter how many times a man was to explain himself, I was never going to understand. There was no way of a woman of properly understanding a man fully. Maybe I did understand him from my perspective, but I don't understand him from his own perspective. I asked wasn't about to lie and tell him that I understood him. The harsh truth was that I didn't.

"But," I continued,"I think I'm willing to give this school thing a shot. From the things you've said about it so far, it seems like a nice place. Is it safe though?"

"Of course! There's nothing dangerous about the school. You're going to love it."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely," he said, "You can trust me, Kim Hyun-Gi."

"If you say so."

And so James went on about the school. Apparently, it was a girls-only school. They would provide me with everything I needed. Clothes, food, a good education, you named it. It was a small school, but James assured me that I'd have plenty of fun.

"When do I start?" I asked

"How about in two days?"

"Sounds good enough."

"Good," James smiles at me. I smiled back, but looked away in embarrassment

Our conversation went on for a few couple of minutes. Honestly, I enjoyed talking to James. He was the first man I enjoyed speaking to and spending time with. He was prove that not all man in this world are bad people. He cooked me food, he nursed my injury, he gave me clothes, and he even kept my secret. He was a good man, even though I didn't quite understand him fully.

Just then, we heard a loud bang come from outside. James and I turned to the door at the same time, my eyes big with fear.

"Get under the table, now!" James commanded, rushing for his shotgun

"What? But why? What's going on?"

"Just get under, now!"

I did as I was told. I hoped it wasn't those hunters again. James readied himself, then quickly opened the door and rushed outside, closing the door behind him. Gunshots could be heard, and strange noises were also made outside. I wondered if it was some kind of creature.

Curiously, I went to the door and slightly peeped through it. I could only see James aiming his gun at something, but I couldn't see what it was. I opened the door fully and saw the whole scenery. In front of James was something I've never seen before in my whole life. It was scary, it was dangerous, it was...a monster?!. It crawled on its two legs and arms, all four having knife-like claws. Its body was huge with purple, furry skin. It had small eyes and millions of sharp teeth. I thought it was a grizzly bear, but that creature was far too big to even be a bear. Was that the Forest Monster James was talking about?

Just then, I saw the monster's eyes turn to me. My heart began to race as the monster growled at me.

"Kim Hyun-Gi, get back!" James yelled, the shot the monster before it could get to me. Blood splattered all over the grass, and even on the door. The monster crawled back between the trees, leaving a trail of blood behind it.

"Dammit!" James raged, throwing his gun on the floor.

I felt so useless. That was a chance for James to finally catch that monster, and I just stood there and watched. What if the monster hurt him? What if it killed him? And I just stood there. The man who saved me from a pack of hunters took his gun and protected me from a wild monster, and I just stood there and watched. I don't deserve any of his care. I felt so...useless.

"The monster got away unfortunately, but at least---"

I ran up to James and hugged him and his sweaty shirt.

"I'm so sorry, James." I cried, tears wetting James' shirt. I couldn't understand why I suddenly got so emotional, but I was glad I understood what it meant to have someone like James by my side.

"Kim Hyun-gi..." he just stood there, shocked. I was pathetic for acting that way, but it was all worth it. I didn't need James to hug be back. All I wanted was for him to understand how grateful I was. He saved me from that creature, even when I didn't believe him. He was more than just a good guy, he was my hero.

"I think it's best we take you to school tomorrow." He told me as we walked back into the house

"Tomorrow?" I asked, feeling nervous

"I know it's soon, but I can't let you get hurt by the Forest Monster. It's far too dangerous."

I took I deep breath in. I had never been outside the forest before. I wasn't ready to leave yet. But, ever since I saw how dangerous that monster was, I thought that leaving was for the best.

"Will I be staying at that school forever?"

"No. You'll visit me every weekend." He assured me

"Tomorrow it is then."

I was uncertain whether I was making the most beneficial choice in my life, or the most detrimental one.