I Died?

"No!"

I struggled to pull myself out of James' strong grip. I quickly made up my mind. I didn't want any of that. But I felt like I might have been too late to change my mind. I already gave James the impression that I liked him by kissing him back. There was no reverse button for a kiss, nor love.

"James, stop!" My words were mumbled up, so I was inaudible to him.

For a moment I thought that him and I were meant to be, and that there was love between us that was destined to grow. But then I snapped. My conscience had returned back to me and I was able to think straight again. Lust had gotten the better of me, just like it did whenever James got close to me. That was what grew the devil within me. I didn't want to become something I wasn't.

I smacked James' shoulder several times, and he had finally loosened his grip on me. I roughly pushed him away and rushed for the car door.

"Hyun-Gi, wait!" He yelled, but I had already ran out of the car

I ran, faster than I had ever ran before. It was déjà vu. This has happened to me once before. The time when I escaped the orphanage, thinking that I had found the freedom I deserved. But instead, I was nearly killed hunters. Just like that situation, I thought I was happy for a split second. But it was merely infatuation in a disguise. And it waited just for the right moment to turn me against myself.

The tears in my eyes blurred my vision, so I was barely capable of seeing where I was going. That was when I took the wrong step while going down a hill. I twisted my left ankle, and I fell, tumbling down the steep hill. My head hit a rock at it sharp edge, and sticks poked my face and other parts of my body. The tumbling came to an end when my back hit a log.

My eyes were covered in blood . My head and body were in extreme pain, on the inside and on the outside. I slightly lifted my head up and looked down at my arms. My right arm was twisted in the opposite direction. I could see the bone sticking out from the elbow. I wished I never saw that. It was an image that I would carry in my mind for a very long time. The pain wasn't so bad at first, but now that I knew how damaged my body was, I felt like dying.

I screamed and screamed, but the harder I tried, the weaker I grew. What I did was stupid. If I didn't run away like the coward I was, my bones would still be intact. If I just left James to kiss me, I wouldn't be at the edge of death. There was so much to regret, but so little time.

"James..." I whimpered, coughing up the sour taste of blood.

What was wrong with me? I just ran away from a man and there I was, crying for him all over again. I thought I knew myself better. I thought I was stronger than that, but I guessed I was wrong. I was weak, and I was destined to die that moment.

I stared up into the small parts of the sky. It would've been pretty if the trees weren't in the way. But pitiful wishes never came to the weak. To think that I wished to be dead back then in the orphanage, I realized that karma was a real bully.

Just as I was about to take my last breath, I noticed a figure standing over me. It wasn't James, because his body was bigger and broader, and it couldn't have been a hunter because they would have shot me already. Instead, it was a woman.

I couldn't see her face properly. She was like a blurry illusion. No eyes, no nose, and no mouth. Just a face. And she wore a white silk dress, just like the one I wore when I lived in the orphanage. She stood there and stared at me. It was like I was looking into a mirror. The only difference was that she got to live and watch me die. Why was she so cruel to watch me die in the middle of the forest?

"Are you going to die so easily?"

She spoke, but without a mouth. Her voice was hollow, yet melodic. So devilish, yet so sweet. She was nothing but a contrasting figure. Complete opposite of me, yet looked exactly like who I am. She was living, and I was dying. Was she going to take my place in reality, while I was going to take the two way street to either heaven or hell.

"Are you going to die so easily?" She asked again.

"The answer is right in front of you, idiot." I mumbled, almost choking on blood

It was obvious. The blood all over me, my broken bones. There was no hope of life for me.

"You're a coward, Hyun-Gi." She said

She knew my name?

"What are you saying?" I asked

"You're afraid to discover your true self. I've realized that, since I've been watching you."

"What?"

She had been watching me? I knew creepy, but she was on a whole different level.

"I'm confused."

"The forest monster." She said, "Find it, and once you do, you will find your answers."

"Forest Monster? What do you mean? Why are you speaking in riddles?" I asked

Nothing she said made sense. What on earth did the forest monster have to do with me finding myself? I knew exactly where I was: In the forest, DYING!

"Snap out of it, Hyun-Gi." She said, slowly fading away from my sight.

I had googly eyes now. Everything around me was spinning in circles, and I kept hearing voices in my head. Those voices kept screaming snap out of it! It pained my head to the core. I didn't know which kind of pain hurt the most anymore. The pain in my mind, or the pain I felt physically. They both cancelled each other out, leaving me in a hell hole.

That was when I felt a hand slap me hard on my cheek. I was brought back to my senses again. My vision was clear, and all the pain had somehow vanished. I looked at my arm and found it in good condition. My face felt dry with no blood wetting it anymore. I was...okay? Was it all just a dream.

"Hyun-Gi, snap out of it!"

I blinked a few times and James suddenly appeared in front of me. He held me tightly on his lap, an expression of worry glued on his face. Did the very man in front of me just slap me? A 16 year old child?! The man had no mercy.

"Hyun-Gi? Can you hear me? Are you okay?" He asked, examining my face

"I-I think I am." I answered, "But, how am I...?"

The taste of blood in my mouth was gone, and my bones were no longer twisted. It was as if nothing had happened to me at all. The hill I fell from was steep and dangerous. No one could've survived that, not even me. Yet there I was, still speaking and breathing in the rain-scented air. I could've sworn I died. All the pain I felt, my broken arm, the blood. Where did that all go?

I slowly got up, but a strong pain shot straight into my ankle. I guessed that little detail was true.

"Careful. You twisted your ankle pretty bad. I'll help you get---"

"James, am I still alive?" I asked

He blinked at me a few times, "What?"

"I was at the edge of death. I fell down from that hill and broke all my bones, and then a woman--the woman! Where is she? She spoke to me and said confusing things to me. I wasn't sure how she was speaking, because she had no face. Do you know where she is?"

"A woman?" James asked, "Hyun-Gi, there was no one here. I was with you the whole time. I tried waking you up, but you were unconscious. It's a miracle you survived that without a scratch on your body."

That wasn't true! I did get hurt, and I did die. It just didn't make any sense. And that girl I saw. Who was she, and what message did she intend on giving me? I had so many questions, but no one could answer them. Not even me.

"James, are you sure you didn't see anyone around here?" I asked

"No I didn't Hyun-Gi, are you okay? You must've hit your head or something." He tilted my head and scanned it for any injuries.

I never thought being so close to James would feel so uneasy now. In the beginning, it was like a dream, smelling his musky perfume whenever he got close, my muddy eyes getting lost in his forest green eyes. I wished that never ended.

I felt a raindrop drop onto my nose. The clear sky was now covered with blankets of grey clouds in the sky. It was funny, because even the clouds were crying for me. I was a freak. That girl I saw earlier was right.

I really didn't know myself.