My Apology

Report #1: I successfully landed on Earth. They looked exactly like in the books.

Violin was one of the top researchers in planet N2 and the one selected by The Board to research human life.

More than anxious, he felt excited since everything would not only be new but also, he would be the first one to know. The first alien. To meet humans.

He was to find out whether they are capable of peace so Violin, with a device to translate foreign language, fake identity and human appearance, began his mission in a bar.

Why?

Because based on his internet research in Earth(they can't access another galaxy's internet), adults hang around in bars. Adults who have fully-developed brains and bars where you can casually talk to people.

And that's why he's there in the closest bar to his apartment at 6pm since it only opens at night, waiting at the counter with their "best drink pls" which was a vodka. Not long after, someone sat next to him and ordered. But as he was going to talk to her, her friends showed up and they left.

Same thing happened alot until it's 8pm and the vodka he found disgusting at first was now empty. The world spinned in his eyes like the lights and people were in a dancing number he was foreign to. But he IS an alien, a foreign species.

Thinking it would be weird to stay still, he stood up and swayed his body. Even laughed at himself… but then another laugh came in. 

A man with glasses touched his back.

Then, besides the fact that Violin finally had a long fruitful conversation with someone, everthing else was a blur.

Humans shouldn't know about aliens yet. Or bad things might happen.

Report #2: I almost messed up after drinking "alcohol", a substance that makes you tell secrets. But even in my drunken state, I thought about the mission so now I'm an entomologist. Also, I made a friend named Piano who wears this black "glasses", something humans use to see(apparently they have the vision of a BLUE). 

He said he goes to bars to meet out-of-the-place people and chose me for dancing weirdly. That he's always been interested in what's being hidden on purpose and that drinking reveals at least some of these secrets. Though I don't know what he's talking about. He's a bit eccentric.

After constantly fawning over how weirder, the better in this world, I could really only deem him intelligent when apparently, he was also a researcher. Of the human brain. A neurologist.

And he's not just intelligent, he was a genius. The youngest top neurologist on Earth who has won 2 Nobel Prizes which is like the equivalent of our Revolutionary Awards.

And this "coffee", which he gave me to feel better, couldn't taste any less bitter.

Report #3: It's been a week with Piano and I learned so much. He took me to a university, a place where humans study coz apparently, he's also a teacher. I met so many humans. It was fun but also tiring. They were new yet familiar. They're just like us. 

Report#6: Piano could play an instrument similar to what I used to play. It's weird to know someone who is like so out of reach but does the same things. It's weird…

Report#11: Piano gave me keys to his place. If one is capable of trusting, they can also be trusted. Right?

Report#13: Piano introduced me to a "board game" and I kept losing. So we played for hours. 

Report#18: Piano has a basement.

Report#19: Piano is such a nice person that I wish he wasn't.

Report #20: There were 5 stages in the plan: Investigate human world, meet adults, tell someone I'm an alien, send other aliens to Earth through a signal, then hopefully come back to N2 whole. I'm now at the fourth.

And there are 3 outcomes: Aliens and humans acknowledge each other peacefully, they avoid each other, or aliens invade Earth. Though The Board will still decide based on my reports dumping too much responsibility in my hands.

I had only told Piano about the whole plan and the aliens will first visit his home. He was delighted. His tall height, brown hair, and big black-rimmed glasses made him look like a happy innocent giant dog. When the aliens came and showed their natural form, he looked like a child despite his size so the visitors, who were accustomed to assorted sizes, mistook him as one if it weren't for me.

Then I got a call. My apartment was on fire so I had to leave, trusting my kind to my friend. It was night when I came back with everything I could save from the fire. I knocked only to get no response. So with the keys Piano gave me, I made my way in. Only to be surrounded by darkness.

It was quiet. For some reason, I didn't look for any other rooms but stood by the staircase leading down to the basement. My intuition was telling me to. When I got to the door, I pulled out my keys and tested if one of them was right. Until it clicks.

And there I saw humans in lab gowns tainted with blood and the corpses of my kind lying on hospital beds. It wasn't just one human who did this but only one mattered, standing by a body and smiling at me…

I thought you were my friend.

Report #2(Ripped out): I fucked up. I drank alcohol that exposed myself. It's only the second day and everything's already ruined. It's haunting me. It's because I thought I could be better than that guy. If he was the one here, everything would've turned out peaceful. And perfect.

But he wasn't the one here.

Violin was an ugly BLUE alien but he was special. A genius.

When he was chosen to be the first alien to meet humans, everyone was surprised. One being that he was the lowest type there, and another was that The Board really acknowledged his skills, they didn't choose the second, the safe option which was a YELLOW, one of the TOP 3's.

"Cello."

Cello looked at Violin. "You look mad."

"I'm not. Just lacking sleep."

"Makes sense."

"Congrats. For being chosen."

"Thanks. We all worked hard… You don't really look like you're happy for me though and I get it but- I wish this doesn't ruin our friend-"

"It doesn't! And… if I was the one chosen, you wouldn't wanna end our friendship too right?"

"Of course… not."

"Seems to me you're lying."

"No it's cuz-"

"I'm going. I have work to do."

"Cello! You know… I'll just back out."

"Why???"

"Because… I don't want it as much as you."

"Violin, do you think humans are nice?"

"I… don't know but I wish they are. I wish this will be a universe where aliens can get along with humans."

"That's it. Maybe that's also why you were chosen. Because you're positive. While I think humans would be just like us. Selfish."

"Cello, I'm fine with the way things are… I rather not go than make you hate me-"

"I ALREADY DO, VIOLIN! I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU!" is what Cello wanted to say but didn't. 

He was always jealous of him. How couldn't he when Violin's always been smarter, more famous… And he's nice to boot. Cello was an introvert who grew up with parents, both also researchers, who pressured him. Although he was rich and ended up being smart too, he couldn't make real friends. One reason being was he didn't know how, and another was because he had attitude problems.

When someone does better than him, he goes on a rampage. One time he burned someone's house when he beat him at a Scrabble-like game(it was fine because aliens can easily put out fire). It got out and everyone avoided him or insulted him so since then, he suppressed all the hate inside of him.

Until he met Violin, his first real friend.

At first, they were on par, then he started getting higher grades and grades were everything to Cello. And then he realized Violin was really just the smarter one. He can understand faster and analyze things better. And since he was the eldest child of a family below middle class, he's become accustomed to talking with aliens. Also loved aliens.

He was great unlike Cello.

"Ok, but he's still a BLUE." which he thought was a good enough reason to keep the friend he was jealous of but also loved. 

Until that day.

That day Violin could've been known by the universe.

If only Cello accepted it.

"THAT INSECT!" Cello shouts to the sink. "All of them.. Bunch of insects.." he heaved as if out of breath. "So fucking stupid… for not.. choosing me.."

He looked up to his reflection.

Then he stood straight. Emotions dispersed from his once fuming face.

He slammed the door open to stomp his way across the laboratory's hallway, all determined to his path.

"I can't be just ordinary. I'm a YELLOW. It was luck that I even got here. So it shouldn't be unthinkable if an outsider gets crossed out of the picture! Or out of this world! I mean that's what he's always been right?! Coz he's a genius!"

He opened the door to the room he told them to meet. Happily, Violin greeted him while Cello greeted him with an extended arm to his face, leaving a giant bleeding hole with gooey insides when he took it out.

Cello smiled. "And yet he's dead! And I'm alive!"

And as he was gonna get rid of the evidence, he noticed an open notebook. There on a page said, 

I thought you were my friend.

Dread took over Cello's body. Not because he realized he just killed his longtime friend but because he predicted his death.

A genius until the end.

Who knew exactly who he was.

Identity theft is illegal in N2, and aliens can shapeshift to anything they have seen. Alien's hearts, though, keep changing. If human hearts beat to show it's alive, alien hearts change shapes every human heartbeat. And there's a device that can distinguish hearts, which they use to avoid identity theft.

But Cello only had to put Violin's heart over his for a while and randomly change its shape. Because the device can only scan the outside of the heart, and there are patterns on it that even when they keep changing would still be distinct to the owner.

Cello was the first one to get away with identity theft. In a way, a legend but fortunate not to be known.

So then he was Violin, an ugly BLUE alien but in Earth, a beautiful and perfect man.

In Earth, he was Violin.

"I thought to give the world a chance. To show how wrong it was to do me like that. To deprive me of happiness. Of anything from this world. But on just the second day, because of a single mistake of being drunk, I already told him I'm an alien, not this new entity that I could be… And what's worse is that he didn't punish me… The human, with his genius brain, already knew that aliens would come. He wasn't surprised and even accepted me for who I am. He also told me he could be my real friend and of course, I didn't accept. Nothing was acceptable then… But he insisted. He even gave me keys to his house… Even turned the basement which he used as a study room into my own bedroom. He was far too nice for an alien like me that I thought… He must be loving it. Seeing me below him. But I am an alien. Stronger than a meek human. It was luck that I even got here. So let it stay that way and let me be unknown forever and ever."

Violin closed the notebook he wrote for reports exactly like the old Violin.

Report#21: Out of panic, I ran and sent the red signal. I still can't believe he betrayed me. That all that he said about "the new" tricked me into thinking he just had a childlike wonder but instead he wanted to experiment on us. Of course. He was a researcher for GOD'S SAKE. I'M STUPID. FUCKING STUPID. I'M VIOLIN AND I'M STUPID. Of course, whatever will benefit them is more important to them. They're self-centered and apathetic just like in the books! If only I had a share of that coz even now I still want to forgive him even though I was at fault for trusting him!

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DONE BEING THE USUAL NICE VIOLIN.

THEY NEED TO SUFFER.

BECAUSE WHAT DID US ALIENS DO TO THEM?!

THEY TORTURED OUR KIND OUT OF THIRST TO BECOME BETTER.

BUT WE ARE BETTER. ALWAYS WERE AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

One day in the laboratory with The Board and the top researchers, the plan was being discussed. 

Someone raised their hand. "What if they're cruel? Can we hurt them?" 

To which The Board replied, "No. At the least, the researcher must send a red signal and return back immediately. Otherwise, it will draw us attention, giving light to our existence, in which they may see the casualty as our intention. And we are too intelligent to start a war."

Everyone nodded their heads approvingly. Except for one.

"But what if they wanted war?" asked Cello. "What if they'll do anything to overpower us?"

"Then I guess we'll be moving on to Plan C. Invade Earth."

Violin looked down on Piano who was sleeping peacefully in the basement. He started sleeping there when Violin was constantly having nightmares about the old Violin.

It was just a small bed and Violin, who was used to a big one should've felt suffocated, instead felt warm.

But the nightmares will never stop unless he puts an end to them himself.

So he twisted Piano's body, breaking his limbs along the way and waking him up with immediate unbearable pain. He kept doing it even when he struggled and screamed until his voice became hoarse. It was when Piano's head was crushed by his own legs when all the noise was over.

The last thing he uttered was his name.

"Cello." Not I hate you or I'll never forgive you. Just his name. Eccentric all the way to the end, which Cello couldn't say he liked.

Now, what lay next to him was a crumpled Piano. No longer warm.

Report#20(Ripped Out): Right when the aliens arrived, I killed them happily. Insects. I thought it'd be easy to kill Piano too that night like I decided to. But it took weeks and months and maybe longer if I didn't have the nightmares. Fuck you Violin. I'll beat you, you'll see. You'll have a worse ending than me killing Piano.

Report #22: I killed him. But instead of feeling happy and hopeful for the future, I feel like I lost everything. I'm sorry, my planet, my home, but I don't want to do this anymore. I can't bear the thought of living in a universe where there are humans. They're cruel and selfish. And now that they know about us, I hope you know not to get fooled. Know better than to think that together, we'll be at peace.

After staring at Piano's crumpled corpse for an hour, he set down the report notebook next to it. Then, he went up all the way to look down on the busy nightlife of a city from Piano's rooftop.

"Here we are with the subjects. But what if the researcher was the problem? What if, after years of hardwork, I fuck it all up? 

All I want is my apology from the world.

Because nothing was my fault.

This is just what the world gets from making me feel

Like an insect."

He climbed up the railing, shut his eyes and took in the cold air of the night. But then he started tearing up, not knowing himself why. But he took something out of his pocket and when he dropped it, maybe the reason would go away too.

And finally he took a step to the sky. And just like that his body followed the sound of the keys.

The story of Violin spread, causing sorrow and anger in aliens without anyone knowing it was just well, a story. The story behind the war.

Written by Cello.