Sokomon

This is Something Like a Journal I Guess.
To remind myself, that I have a Plan. A Plan Which I must follow....
Which will Make me The Northern Duke Of The Modern Earth. It's an ideal plan. But, It's there. And it's mine.
I, SOKOMON, PLAN ON ACTUALLY BECOMING A NORTHERN DUKE ON THIS WORLD.
THIS BOOK IS MERELY A JOURNAL I'M KEEPING WHILE I'M STILL THAT PATHETIC MOB-LIKE SOKOMON.
BUT, I'M GROWING. I NEED TO GROW. I WILL GROW.

In order to Become My Ideal Self, I'll Start an evolution in me on my own....

MY JOURNEY TO BECOME MY IDEAL SELF!

Today, Another event happened in my life worth noting down.

Tomorrow's my last exam, I haven't studied shi..., and it's around 21:00 right now.

I'm disturbed. OR something like that.

I had a convo with someone I'm kinda close with. They decided to end the friendship. As usual, I didn't know jack shit about what I might have done for them to say they were fed up...and shit.

Then, I had a convo with another someone I'm kinda close with. Decided to share my convo with Them to this person. And, He said Fuck! What the hell did you do? It's totally your fault here.

And, I was like....I know. The thing is I don't know what I know.

He rounded it off with, YOU SOUND LIKE A SELF-CENTERED AND DULL person.

Then, I traced back every action I have chosen until now.

And, concluded that I am a self-centred person.

I mean, it's the worst combination...

Like, You are both Self Centered and Ignorant about it.

Fuck! That's gonna cost me more than just a few friendships in real life.....

And the thing is, It's engraved in my roots....I don't wanna not be self-centred.

So, I must learn how to speak. I NEED COMMUNICATION SKILLS....

LIKE KOMI SAN...BUT, SHE'S A BEAUTY...SO, SHE CAN GET IT OVER WITH!

MY APPEARANCE IS NOT WHAT ANYONE WOULD CONSIDER A BEAUTY.

I'm more like Ordinary. At everything. Fk!

I have found one large flaw in myself. And, this time....I'm scared of it.

It might ruin my whole life If I were to stay as AN IGNORANT SELF-CENTERED TRASH.

At least, let me be a recyclable one.

I'm grateful to have such friends...to be direct enough to let me in on this flaw!

I have to destroy this shit all together.

It's a big hurdle towards my dream to become my ideal self.

For real, tomorrow's my freaking exam. That's a headache on another level.

And, Here I am. Writing shits about my life...

But, It feels like, I need to write it down. To erase it from my brain, so that I can study till at least 00:00.

Damn! I don't seem to calm down. What should I do?

Shit! Even meditation is not working.

Shit! Do I have to feel like trash every time?

Damn! To grow, I need to endure this hit.

I regret being this level of a mess.

I regret thinking, The world revolves around me.

I regret choosing to be an all-goody-shoes.

I'm thankful for you to let me see.

I'm thankful that you let me know.

I see, why some rappers are great at rapping,

I'm not gonna satisfy myself with wishful shit.

I would rather be hurt than stay as a foolish mob.

This feels great. I'm happy now that I have unloaded some shit.

I wish to do some studying now... to not fail!

Damn! This exam has been such a shitty event in my life!

this month was very very very very very very hard.

And, I was born in this month as well...

Thanks for letting me blow some steam again! Journal san.

1) I don't make the same mistake twice.

2) So, I won't be Self- Centered anymore. I promise I'll be more conscious about it in my future convos.

3) I still am trying hard to not stay ignorant and dull anymore. I promise I won't be ignorant about the other party's perspective.

DON'T BE SELF-CENTERED IN YOUR CONVERSATIONS. TRY TO BE CONSCIOUS ABOUT THE OTHER'S PERSPECTIVE...AND RESPECT THAT!

PLEASE DON'T BE A SELF-CENTERED IGNORANT TRASH WHO ONLY CARES ABOUT WHAT HE THINKS!!!

24. Hahaha.... I'm Disturbed.