The Guilt Of Decisions

Where is your card' the nurse asked my mother. We where at the government hospital.

'Which card' my mum asked.

'The one they gave you when you deposited some money' The nurse said.

'Aah we haven't made any o' my mum replied.

'OK hurry up and make the deposit either with cash or card or even transfer so I can arrange him to see a doctor as soon as possible, go and pay then hurry and fill this form.'

I came close

'Deposit?' I asked. I looked at Mr Raphael 

'Madam please this is an emergency,' Mr Raphael said. 'Let the doctor check what's wrong with him first before morning we will bring the money.' She laughed.

'Madam' I begged 'please first thing in the morning you'll either see the alert or we will bring it cash.' She just looked at me and eyed like I wasn't talking with my senses or something.

'Nurse Biko.' Mum added.

She just ignored us and continued what she was doing like we didn't even exist. We pleaded and pleaded, mum literally had her legs on the floor 'please my dear my husband is very sick and need medical attention as soon as possible. As my daughter said we will get the money by morning I can't lie to you' pity filled the nurse face. 'Madam it's not like the nurses and doctors are heartless we have just learnt to be realistic that's all.' She explained that when it's obvious a patient can't pay it's really hard to discontinue treatment. We rushed back home and checked if we could see cash at all or even his atm so we could go withdraw, we didn't see it we didn't even know anyone in Aba we could collect loan from that time of the night.

'What do you think we could do Ada' my mother asked looking so drenched and tired.

We carried my dad out of the hospital and went to Maryjane Hospital and they said there is nothing they could do, George hospital promised us we are wasting our time. This made my mother to lose her mind totally.

'Jesus ooo help me! My husband is dying what am I going to do'

'Mummy, please….'I confirmed my dad's pulse again and still noticed pulse 'mummy please calm down.' She continued her talk.

'Why don't we try another hospital' I asked Mr Raphael. Immediately he remembered something 'my wife's brother has an in law whose Aunty's husband is a consultant at the Government hospital.' Mr Raphael said. 'We could go and ask maybe they can help in this situation.' We immediately sped up to the wife's brothers house and he gave us the direction to his in-laws house. Getting there my mother threw herself on the floor as shook the place. 

After assuring us that the hospital won't hesitate to throw us out the next day if we don't pay the fee the senior consultant gave us a signed not addressing the Emergency ward. We sped up to the hospital and flung the written note to the nurse and immediately got my dad attended to in pronto.

'He has a stroke' the doctors said.

He also said my dad's blood temperature is too high and because of not being treated faster he is now in a coma. He could not give a definite prognosis but told the nurses to admit my dad immediately. The hospital lift wasn't working so with my tiny hands I helped Mr Raphael carry my dad with the stairs to the hospital....

Medical ward on the third floor, it wasn't an easy journey in fact I wonder how I didn't faint with this my small body carrying a hefty man on my shoulder 'omo'.

At the ward some nurses rushed to us to carry my dad from us while another was at the door telling us not to enter. Mr Raphael rushed down stairs to get the letter and the nurse at the door let us in immediately on seeing the letter.

'You can spend the night here' she said, 'but it isn't in here you will have to pay for a more private room to stay in.' At that point we didn't mind at all although it was an expensive alternative.

Inside the room my dad was given it was disinfected, the walls were cracked the bed was rusty and didn't have bedsheets or even pillow case. 'Your meant to bring your personal stuff with you when coming to the hospital' the nurse said. After my dad was placed on the bed they put the oxygen mask on him, the drew his blood and collected it, he was put drip and inserted tubes in his nostril and wrist, and he was also put catheter through his penis, after they were done Mr Raphael was ready to leave. 'Thank you so much sir for your help and all you've done today' 'we really appreciate it, if not for you I wonder what the fate of my husband would have been.' 'We really appreciate.' 'The pleasure is all mine Ma,' Mr Raphael said smiling. 'I'll visit tomorrow to see how he is doing Ok…' 

'Ada why don't you follow him home and let me stay with your dad this night,' mum said. 'No mum you should follow him you need the rest more,' I replied. She immediately took a seat beside her husband's bedside and shook her head firmly right and left making it known that's it's a No.

I escorted Mr Raphael to his Car. It was as he went that I really noticed people sleeping on mats on every corner of the hospital. The nurse wasn't even being sarcastic when she said we could sleep there.

I'myone who doesn't have a relative.' With the look on the nurse face she looked really irritated and the last thing we wanted was someone who had my dad's life in her hands to be angry and furious over a very minor issue. I presumed my mum felt the same way because she handed me the list and pinched my thigh to keep quiet. The nurse removed some wires out of my dads nose and left the room. As soon the nurse left, my mum looked at me. 

'Ada, please hurry up and go to the house and get the Cheque booklet to our joint account. It is inside my box. Bring it ASAP so I can sign some check so you go to the bank to withdraw it OK.' 'I would have gone instead but I really want to see the doctor so he can explain some things to me properly, please be fast you know they admitted your dad on trust.' 

At the bank it was really a days job cause the queue was something I couldn't even stand. 

If only my parents have gotten a card for their bank or an app I wouldn't have to be standing in line, or maybe also transfer the money into one of the accounts this whole thing is really exhausting. I also have my final GCE exam by this afternoon after I was done with the bank plus. I really miss my only friend Mr Emeka I always go to him for advice and his words of encouragement is what I needed at the moment with my father's situation to be very honest he would have really helped me health.

I went for my exam and wrote my last paper successfully and decided since I still have a bit of time maybe I could go see if Mr Emeka is back because he isn't picking his phone call and also see if he will want to come along cause he gives me emotional support all the time. As usual his mum that loves me was pleased to see me and hugged me. I waited in the parlor to see him, his mother came out and told me he is sleeping and doesn't want to see anyone at the moment, so I pleaded with his mum at that point he was my only friend that I had caught feelings for and I guess it's one sided at my young age I know I'm not meant to have a love life but here I am I really can't help it. 

After a while Mr Emeka came out of his room in a polo and Joggers with an expression on his face like he is very irritated at everything and everyone. I greeted him good afternoon and he sat on the opposite chair like I was a disease or something.

'My dad is really ill and was admitted in the hospital last night,' I said. 'He was diagnosed of stroke.' 'Stroke? Jesus! How come? How is he feeling now?

'I'm on my way to the hospital now I'm coming from the back I just wanted to see you first. How are you?' I really thought he would have considered escorting me back to the hospital. But all of a sudden he frowned his face and looked even more irritated like I've done something really wrong or I've offended him in a wrong way