Luck in the candle 1

He couldn't see anything. Wherever he looked in the gloom, his gaze ended up on the cold stone, bars or wooden beams of the bed, which was as comfortable as the ground itself. He mostly sat on it anyway. In the early years, he tried to stay near the bars, where there was more light than in the back of the cell. He was looking through them at the corridor, from which he could see only a blank wall anyway. The main corridor was built perpendicular to all the cells, covered in niches about a meter long, through which the prisoners couldn´t see anything.

But his own cell was even more special. It was located at the end of the most underground corridor, where only a minimum of guards went and nothing could be heard. Speaking was not allowed throughout the prison. The prisoners never met each other and the only person who was in contact with them, their guard, was strictly forbidden to speak. The entire prison was filled with silence and darkness.

It took a month before he got used to the gloom with his senses, but mentally he could never get used to the lack of sun. That's why he sat by the bars, where the light from the lit torches in the corridor reached at least dimly. He sat and wondered what was going on outside, how everything would change without him, how it had already changed. He tried not to despair, he tried to stay sane, and somewhere in the back of his mind he hoped that Luck wasn't angry with him, that things would get better one day...though in reality he knew that he was just naively wishing for that.

He hated the dark, hated the silence and loved people. When he was free he loved everything the world had to offer. Now when he had no access to that, he suddenly couldn't remember why he used to be so happy. He needed at least something...not much, at least a few words, at least some sign that he still existed, that someone saw him, that he wasn't completely alone.

But he was.

In the first years, he didn't admit it that much. He knew that when he looked through the bars, he would see behind the stone niche the dark shadow of the guard always standing next to his cell. Rue didn't know who it was, didn't know if he was still the same or if they were alternating, but that didn't matter at the moment. Because the most important thing was that he had someone to talk to. And he spoke.

"Hi...I'm Rue," he started almost every day, just in case it was someone else, "What's your name?" he asked even though he knew he wouldn't get an answer, "You don't have to answer, never mind," he smiled, "Can I call you Qie?" he asked, "I'm taking silence as consent," he pointed out, leaning against the bars trying to see if the shadow moved even a little bit.

However, Rue spoke to him again the next day, "Hi, I'm Rue, I don't know if it's still you, but I'll call you Qie," he smiled, "Can I tell you what dream I had today?" he didn't even know what he was asking.

"Hi, I'm Rue, maybe you already know, maybe not, but I'll call you Qie," he said the next day, "today I dreamed that we were in a meadow counting flowers... there were some ordinary people, we helped them decorate their houses for the celebration," he continued. "remember that? We were there for two days, no one knew if we would stay for the festival, but in the end we stayed...you were pleased...I was also pleased...we had fun with people all night," he smiled, ,,Do you remember?" he asked, though he didn't expect the guard to say anything, "It was recently," he added, pausing for a moment as he didn't really know how much time had passed since the incident happened, "at least I think so," he added more quietly, , "It was recently, wasn't it?"

However, he didn´t receive an answer. And the days went on.

"Hi, Qie," he sat down again by the bars after the guard arrived, "I'm a little thirsty...could you just bring me a glass of water? For a few days...you haven't brought me any," he tried and when he didn't get an answer again, he smiled gently, "that water for washing is not drinkable," he looked at a small natural pond about a square meter in size, where he could bathe, "couldn't you? At least a little? I won't tell anyone."

But he got nothing.

"Hello, Qie...please, would you bring me some water?" he tried again the next day, as he didn't know how else to ask something.

But he got nothing.

"Hi Qie," he sat by the bars and looked at the dull shadow on the ground, "I'm...really thirsty," he smiled, "please...could you bring me some water...I won't tell anyone ...please." he tried.

But nothing happened. A few full days passed and Rue was beginning to wonder if he had received a new kind of punishment from the king in addition to the one he had already received. He used to get water every day and now he hasn't for two weeks. He knew he wasn't going to die...he wouldn't die even if he hadn't eaten or drunk for years...but that didn't mean he wasn't thirsty. So he drank from the pond in the corner of the cell, but the only thing he got was spasmodic pains, since the water was really not drinkable...and even poisonous for ordinary people.

"Hi, Qie," he said more quietly by the bars, "my stomach hurts," he admitted, "I'm...really sick," he added, "please," he stammered, "can I have...some water? Please." he smiled softly, trying to hold back his tears, how sad he suddenly felt.

It didn't help that he still didn't know if the guard was the same one he addressed every day or if he was still addressing someone else. It didn't help that no one answered him, so he didn't know if there really was a guard or if the shadow was just a figment of his imagination. He knew nothing...and the days went on.

"Hi Qie," he mumbled, "do y-you think the Luck hates me?" he asked differently one day, as he was starting to wonder if he would never get even a glass of water again, "I didn't dream for a few days," he admitted, "usually, Luck at least tells me something...or gives me a nice dream...but for a few days now...I haven't dreamed, it hasn't told me anything," he smiled exhaustedly, "do you think," he couldn't figure out what was going on, why Luck was angry at him right now, when all the things had already happened, , "do y-you think Luck hates me?" he blinked softly as his vision began to blur.

But he didn't say more. A few bitter tears rolled down his cheeks, though he didn't know where they had come from after so many days without water. He slowly pulled his knees to his chest and gently wiped his tears on the dirty clothes he had no way of changing since he was locked up. He tried to calm down, he tried to stop the tears, he tried to cheer himself up with other thoughts than he usually could...but it didn't work...suddenly nothing worked and he sobbed out loud after a while.

But he didn't say anything. He didn´t speak to the guard, whom he didn´t even know if he was really standing by the cell. He just wept lightly on his knees and waited for the feeling of despair to pass, waited for it to get better. But he didn't know if that would ever happen.

The next day, when the old torches were exchanged for new ones, Rue woke up again. He carved a line into one of the walls with a sharper stone and went back to the bars.

In the cells, torches from the corridor were the only source of information that a new day had indeed begun. He didn't get food regularly, he didn't see water for a long time, and he never even noticed the arrival of the guards. That's why only burned-out torches said it was time for a new line on the wall.

"Hi Qie," he greeted exhausted, "I'm still not dreaming," he repeated, "do you think there's a point in being here when Luck hates me?" he asked in an almost silent voice, but no one answered, "I thought that if at least Luck wasn't angry with me, that I would be able to live anywhere," he whispered, "that maybe in time it would really forgive me and that I would be able to live anywhere while it was still with me," he added, "that I can endure it here," he looked at the wall opposite the bars full of lines, how many years had he been sitting here, "but if Luck hates me too...why am I even here?" he asked more quietly, "When Luck hates me, does it means, that I was left alone?" he was silent.

He just stared at the wall for a while and counted the days he wasn't sure about anymore. He didn't know if he had been sitting here for ten years...fifteen...more...less. He wasn't at all sure.

"Why does Infey live when Luck hates him?" he whispered to himself and blinked away the tears again before he couldn't anymore. Only a few silent drops fell from his eyes, lightly running down his chin onto his dirty clothes before he could hold them anymore. He dropped his face to his knees again and mumbled:

"P-please...c-couldn't I have...at least some water? I-I need...at least some water...please, Qie," he sobbed, "please, I just," he cried, "I just...r-really d-didn't want to," he admitted "I´m s-sorry...I didn't know...I-I-" a sudden clink next to the bars interrupted his desperate flow of thought and made Rue look up tearfully.

His golden eyes landed on the black robes of the man who handed him a glass of water near the bars. Since all the guards walked around completely covered, he couldn´t see his face through the hood. However, Rue didn't care who it was, he didn't care that it wasn't Qie he knew. All he needed was the knowledge that there was a person standing before him, a real being after years of solitude.

He pulled himself up on his knees and grabbed the bars: "Qie?" he addressed the guard who hesitated for a moment. And Rue didn't even expect him to say anything.

However, he made a mistake and the words suddenly came from the guard's lips: "It was the king's order, nothing more," he whispered, "Luck has nothing to do with it." he said and just as quickly as he came out from behind the wall he returned to his seat, leaving Rue with mixed feelings.

A surge of joy, happiness and new hope overcame all negative emotions in a second, and he just pulled the glass of water towards him. He drank it all down with a thirsty gulp and brought a happy smile to his face that he hadn't been able to do for some time. He laughed softly and put the glass aside, sat down by the bars and drew his knees together:

"Thank you...thank you...thank you very much. Luck with you…thank you." he said to the guard who remained silent.

At that moment, Rue was really happy. He didn't need confirmation that the guard's words were true, it was enough that he heard them from someone, it was enough that someone gave him a glimmer of hope.

That day he had a beautiful dream again.

But when he woke up, it was dark everywhere. At first he thought that he had just gotten up early, that the torches had gone out and he hadn´t had time to rekindle them. So he tried to sleep again. But nothing has changed. The corridor was dim, as if the torches were burning only a minimal part of the corridor and the rest remained in darkness. Rue could barely see the outline of his own cell, and try as he might, he couldn't even make out the guard's shadow in the corridor, he couldn't see anything.

"Qie?" he asked in the gloom that he couldn't get used to right away, "Qie?" he didn't need to hear his voice like yesterday, it would be enough if he let him know that he was really standing here.

However, nothing was happening and another point was added to the previous problems. The only thing that let him know that a new day had begun was gone. The darkness didn´t disappear, the cells were only dimly lit by the constant fire from the corridor, and Rue could not distinguish the boundaries between the beginning of night and the beginning of day. He couldn't record them anymore, he couldn't figure out how long he'd been here, he couldn't do anything. And no matter how much he told himself that it wasn't such a problem, his insides began to panic more and more with each vague day.

The feeling that there was a guard at his cell disappeared. As he tried to speak through the bars, he didn't feel like anyone was listening and Rue began to wonder what had happened, where the guard had gone.