Omake: (Not) A Pseudo-Mom (ft. Ukyo)

My name is Asahina Ukyo, and I'm the second oldest son in the family.

Being a lawyer means I'm busy for most of the year, but I try not to let work get in the way of spending time with my family. Mom is away at work, so taking care of the others falls to all of us. For me, that means handling cooking. 

Breakfast and dinner are my share of the chores. Lunch is a possibility, but most of my brothers make their own or buy them at work. I don't mind making lunches for everyone, but it can be a stretch on days when I work overtime. Begrudgingly, I concede this duty most days, even if it means they might order out for one meal a day.

Happily, when Rintarou married my mother and brought Ema into the family, things changed for the better. I enjoy having someone else to help out in the kitchen. Since cooking is my job none of the others have taken much of an interest. Even if they did, I can't imagine anyone appreciating the hard work and finer flavours that go into a delicious meal. 

Subaru, for one, gravitates toward meals packed with salt and umami—befitting for an athlete, but still. I wish that little brother of mine put more fruits and vegetables into his meal plan. I can only hope that whatever they're feeding him at Meiji keeps him happy and healthy. 

As for Tsubaki... He'll eat whatever I put in front of him unless it's completely out of his purview. Wataru is similar; both of them could eat a bucket of fast-food fried chicken without batting an eye. So unhealthy.

Ema is about the only person in the house who takes an interest in food. She and I spend many evenings discussing what we should make for dinner. She doesn't always have the time to help out, but she lets me know in advance if school will keep her away. 

Thus, one can imagine my surprise when I come home to find another girl in the house.

Her shoulders are hunched inward, her nervousness at being at someone else's house apparent. She is about the same height as Ema, and she has a number of bags with her. My instincts tell me to gather more information before worrying about what's happened, but I can't help but be concerned about what this means. 

Regardless, she is with Ema, so it must be important.

"Oh, hello," I say, putting on my politest smile. "You must be Ema's friend."

"Mai," she says. Her gaze is unfocused. They've just come from the elevator, and given who else is at home right now I can guess who they must have met. 

I do hope Yusuke and Fuuto were polite.

"Are you... Kyo-san?" Mai asks. 

Hearing it from someone outside the family catches me off guard. 

I chuckle. "Did you hear that from the others?"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" She ducks her head in apology. "Is that not your name?" 

"My name's Ukyo," I say. "Some of my brothers call me Kyo-nii as a nickname." Under normal circumstances she might have addressed me as "Asahina," but since there are so many of us I imagine that would be confusing. 

Mai ducks her head further, though less from embarrassment and more from shyness. It's always interesting to see how people will react to learning about our large family. Ema has been part of the family for well over a year now, yet not many of her friends have been invited home. I doubt most of them are aware that she now has thirteen brothers. 

"Ema's told me a little about you," Mai continues.

I raise my eyebrow. Now that is interesting. It's not often I get to hear what Ema's friends think of the family. I hope we haven't been too much of a bother that she'd have negative things to say. 

Mai looks right at me, suddenly confident. "I hear you're a cook?"

Wait. A cook?

I glance over at Ema, who blushes. 

Maybe Ema hasn't talked much about us at all. 

The possibility of that makes me a little sad.

"I'm actually a lawyer," I say, "But I do a lot of the cooking around here." I omit that I'm practically the only one who does any cooking, but as it was a mutual agreement amongst us brothers I have no complaints. 

Ema's squirrel pops up from behind her and utters a squeak. My smile stiffens as I recall him jumping at my face when Ema first came to live with us. I grip the spoon I was holding, ready to leap into action should the little furball attempt to maul our guest.

"Huh? Pseudo-mom?" Mai murmurs. 

I have no idea where she heard that phrase, but I know for a fact it couldn't have been Ema. It must have been one of the others. 

My eyes narrow.

I might to have a word with Yusuke and Fuuto later...

"Ah, the boys do like to call me that sometimes, but it's a little embarrassing."

At times like these I am glad that my lawyer skills come in handy. Pretending to remain unfazed when you are annoyed is crucial when dealing with both clients and your bosses. However, since I'm at home I do tend to relax a little. 

Mai doesn't seem disturbed, and from there she moves on to talk with Ema. While the girls talk in the living room, the squirrel perched between them as though part of the conversation, I step back into the kitchen and resume preparations for dinner. 

Masaomi arrives minutes later, having parked the car downstairs. He greets the girls and then me, and steps into the kitchen. 

"Welcome back," I say. "How are things?"

Masaomi puts on a smile. "It was alright. Well, actually, it was pretty bad for Tsukiyo-san." He glances over toward the living room. Tsukiyo Mai clutches her bag close to her chest as she squints to get a better look at the squirrel. 

"What happened, exactly?" 

"By the time Ema and I got there the whole building was sectioned off," Masaomi explains. He goes on to retell how Mai got off from work, only to learn that her apartment was flooded on account of poor building regulations. I can't help but grimace. The law covers rentals to some degree, but it's not as highly prioritized as other sectors. That is something I do feel concern about as an older brother and a lawyer.

"Is she alright?" I ask. 

"She's fine for now," Masaomi says. "Ema asked if we can have her over to stay, so I said yes."

I'm surprised by his response. We haven't had anyone over to stay in ages, much less a girl. I didn't expect Masaomi to approve of another girl staying over so quickly, but I personally have no objections. Tsukiyo Mai is Ema's friend, and Ema would not ask for help unless she was important to her. 

I put on the kettle, anticipating that the poor girl could use some tea. 

"It must have been very bad if she couldn't recover all of her things. Have you let the others know yet?"

The worst thing that could come of this is resistance from the others, just as there was when Ema first moved in. Of course, Mai would only be staying temporarily, but even so. She seems to be around Ema and Yusuke's age, so I can only imagine what conflicts could arise between her and my brothers. 

"I'll let everyone know," Masaomi says. "If possible, I think we should help Mai-san stay as long as she needs to. She looked pretty distressed earlier. Ema says that she's from out of town as well, so it's not like she can stay with family right now."

"Ah." As a student, it would make sense for Mai to be from outside of Tokyo. I don't know where away her family is from, but if it were me, I know I'd feel anxious on my own in the largest city in the country. Ema must have asked her to stay knowing this. It brings a smile to my face that she would show her friends such kindness. 

"As her older brothers, let's help Ema out," I say. 

Masaomi agrees. "Mai-san was worried about imposing on us, so if it becomes too much then we can always ask her to help out."

I shake my head. "We shouldn't make a guest do our chores. She must already be stressed about having to find a new place to live, so I think we can worry about that if it comes to it." 

Meaning, if Mai ends of staying for a very long time we can discuss her future plans. So far I don't know her enough, but if she's anything like Ema I don't foresee any issues on my part. It will not be a problem to host a friend of our family, and if memory serves me right, this could be the Tsukiyo-san who helped Ema when she first started university. This seems like a good chance to repay her for that time.

With our plans in place, Masaomi goes to get ready for his shift. I'll need to put aside some leftovers for him as well. 

I make the tea and deliver a cup to Mai. She's still on edge, owing to her being in a completely new place surrounded by strangers. 

"Let me know if you need anything," I tell her. After what she's been through a nice hot meal will do her good. "Ema-san, I can take care of dinner tonight. Why don't you help Mai-san settle in?"

"Oh, are you sure?" Ema asks. She usually helps me prepare dinner, but since we are now hosting her friend it would be better if she stayed with her. Mai must surely be uncomfortable with Ema's older brothers standing around like this.

"We can both help out," Mai offers. 

"Oh, it's no trouble. You're our guest, Mai-san. After what you've been through today you deserve to take a rest."

She surprises me again by insisting to help out. It seems I'll have to revaluate my impressions of her. She is similar to Ema in this regard. 

As the three of us enter the kitchen and continue with dinner prep, I learn more about Mai and how she came to Tokyo for school. She remains stiff at first, but over time starts to relax. Ema being here definitely helps, and the two fall into a friendly chat about their evening plans. 

I move onto making the roux for the curry, reminding myself to ask Masaomi if he'll be free later to give them a ride to the store. 

That's when Mai notices my homemade curry roux. 

"I like to make my own when I can," I tell her. "It can be a lot healthier and more suited to one's taste."

"I like adding a pinch of cayenne powder to mine," she says. 

Well! I think my impressions of her are officially favourable.

"Do you make your own roux as well?" 

"Kaasan taught me how. We use a basic recipe, but I like mine more on the spicy side."

Ema grins as I flip into chef-mode and discuss flavourings with Mai. I can't remember the last time I talked to someone who was as passionate about food as me. Ema aside, no one else in this house ever listens when I try to talk about ingredients or the history of cooking. 

Initially, I thought Mai was humouring me, but as we continue cooking I can tell that she's genuinely interested in the culinary arts. We discuss other meals that can be made depending on the ingredients available and the crowd we're cooking for. She even mentions food from other regions. Colour me impressed. 

If the rest of Tsukiyo Mai's stay will look like this then I will personally ensure that we always have spicy flavours on hand for her to use. Having someone else around who understands quality meals and healthy living will be a breath of fresh air in this house of uninterested men. 

Unfortunately, our passionate discussion is interrupted by Tsubaki and Azusa, the former of whom seems to have made it his life's goal to alienate any and every girl who sets food in this house. 

"Oho. Does Kyo-nii have a girlfriend?"

"Well, if you ever want a tour guide, I'd be happy to show you around."

"I'm a voice actor, and I'd love to practice lines with you sometime."

I fight the urge to shove him into the next room and unleash a stern lecture on how to behave properly in front of guests. But I am merely an older brother, and Tsubaki is a grown adult who would not listen regardless. 

My deepest apologies, Tsukiyo-san. I promise that not all of my brothers are like this.

Just as I move to apologize, Mai pulls a scowl so intense that I'm reminded of when my mother scolded my brothers and me as children. She fends off Tsubaki without breaking a sweat, and although my younger brother isn't fazed, Mai holds her ground. 

Aha. Perhaps I won't have to worry after all.

"Ah, is everything going to be okay?" Ema frets. 

I move to her side and clear my throat. "I think Tsukiyo-san will be just fine. The real question is how long until Tsubaki gets the hint and drops the overbearing flirty act."

"O-Overbearing flirty act?" Ema pales. She turns to Mai, who looks like she'd rather be anywhere else. "I-I should do something."

Thankfully, Tsubaki leaves the room before Ema's intervention is needed. 

"Tsubaki is energetic as usual." I sigh. "I hope he hasn't startled you too much."

Mai stares after him and Azusa. "It's fine. I have a brother, too. It must be something having a whole bunch of them, huh?"

I chuckle, relieved that Mai hasn't taken offence. She may be staying with us for a while, so I'm glad that she doesn't see any of us brothers as unbearable to live with. I'll have to keep an eye on things just in case, and step in if anything gets out of hand. 

But until then I'll remain in my role as the older brother of the household. Like Ema, Mai is almost an adult in her own right, and the last thing she needs is someone else bothering her when it's not wanted. Should she ever need help in the future I will not hesitate to lend a hand. 

So until the day she moves out, I look forward to hosting her as a guest, and to all the future culinary wonders we might discuss in the meantime.