Nightclub

It was his first conversation with Gwen Stacy. The blanket-covered Felix didn't know what to expect.

Gwen Stacy wanted Dr. Faeth, the smartest man. She needed him to target someone. She needed to infiltrate the secret lab hidden under the nightclub.

Felix put in some genuine shock as he recoiled back. "W-w-wait!?"

To sum it up, it was a seduction mission. Sort-of. Kind of. Gwen described the need for the smartest man because the target she was needing liked intellect. But stil, it was pretty out there.

"Gwen, this is just..."

Gwen had her hands on her hips, laughing cutely. "Come on, you're not gonna make a girl go naked, are you?"

"..."

"Right, I'm a hero, I should suck it up. Look, as much as I want to, I physically can't. Not with…this." Gwen gestured to herself, to the alien attached to her. "I can do plenty of cool stuff but taking it off isn't one of those things."

"Is it...a Symbiotic lifeform?"

Gwen sent Hobie a proud smile. "Having the world's smartest makes some explanations so much easier."

"Point is, lad," Hobie said, "you're gonna have to do it for us. My costume, ya see," Hobie gestured to the punk-themed spider-costume, "let's me go invisible. See the metal spike mohawk on my mask?" He lifted the mask, showing Felix. "This thing has the batteries to make us turn invisible. It'll only be active for, like, ten minutes."

"Only ten minutes?"

"It's complicated," Hobie explained briefly. "My shit just isn't compatible with yours."

'I've heard those words once before...with a certain cat and her teleportation device...'

"W-wait, wait, can't you go inside, Hobie? Five minutes is more than enough to sneak through AND you've been here longer than me."

Realistic acting. That was the key here. He had to convince them he was intelligent, weary, good-hearted, and most importantly realistic.

"First off, I'd have no fucking clue where we'd be going. Vibranium fucks up my Spider-Senses."

"And I don't have one," Gwen quipped.

"Second, Ororo doesn't trust me which is why I have no fucking clue about the place."

"She doesn't?"

"I'm something of a missing blank in terms of my history and Ororo, contrary to what she looks, can be a paranoid freak. All the other scientists? They cool. But me? I'm the exotic engineer that makes drones and shit."

"And this Adam Brashear…"

"Never seen up here on the island."

"Oh."

"Yep," Hobie continued, "Ororo is working Adam to the bone—sort of. Technically, he's working M'Baku to the bone. You remember him? His dick is as big as yours."

Gwen gave him the strangest look ever. "What?"

Hobie ignored her. "Point is—M'Baku is my priority. And hers is…something else."

Felix judged her and Gwen could only wear a sheepish smile. "Don't worry, it's nothing evil. It's just…I need it." Her blue eyes darkened. "I need it badly. Or else."

That totally wasn't foreboding.

"Um…can I at least ask why you two are working together? Hobie, you're...I mean…you have a Spider-esque outfit but you're not the Spider-Man from TV." Felix had to be an ignorant civilian after all. "Are you siblings or…?"

They both gave him the flattest look ever.

"Really, bro?" Hobie deadpanned. "Really? Siblings? You think Gwen Anglo-Saxon Stacy is my sister?"

"H-hey, look, I don't know, there's the current Spider-Man in New York, the Spider-Woman of New York, and, uh…"

Hobie crossed his arms. "Spider-Man of Africa?" 

"Yeaaaah? Although, uh, I was thinking of a specific country or city there—"

"I'm from London, mate, London. That's my home, my crib. "

"You can't be from London. Otherwise, you'd be world news."

Hobie paused. "Damn. Shit. Didn't think of that."

"He's from another universe," Gwen explained quickly. Hobie sighed, face-palming, while Felix pretended to be even more shocked at the news. His eyes could only go so wide.

"Another universe? Seriously!? Y-you're from another universe, Hobie!? The multiverse theory...I've theorized it and there was that one piece of tech I saw once..." Felix shook his head, acting like the pieces all came together. "Another universe...how did you get here?"

And that still didn't answer why he was helping Gwen Stacy, the Spider-Woman of Earth 65.

"Look, bruv, I owe this chick and I..." Hobie almost trailed off. "I made a mistake, a lot of bad shit happened, she and I got here, and now we're working together. Happy?"

Felix cocked his head. Both for his acting and genuinely. 'Hobie messed up, bad stuff happened, specifically with Gwen, AND he's from another universe…'

The Spider-Man of Earth 65 recalled his conversation with Czarina: 

"Her name is Felicia Hardy, a thief. I caught her in the middle of a heist attempting to steal the blueprints of SHIELD's greatest weapon, the Super-Collider. It's meant to pull things from other universes here. Diamonds, gold, nuclear weaponry. The battle went haywire and the device went off."

Czarina's expression shifted into that of confusion and maybe even fear.

"Something…something came out of it. Something strange. A Spider-Woman of red rage. The current Spider-Man sprouted something similar except hers was…angrier. Red."

The battle went haywire.

Why? 

Why did the device go off?

"This is just a personal theory of mine but I believe your Gwen Stacy is capable of traversing the multiverse. When the Super-Collider went off, she looked like she was being ripped apart."

That was what Czarina hypothesized but…what did she know about science? About the multiverse? About this Super Collider? Something like that wouldn't just randomly go off. 

'Hobie was there that day. The day Felicia Hardy attempted to steal SHIELD's greatest weapon. The day a terrifying red, Symbiote ripped Gwen Stacy appeared in the Super Collider. And Hobie Brown, by self-admission, can go invisible. So for even Czarina, a superspy, to not notice is within the realm of possibility.'

Considering the technology of his mask too. Like Black Cat's short-range teleporter, it was three stages ahead of today's technology yet not outlandishly futuristic and advanced.

That look on Hobie's face too, the guilt was real. There was real pain. He well and truly owed her. 

'I'm missing something. Why is Gwen Stacy approaching me, the supposed smartest man in the world?' Felix's eyes flicked down to the night sky, then the floor. 'What the hell is on this island? 

"So do you agree to the plan?" Gwen asked, hands on her hips. "Like I said, I could really use your help."

The Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Woman was pumping a chemical into his friends' brains. She wasn't hurting them, technically speaking. He wondered though…if he rejected her, would she get angry? Would she pull a reverse and threaten him?

Felix didn't want to risk the chance. He was too paranoid and curious about whatever was on this island.

"I'll do it." 

"Great then! Oh, but I guess we can't do it today." Gwen looked toward the rising sun. The sky was painted orange. "The sun is coming up. Let's do it tomorrow night, yeah?"

"Sure…"

Gwen flashed him a smile and leapt away. Hobie did the same, albeit with a nod. The legendary Spider-Woman casually snapped the dome shut with her Symbiote tendrils. Almost instantly, the tendrils that had affected the brains of the Defenders snapped. 

Nobody woke up though. 

Only Felix was sitting up on his bed.

***

Felix spent the next day working with Hobie and the other male harem members. Once it was evening and signatures were put down—

"Ay, let's go hit the club, yeah?" Hobie wrapped an arm around Felix, smirking. "Come on, come on. Ay, you guys wanna join?"

A single glance to Felix's dick and they pursed their lips. Craig gave the first verbal response. "I'll be checking up on Her Highness."

Henry Mccoy said, "I'll be heading to the library. For reading."

"I have work to do," William said. 

Yep, all four scientists did not want to associate with Felix Faeth more than they had to. They believed they were used to being nude. Nope. Not when that monster existed. Hobie just laughed. The plan was going well so far. 

Right, the plan.

Felix and Hobie walked out of the castle and took the train to the main town. Usually, the Defenders would watch over but whatever Gwen did to them knocked them out for a long, long time.

"Don't worry," said Hobie. "Gwen'll manipulate their memories, easy-peasie. Don't worry."

"She can do that?"

"Some fuckery with the brain. That alien shit has some weird moves."

"Is it safe…?"

"I guarantee you, man, if it wasn't safe, I'd be the first to stop her. Trust me."

Felix believed him. Hobie seemed to have the honourable type. The train was going fast, as expected. While riding, Felix tried to contact the Symbiote again.

'Hey, Symbiote? You there? Hello?' 

Nothing. This whole day, he had been trying and no response. Shortly after Gwen and Hobie originally left, he meditated and gathered that the Symbiote was not held back. As a matter of fact, his powers as well as the Symbiote's were still there. 

It was just his voice. It was gone. 

"Speaking of, where is Gwen?"

"I bet my left nut that she's been watching that nightclub this whole time. She can be single-minded like that." Hobie crossed her arms. "I'll meet up with her while you start the plan."

"Right, the plan."

"You haven't forgotten it yet, have you?"

"No, of course, just…" A sigh. "Seducing isn't my thing."

Hobie looked at him like, "Bruh."

"You said her name was Moira MacTaggert? The second in command?"

AKA the target.

"Yep, Scottish lady, pretty hot. Blue eyes and brown-red hair a little over her shoulders." Hobie snapped his fingers. "What else, what else…? Oh, born in Kinross Estate, Scotland and graduated from Oxford with a PhD in genetics. She attended Oxford University when she was 16, became a biology professor at 20, and founded the Muir Research Institute at 31. Three years ago, Ororo whisked her away here."

"That's one hell of a resume." And Hobie sure did his research. Felix didn't even have to call up Herbie.

"Yep. I don't know if it was money, nudity, or prestige—probably all three—but Moira enjoys it here."

"Does she, erm…"

"Sleep around? Hell no. Like Mr. Lead Scientist Adam Brashear, the Scot ain't allowed too many chances outside. But I know her schedule. A quarter past twelve, she goes for a smoke break. Can't smoke down underground after all."

"Every night?"

"Some nights."

"Wait, so how do you know—"

"Spider-Sense."

"What."

"I can see the future."

"What?"

Hobie laughed like he got that reaction a lot. "Sit down, press your fingers to the floor, and meditate. Meditate hard, like the type where you start seeing black dots and shi'. Took a decade of training but if you stick at it, the Spidey's Spider-Sense can do it."

'Seeing the future works like that!?'

"You can…willingly see the future?" Felix asked. "Are you time travelling or going through quantum tunnels? I-is it a hundred percent accurate or...or what?"

"No clue, no clue, and no clue."

"Did you...not conduct any scientific research on this?"

Hobie laughed and then pointed at the window on the other side. "See the trees rushing past us? The blurs? With Spider-Sense, I'm already connected to the world. I can count it without even looking at it."

"See it or count it?"

"Count." Hobie's hands pressed the window behind him, five fingers touching but not his palm. Only the fingers. No look back or a sneaky glance. He smiled after a beat and said, "In the past ten seconds, we rushed past twenty-seven trees, four rocks, aaaand…two butterflies? Frogs? Eh, hard to say."

"That's amazing..."

But through meditation and zero experimentation? Where was the logic?

"My meditation comes in the form of music, so when I'm in the flow, I can do it in a fight too. It's about tapping into your soul. Once you tap into your soul, you can tap into the world that our Spider-Sense is connected to. The shit isn't just scientific, it's spiritual. I've met a couple other Spidey's and they struggle to do the future sight shit because they're too caught up in the science. You gotta focus on yourself and what you want to see. The world is in your hands—all you gotta do is seize it."

"You…make a pretty good motivator."

"Ha, thanks! Although in your case, it's probably not motivating at all."

Felix forced a laugh. In his head, he repeated his words. 'Spiritual? Not scientific? That…that sounds so dumb. Everything can be explained by science. Spirituality? Come on. I've been able to see the future a couple times too. It's...really, really trippy but I bet my left nut that it has something to do with Pym Particles.'

"You look like you don't believe me," Hobie said with a smirk.

"Sorry, but...I feel Pym Particles is just the likelier explanation."

Hobie shrugged his shoulder. He didn't. "Eh. Suit yourself, bruv."

On top of the completely wrong take on Spider-Sense, there was one other thing about Hobie he couldn't quite understand. His mask and vigilante-civilian; or lack thereof. He had no urgency in being discovered. "I, uh, am happy that you're trusting me but…"

"My opinion? Mask is kinda pointless. I'm not a hero, because calling yourself a hero makes you a self-mythologizing, narcissistic autocrat."

"Oh. Um, okay."

"Just kidding, bruv. A'ight, let's get up, the train's coming to a stop."

The train did indeed slow down and come to a stop as he predicted. They were back in the nude town. 

"Remember, that Scot bitch is smart. She does not play. Any dude who interrupts her smoke without reason gets smacked in the nuts. Oh, and…" As they walked out, Hobi made a face as he glanced down at Felix's schlong. "She despises big dick douches."

"Oh."

"Ah, shit." The train doors closed behind them while Hobi cocked his head and stared at Felix's cock. "Bugger. Gwen really made a mistake."

"What mistake?"

"She thought you'd be average, ya know? But shoot, being big might be a downside."

Man, what the hell was up with this mission?

"Look, whatever." Hobie shook his head. "Main point—the Scottie girl is at ease. She knows that everyone here is double-screened. See, the whole hidden lab under the night club is an open secret. People know about it but don't question it, ya know? So, hypothetically, if she likes someone she will bring him back to her room. Which, logically, should be done in the secret lab. Me and Gwen will be following while invisible and bam. We win."

"Hold on."

"What?"

"You're making it sound like a seduction mission, but Gwen, I feel like she made it sound more…spy-ish?" Hobie blinked. Felix continued, "I'm pretty sure she told me to pretend I'm a new scientist that's supposed to be joining."

"Yeah, well, her idea is shit." Glance again. "You got the great white shark, use it. Moira MacTaggert won't fall for 'Oh, I'm new and don't have a passcode and need help getting inside'. Fuck outta here with that, mate. It's too cliché, she'll see right through it."

Blink, blink. That…actually made sense.

"Aren't there any—"

"Clues or tips? Don't have any. I've been here a while, mate. There's a reason no drunk idiot has gotten down there despite it being an open secret. They are careful motherfuckers. Hank, Craig, the lot of 'em. I asked Hank about it once and I think that pretty much blew my chances of joining the club for a good year."

"It almost feels like the lead scientist doesn't want to be here."

Hobie tilted his head. "Huh. Yeah, when you think about it like that, yeah. He probably doesn't. I mean, the other scientists don't. They sleep around with the chicks at the nightclub. How do you think the open secret became open? People noticed that WAY too many people were staying over at the nightclub. They noticed some guys never entered and put two and two."

"That there's a secret underground lair…" Felix pursed his lips. "That's some real shitty security. Don't Adam and Moira think it's a security hazard?"

"Probably, but what can they do? Scientists have needs, ya know?" 

"But still…"

"At the very least, no one's leaked important shit. I'm a harem member and I only know the name Adam because of Gwen. My whole time here, Ororo has never once uttered the name nor have any of the other guys or gals. So security can't be that shit." 

Both were still at the station, thinking. 

"Vibranium too," Felix murmured, answering the question of whether the spiders could break their way in. "Other than Creature Z's Gamma Breath, I can't think of anything that could destroy Vibranium. Even then, given its properties, it would probably absorb even at."

"Yep. Unbreakable for us mere arachnids. By the by, you want gum?" From his wrist watch, Hobie popped out a piece of gum. "Here."

"Oh, thanks." 

"You'll need it, man."

Felix and Hobie, Spider-Men chewing on gum and on their future plans. Given the pair were level-headed, unlike Gwen from Felix's understanding, it was better to take a breath to tweak their strategy in whatever way possible.

"Oh. My. God."

"Looook! It's M'Baku's little brother!"

"His white brother from another mother~"

Until the chicks arrived. Idie Okonkwo and Alisa Tager, two black women with a serious need to check him out. First bending over to look at his family jewels, gasping and smirking, and then talking to him directly. 

"Want to come with us? It'll be an amaziiiing time~" said Idie, smiling wide.

A wink from Alisa. "A really big, wild time." 

Okay, Ororo was one thing but this was a bit much. He flushed. 'My eyes are up here…'

The last of the chicks was Gloria Dolores Muñoz. Although impressed, she took to Hobie. "Well, well, Ororo's engineer. Descending from the castle for what, hm? To show you've been outgunned?"

"Relax, Risque—and, yes, bruv, that's her stripper name—I'm only here to support the RPG overthere."

As soon as he said that, more local Kenyan chicks came over. Felix Faeth was a damn magnet. Getting into the nightclub was no issue at all.

Nightclubs were nightclubs. Most of them were the same, although the one in the nude town was much…hotter. Spicier. The club was a sprawling, three-level space — a strange marriage between ancient Swahili stonework and slick Wakandan tech. There was no roof, only open sky. Lights embedded in the carved coral danced overhead like fireflies, and low-hanging lanterns floated between stone columns that divided the venue into different sections: a central dance floor like a carved bowl, balconies with cushion-laden lounging beds, and tiered pool levels that gleamed under blue-lit tiles.

And, of course, everyone was naked.

Or nearly. Thin robes, jewelry, or decorative body paint were the only concessions to clothing.

The club held 500 people tonight, maybe more. Bodies moved in hypnotic waves on the dance floor, laughter echoed from the upper lounges, and the air was filled with the warm, intoxicating aroma of sweet wine, sweat, and ocean air.

Felix was taken to one of the bars. There were three in total; three places for a smoke place AKA Moira. None of which he could explore because when he sat down, local women surrounded him like moths to the light. All of them were beautiful, bold, and intrigued.

"Don't worry about money, big guy, everything is free here. Mostly!"

"Mhm, mhm."

"O-okay…"

Cue the giggles and the pointing. Ororo's standards of beauty were high. These were very pretty ladies. Felix was obviously no amateur but come on. 'I-I'm more of a one-on-one guy. Parties just aren't...'

"Aw, he's blushing!"

"So cute…!"

"M'Baku is always so quiet. This is a nice change of pace, you know?" 

Yeah, his cheeks were turning red. Seriously, understand! It wasn't his fault! He was just bad with multiple people! If it was only one chick, he could raise a smirk and get something going. But two, three, four, getting this celebrity-like treatment was too much. Way too much.

Felix Faeth was an introvert. Introvert meaning reserved, quiet, and a tad reclusive. That did not mean hating social events completely, only that there was a bar and that the social events had to stay in that bar in order for him to not be overwhelmed.

"Felix, I bought you a drink." A giggle and a hug to his arms from a heavy set of breasts. Then another to the other side. Then two pressing against his back. The smells and the voices were ganging up on him.

Spider-Man was losing his composure.

'D-dammit! Focus! Moira, find her!' Moira was his focus, not these random chicks. 'How can I get away—?' 

"Ladies and gentlemen! Rock and rollers! People of the island!"

Ah, Hobie. 

Wait, what? 

As if on cue, the house lights dimmed and a spotlight snapped to the stage. The rooftop closed, a Vibranium dome covering it. 

Standing in the glow was Hobie Brown. The guitar on his shoulder glistened in the moonlight, and when he strummed the first chord, it screamed like a war cry.

Felix didn't even need to look to know: Hobie was phenomenal.

He played like the guitar owed him something. The crowd roared. Attention, wonderfully, shifted away from Felix. The circle of admirers thinned, drawn toward the need to dance. One of them tugged at Felix, saying, "Come on, come on! It'll be great!"

"I, ah, I'll be there. Bathroom first."

The ladies accepted the excuse because of Hobie's electrifying performance. It was all about fun here in the nightclub. No time to waste. Jump from one desire to the next at the drop of the hate.

'Three bars, Felix. Come on, find them.' Three areas in the nightclub for the smoker. Felix's powers weren't gone. Not at all. His supreme hearing and sight were fully in tact.

'God, that's loud.' Felix winced upon Hobie's guitar blasting through the speakers. 'He's Spidey too, how is he not affected?' 

It was too loud. Way too loud. If Hobie wasn't rocking and rolling, Felix could have found the lady by closing his eyes and smelling out the smoke. Tobacco was far too thick to go unnoticed.

But he couldn't. Not with his ears being constantly yammered.

He needed a vantage point.

Felix slipped out from his seat and moved through the crowd like a current in a much larger tide. Past dancers, past bartenders — up toward the lounge steps near the western smoking alcove, where filtered sea air made it one of the few quiet places in the club.

'Well, well.' 

Leaning against a carved column, bare feet tucked onto the bench beside her, sipping from a highball glass and exhaling a slow, unhurried breath of vapor. Her hair — that striking reddish-brown — fell to her shoulders in gentle waves. Her body was long and lean, athletic in a dancer's way, with elegant lines and an easy stillness. Her face was soft but alert, with ice-blue eyes that missed nothing.

She didn't smile when Felix approached. She just raised a brow.

"I assume you're lost," she said, her Scottish accent sharp and dry.

Yep, had to be Moira. Had to be his target. 

Time to seduce her. Or something.