I Needed To Lose You To Love Me

[JIMINIE]

At Jiminie's statement, Agust fell back, as he pulled out of his erasthai ever so gently, worried that he would hurt him again. 

He had never intended to hurt his Jiminie, and yet as he looked at the cold face staring back at him on the bed, he knew this was irredeemable. He had fucked up, and he would pay the price for it ever so willingly. 

Hearing that Jiminie had tied up his ovaries fucked with the king's mind and he wanted to ask why he wanted to know what had pushed Jiminie that state, but a part of him always knew the prince consort would never be the same after everything. 

He should have expected this, but they the fuck did it feel so weird?

'I can't breathe?' Agust asked himself as everything began getting blurry and his chest left constricting like he was losing his balance. They were still on the huge bed he had laid in first with Jiminie and he felt like the world was closing in on him. 

The walls were trapping him and he could only just stare at Jiminie softly, a smile on his face as he grabbed the towel on the side of the bed to clean Jiminie up. Agust felt like he was about to die, but even then, he refused to get pity from his erasthai, he refused to make Jiminie feel guilty for anything anymore. 

The loss of their child was something Agust should have prevented, but he didn't even know. It shouldn't have happened like that and he would pay whatever price there was out there for him.

"That's good, kitten. It's good to choose yourself and protect yourself from the likes of me," August forced out, struggling to sound stable when his body was hot as hell. 

He wasn't sure how long he could hold out, and he only hoped to the goddess that he would pass out once Jiminie was gone. He couldn't be the reason his Jiminie suffered again. That would be fair. 

Mate bonds were supposed to make the pair happy, and yet Agust had managed to screw up in all the ways to hell. He had made life a tad difficult for the only person he ever loved and he hated himself for it.

"I don't even know what I should have expected from you," Jiminie said angrily as he stared at the king who was wiping him. The towel was warm, like it always was on days when Agust wanted to make love to Jiminie. 

Maybe it was a far stretch even for them seeing as this meeting was impromptu, but then a king with so much magic could do just about anything then, right?

"I'm proud of you, Jiminie. I know you can now hold your own," Agust said as he used a binding spell to keep Jiminie stretched out on the end so he could wipe the alpha clean. It was something that Agust knew Jiminie would despise but what else could he do? 

His erasthai already despised him to the point of tying up his ovaries because he didn't want to catch Agust's seed. So, what the fuck was the king even supposed to be scared of this time? 

He had been there, when all hell had broken loose and yet he had done nothing to make it any better. He had been a coward and all hells be damned if he let himself be the reason Jiminie had to endure pain again.

"What are you doing?" Jiminie asked, when he felt like he couldn't move.

He hated being trapped because it reminded him of the first time the mad king had captured him. Jiminie despised closed spaces and while he was here with Agust, he was slowly feeling the room closing in on him. 

Funny how that was also what the king was feeling. Everything was going to shit and Agust was right in the middle of that mess. Perhaps it would save a lot of people if he just decided to die, right? 

Oh, but the king was considering that, but then he had tried more than once he had tried to kill himself, but immortality was suddenly a curse he couldn't get rid of. 

Perhaps if he riled Jiminie up enough times, the alpha would want him dead and take the blade and use it on Agust, right?

"You said you tied up your ovaries. I'm just cleaning my cum so you don't get pregnant for me. I need to be sure in case you suddenly come after me in the future with claims that you bear my heir.

"I can't make the same mistake twice, you know," Agust said casually. This was the one thing Agust hadn't wanted to say to his Jiminie. He loved the pretty boy on his bed with all he had and didn't have.

But then as he had fucked Jiminie, Agust had realized that it was Jiminie's hate for him that kept his beautiful Jiminie going. 

Jiminie had come here to the palace to show the king that he was doing well even without Agust and white it hurt the king to come to that realization, he had found hope in it. 

The people of Kiyoto needed their alpha to stop being a vegetable and run the pack like he always had and reassure them that staying in Kyoto wasn't the worst idea they could have come up with. 

It was a risk that Agust was finally seeing and frankly, it made the king's heart break.

"You finally have the brains for it, huh? I'm surprised you didn't freeze and make a run for it again. Or maybe it's because you're already creating a portal for me to go back to Kiyoto? 

"Don't worry about your pretty head. I'll find my way home, but if you send that enforcer of yours back to Kiyoto. She will be dead before her second step into Kiyoto," Jiminie warned and Agust just smiled at the alpha. 

He knew that Jiminie was being real with him right now. Sure, he wanted to pretend that Jiminie was always going to be the prettiest man he had ever met and the man with a beautiful heart. 

But then they were both broken and forged from the same fountain of pain. It was only right to assume that hell and heaven weren't exactly the worst of places to be at the moment, yeah?

"For someone who spent an entire month wallowing and looking pitiful as shit, you sound like you just realized that you're never going to be a part of Helia, even with my mark on you," Agust said with a smirk before adding; 

"Bring her in!"

Jiminie wanted to say things to the king, but when he saw the door open and a woman get into the king's bedroom, with nothing on her body, he froze. He didn't know when to expect, and when the woman sat so casually on Agust's dick, Jiminie let the first tear fall months ago. 

His heart hurt so bad he was sure that he would die right at that moment, but what he hadn't even realized was that in the midst of all that, the king was in pain too and so close to losing his sanity. 

Then again, what the fuck was Jiminie supposed to think when the king released the binds on him, and lay on the bed, his eyes closed in pleasure while the woman rode his dick that was still hard and wet with both his and Jiminie's cum? 

Was he supposed to cry in pain or walk away from this? 

Was Jiminie supposed to fight for the man he had shamelessly fallen in love with or was he to walk away with his head bowed because he couldn't handle the fact that the women looked a lot like a female version of him? 

It was upsetting to say the least, but Jiminie was done this time. He couldn't stay here anymore. He couldn't watch as his erasthai let out soft moans.

"I hate you," Jiminie admitted as he dressed up and made his way to the door, not daring to look back because he was scared of what the king would say to him.

However, when he heard Agust whimper in pain, Jiminie turned to look at the king, only to see him paler than he had ever seen a person get pale.

"What the fuck?" Jiminie asked as he rushed to Agust, while the woman disappeared.