As I delved into the book that Jenni had left for me, I realized it was a historical account—a genre I had rarely explored before. My past experiences with studying and ethics had left me feeling inadequate and uninterested in reading books. I couldn't help but think that I only knew how to embody the role of a villain in a story. Just as I was engrossed in my thoughts, a gentle knock resonated through the door, followed by Meg's voice asking for permission to enter.
"My lady, oh my goodness, are you okay?" Meg exclaimed as she entered the room. Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around me in a comforting hug. It was a relief to have someone who understood me. I responded softly, "I'm alright, don't worry."
" My lady , do you remember what happened yesterday?"
As Meg mentioned the events of the previous day, I struggled to recall the details. The memory seemed distant, and I couldn't quite grasp what had transpired. "Not really," I responded, my voice tinged with confusion. It troubled me that I couldn't remember, but I chose to trust that the answers would eventually reveal themselves.
Just as we were discussing Lord John's request to see me at dinner, Jenni entered the room, carrying clothes for me to wear. " my lady , lord John wants to see you at dinner. I brought clothes for you to wear. "It seemed she had anticipated the need for me to prepare for the occasion. The white cloth in her hand caught my attention.
" Do you want to take a bath first or not, my lady?" Before I could respond to Jenni's question about bathing, Meg interjected, asserting her role as my personal maid and suggesting that she could handle the task herself. A hint of jealousy or perhaps fear laced Meg's words, and I couldn't help but wonder.
Jenni, on the other hand, remained silent, her demeanor carrying a sense of solemnity. She handed me the dress and nodded before leaving the room. Meg turned her attention back to me,"gloomy" commenting on Jenni's demeanor. "Yes, she does seem a bit gloomy"
As I held the white dress in my hands, I couldn't help but feel a mixture of anticipation and apprehension. Lord John's request and Jenni's presence seemed to suggest that something important awaited me at dinner. With Meg by my side, I knew I had the support I needed to navigate whatever lay ahead. Taking a deep breath, I made a decision. "Let's get ready, Meg. I don't want to keep lord waiting. I have a feeling tonight's dinner will be significant."
Meg started to dress me, As Meg continued dressing me, I couldn't help but feel conflicted about the beautiful dress. It did look good, but it didn't feel like it belonged on me. Despite my reservations, I politely nodded and whispered a quiet "yes."
Then, Meg asked about my intentions of returning to the madam's house. I sighed and replied with a hint of sadness, "I don't think I will." The truth was, I didn't want to go back to that life. I wanted something different, something more fulfilling.
Curiosity sparked in Meg's eyes as she inquired about my plans. I gazed at my reflection in the mirror, seeing a young woman of fifteen who felt lost and purposeless, only valued for marriage and security. I contemplated my options and finally said, "I think I will try to go to my parents' house."
Meg's concern was evident as she looked at me through the mirror. "But, my lady, your father... Will he accept you? He disowned you." she asked cautiously. I took a deep breath, gathering my courage, and replied honestly, "I don't know, Meg, but I have to try. I can't keep living a life that doesn't make me happy."
She studied my face intently and offered a suggestion. "My lady, maybe if you explain what happened, your aunt will understand." Meg knew that opening up to my aunt about my experiences might lead to some understanding and acceptance.
"I don't think she will understand," I whispered, my voice filled with a tinge of resignation.
The weight of the impending changes and uncertainties hung in the air. Meg broke the silence, saying, "I finished dressing you, my lady." She said
Feeling parched, I realized I needed a glass of water before I embarked on my journey. "Meg, can you please bring me a glass of water?" I requested. Understanding the importance of this small gesture, she swiftly fetched a glass of water and handed it to me.
I took a grateful sip, the cool liquid soothing my dry throat. Meg stood beside me, a supportive presence in this pivotal moment of my life. As I finished drinking, I turned to her and said, "Thank you, Meg, for everything. Your support means the world to me."
She smiled kindly and replied, "You're welcome, my lady. I'll always be here for you, no matter what path you choose."
I bid her farewell and left the room, ready to face the challenges and uncertainties that awaited me .