Chapter(63)

Episode(63) Guilty survivor

SOVEREIGN OF DEATH~(63)

[Akane: POV]

[Mavis!]

Seeing the familiar silhouette in the distance, Akane yelled excitedly. 

Upon hearing the voice, Mavis turned to face the direction of the call. Seeing who it was, she was slightly relieved and let out a breath.

When she realized that Mavis was talking to the princess, Akane slowed her steps.

Nervously, she wondered if she had irritated the princess by interrupting a conversation.

She wouldn't be punished for interrupting the princess's conversation right?

Fortunately, she was just overthinking.

Upon seeing her, Princess Maria merely smiled gently.

Giving a slight nod of her head in Akane's direction, Maria turned on her heels towards the exit of the banquet hall.

Arching her brow, Akane walked over to Mavis.

[Hm? Why did the princess suddenly leave like that?]

Akane was confused.

With the soft smile at the end, It didn't seem like she upset the princess at all.

No, thinking about it, that smile looked awfully familiar.

'Right!'

Akane recalled why that smile was so familiar to her. It was like the smile girls would make whenever they heard gossip!

She looked at Mavis with a suspicious gaze.

'Did they talk about me?'

Squinting, she could only think this was the reason she left in a hurry.

But Mavis just shrugged.

[Who knows...]

Mavis avoided eye contact as if saying she wouldn't answer properly no matter what.

'What a vague answer'

Still, seeing how adamant the other party was to deflect conversation, Akane gave up.

Rather than that, with concerned eyes she asked Mavis.

[In any case, are you okay? No wounds right?]

Her eyes wandered the toned body built over several years of hard work thoroughly checking for any wounds or scratches.

Still, seeing that there were none no matter how much she looked, Akane heaved a sigh of relief.

[Good]

Mavis's eyes softened and she chuckled. The way Akane always cared for her like a genuine sister tickled her heart strings dearly.

Not knowing what she was thinking unfortunately, Akane thought she was being laughed at.

She pouted in defiance and huffed her words, steam practically shooting from her nose.

[Why are you laughing at me?! Is it funny that I'm worried?]

'Just for that, I'll ignore you for an hour!'

On the other hand, Mavis just smiled and patted her head gently.

[I know, and I am glad for your care]

It was just that this was a new feeling, having another person care about her well being aside from her old man.

Looking down into Akane's eyes, she uttered her next words.

[Upon my honor as a knight I would not laugh at the concern of one for my sake]

Woosh!

Just then, a slight wind blew strands of her hair to the side. Looking up at the nights sky, dotted by numerous stars, Mavis held a distant gaze in her eyes.

[When I was but a child, I was brought up in the way a boy would be]

Whether it came to clothing, toys or even training. 

She had to dress as a boy. Even if she disliked it, she would get a scolding for complaining.

As for toys, according to her father they weren't necessary and even if he did grant her one it would be nothing but a toy sword.

For training, it would be so rough that her body was left bruised and scarred all over.

[Yet, no matter how hurt I was or how much pain I endured, no one displayed an ounce of care for me the way you do]

It was an unbearable childhood for anyone, but she endured it to the end.

Listening to her story, Akane felt happy that Mavis was confiding in her at last. Yet, at the same time the contents made her feel unsettled.

'She barely ever reveals her past'

However when she does, it would always be a dark past.

Not able to come up with any words of comfort, Akane could only continue to listen in silence.

[Even when I shed tears I received no pity. Just a harsh glare of my father and the servants]

Her eyes, slightly dark. Mavis continue to reminisce. 

[It was the duty of one born of the duke to behave like a warrior]

Unless the injury was so bad it would hinder her career as a knight. She could only recall her father telling her to get up and do not shame the name of the duke.

One should never be weak, you should never falter to emotion nor put down your sword. These were the words uttered, rain or shine. Even when she was so sick she couldn't move a muscle, these were the words that echoed in her ears.

[So, even as a noblewoman, I was left with countless scars and wounds]

Even the mother that cared little for her at one point became sorry for her and spoke up to her father for her sake.

But, things between the couple were already at a rocky stage and her speaking out was just the breaking point.

After that she never once saw this mother of hers again.

Thinking back to the past, she couldn't help but heave a sigh.

Akane opened her eyes wide when she heard the story.

[T-That's so cruel, what kind of bastard dares to harass my Mavis?!]

Let her catch him and she would beat him black and blue.

Akane threw her hands hitting the air as if to vent her anger and show Mavis what she would do to enact their revenge.

However, contrary to what she thought-

[Fufu]

Mavis laughed cheerfully.

As if there was no hatred or resentment at all, just a sense of freedom.

[I as well, thought my father to be a heartless fellow]

Of course she would.

Even if she never complained, Mavis was a girl at heart.

In the end, seeing other noble ladies dressing up, going to tea parties. Their flawless milky white skin.

Whenever they went to balls and tea parties they would have partners and countless suitors to admire them.

While her on the other hand. If they didn't avoid her out of fear for her strength, they did it in fear of her status.

How could Mavis not be envious?

Also, it may have stopped since becoming a commander, still the whispers behind her back were hurtful even if she had an iron heart.

She sighed.

[My upbringing, at one point had led me to despise my father]

At the time, she could only think that he wanted to use her talent to make up for his own regrets.

To use her to gain power, prestige and fame.

[But-]

A memory was still vivid in her mind to this day.

It was a day she had been severely injured during a monster subjugation.

Even through her hazy consciousness, the sight of that cold unfeeling man kneeling and begging for the gods to save her was clear to her even now.

'Save my daughter'

The words uttered that day were unforgettable.

Thanks to that, she was able to know that her father didn't really hate her. He just wanted her to be strong and independent.

Looking at Akane who was both worried and angry for her sake she smiled.

[What I'm trying to say is, I am grateful for your concern]

'Wowzers'

The smile looked to Akane like a goddess shining radiantly as she bestowed her blessings.

Put simply, it was a divine smile. 

This face could even form a religion. Controlling the drool, Akane did her best to carve this moment into her memories.

[W-Why do you just keep staring me like that?]

Her gaze caused Mavis to blush. It was just too intense and even Mavis was unable to ignore it.

Why did she feel like a rabbit being spotted by a wolf?

Shaking her head, Mavis convinced herself that it was just her imagination.

[Come to think of it, don't you have any baby pics? I bet you look absolutely adorable!]

Akane wanted to see more sides of this usually stiff knight.

Her as a baby?

It must be so cute it was cause riots!

[A-Adorable?]

She was? Mavis didn't think so. 

Even as a baby, most of her pictures were in boys clothing. Only a few contained her wearing girls clothing and even then she was too embarrassed.

[I don't know about that]

She didn't know why but she just felt shy thinking that Akane would see her embarrassing photos.

[Kuhum!]

Hurriedly, she cleared her throat and looked around for a topic to start.

It was then that she noticed that she couldn't see Akane's best friend and current saintess, Lady Aoi.

[T-That's right. About the saint, is the lady saint alright after this ordeal?]

Trying to switch the conversation? 

Akane pouted.

Shouldn't you shyly invite me over while nonchalantly saying you don't mind? You're not playing by the rules knights!

She sighed.

In any case, she didn't bother to push it since the person herself seemed so quick to avoid it.

At the same time she vowed deep in her heart to see those pictures sooner or later! Even if she had to stealthily get the job done!

Then she turned unable to see Aoi's figure and replied in an exasperated tone.

[Aoi is fine, I did my best to keep her safe]

Although, seeing people explode into a rain of flesh and blood definitely left them feeling nauseous.

It even traumatized them a bit. 

But there was nothing that could be done about that part. 

There was that time Aoi lost her mind in the panic and wanted to rush out to help Renji when he was losing, however Akane easily held her back.

This made Aoi angry with her but still, you a support class with no combat skills whatsoever want to rush out into a battle where even the saint was being toyed with?

Are you sane?

'I know they say love makes you do stupid things, but-'

This best friend of hers was becoming more and more scatter brained by the day and it was worrying to say the least.

Sigh.

[Anyway]

Akane clapped.

[She's fine, I think she's somewhere assisting the clerics heal the injured now...but]

She paused.

A dark expression spread across her face and she spoke in a sorrowful tone.

[Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do for those who died]

Those words lead her to realize that live had truly been lost today.

Lives she could have saved if she was a bit stronger.

And as if to jeer at her weakness, the sobs and weeping around her seemed to be amplified the moment she thought about it.

Akane's shoulders drooped almost like a wilted flower.

'So what if I survived, here I am happy to survive at the expense of others'

Didn't those that died want to live as well?

She was sure they all had plans for the future and things they wanted to achieve.

And yet-

Looking at her hands that still trembled at the thought of that demon she felt pathetic.

Looking at her trembling shoulders, Mavis sighed.

She could easily recognize the look in those eyes.

Like when a soldier survived after a war only to see a dead comrade at their feet.

They would wonder to themselves, why did I survive?

Why couldn't I save them?

Why am I so powerless?

This was situation was called, 'Survivors Guilt' or 'The burden of the living'.

Having experienced it before, Mavis was no stranger to this feeling. So with an understanding gaze, she placed a hand on Akane's trembling shoulder and spoke in the most soothing tone she could muster.

[It's okay]

Akane, looked up. Her trembling eyes just barely meeting Mavis's gaze as she did.

[Mavis…]

Looking into those beautiful, jewel like eyes.