Healing

The next day I spent in the hospital resting. My bd went with them to do everything. I on the other hand was being watched closely. I had a very bad reaction to the medication. I couldn't feel my legs until the day after. I was having a hard time breathing. So we got to stay a little longer. To help my body recover. They also had to give my baby treatment. He was born with jaundice. When we finally left the hospital. I was on strict orders. I'm to only use the restroom and then it's back to bed for me. No more than 5 minutes out of bed at a time. Long story short. I tore soo bad I had 3 extra layers. They stitched me up and made sure I was okay long before releasing me. The day we were released. My baby was already 4 days old. Bd got home shortly after we arrived. He took a shower and he was holding our son. I was asleep and baby was crying. So he picked him up and ended up falling asleep holding our baby. I got up to the sound of screaming. It was a blood curdling screech. He had dropped the baby. I do believe it was a slow drop. Since baby was on his booty. However I picked him up and slapped bd awake. From that day on he didn't pick up baby unless he was fully awake and never by himself. So if he was tired and I was asleep. He needed to get my mom. That was the last known accident at this age. When boy was 6 months old. I went in for my follow up. Specifically because I still wasn't getting my monthly. I was told I was pregnant again. I was officially 3 months pregnant. I also needed to be treated again. Only this time I needed more than a single treatment. As the infection had travelled pretty far. My family told me that this type of infection was caused by cheating. I didn't want to believe them. We were finally in a place where we could be stable and not happy but comfortable. My family moved into a house and we took over the lease. Not even a week in and we began fighting again. He would pick fights with me about everything. My dress was too short, my short shorts were to high, I had friends over without permission. If I didn't cook on time. If his food was cold when he got home. If I didn't wash his clothes. I was begining to feel like a maid. So I decided to have sleepovers at my friend's places. Then he revisited his anger problems. He was losing control more freely. Then one day I blurted it out during a fight. I'm pregnant and went to get the ultrasound picture. His demeanor changed for a moment. I'm that moment I saw in his eyes the love I once felt. Next thing I knew it vanished.