Mana Sense

The next few months were much better than what we had been going through previously. We stayed outside of the effects of the spell the Night Reaper had set up so we could experience the sun - something I was grateful that none of the Dark Elementals took offense from - but nevertheless close to them so that if any unexpected situation arose they would be able to reach us before we got wiped out.

Fortunately, such occurrences were rare. Once, a Lesser Light Lord had somehow drifted over and we nearly perished before one of our allies got over here and killed it with a single spell. As we stared at the overwhelming display of power in shock, it then apologized multiple times for not getting here sooner and risking our lives. 

Naturally, we refused the apology and thanked it instead for saving us in time. Once it was sure that we weren't annoyed by its tardiness, it departed, apologizing once more for good measure. Honestly, I was shocked - not by the instant killing of the Lesser Light Lord, but more that it cared so much for our practically worthless lives and wellbeing. 

As it departed, I couldn't help but compare their mindset and personality to the twisted, complicated natures of humans. Our own kinsmen were unwilling to save us, while these inhuman beings of immense strength had lowered themselves for our sake. 

Dark, dangerous thoughts sprouted from my musings. It got a little harder every day to convince myself that it was worth pushing through the obstacles thrown at me, to push away the negative thoughts that crowded out my ability to think rationally. 

For once, the anchor that typically kept me sane, which was constantly reminding myself that none of this was real, was working against me. It was a sad truth that once our allies died, we would follow soon after, because other, more powerful humans didn't care about us. Why should I even bother trying to survive? I could live ten, a hundred, a thousand lives in these endless false realities, why did I have to live in this one?

It was at moments like these that I had to shove away my anger and do something more productive. For example, testing how the mana seemed to work in this particular world. I had realized some time before that their way of manipulating mana was fundamentally different from what I had experienced, but had little time to iron out my confusion through experiments. It didn't take me long to understand that the mana here apparently couldn't be directly moved through one's will, but instead was manipulated by words in a strange language and would turn into spells when several words were said in quick succession.

However, this only applied to humans. For the Elemental beings, they seemed able to cast spells in very little time, or sometimes they would need a few seconds for some of the more complicated ones. Nevertheless, they definitely did not need to go through the cumbersome process of chanting in some bizarre language to send a deadly spear of death at their foes, or perhaps a bone-melting orb of light.

These conclusions were easily made, but I could hardly draw any further information from them, while my companions were equally useless. Driven by a feeling that I was on the verge of understanding something, I spent days casting spells, trying to understand what I was missing. There was a sense of difference compared to previous illusions that I was starting to experience more acutely as time went on, but I just could not quite grasp what I had lost.

One day it hit me as I saw one of the Greater Dark Elementals casting a special spell nearby. This particular spell seemed to consume the light around it, but oddly faded away afterward, leaving no other seeming effect. I had already subconsciously braced for a shockwave to hit me, but when I felt nothing but an acute absence, I finally understood what I had been missing.

I couldn't feel the mana.