CHAPTER 12:FEELINGS.

DREW.

Thirty minutes had passed since I'd settled in beside Maya, and what a revelatory thirty minutes it had been. Drunk Maya, it turned out, was a hilarious and affectionate creature. She tossed and turned, using me as a human pillow, grabbing, squeezing, and poking my chest as she searched for the perfect sleeping position. Pillows had gone flying, and the bed had been transformed into a war zone, but through it all, Maya had clung to me like a lifeline.

I was astonished to discover that the prickly, standoffish Maya I knew was, in fact, a cuddle bug when drunk. Who would have thought that beneath her tough exterior lay a snuggly, affectionate heart? I found it all endearing, and my initial reluctance had given way to a warm, fuzzy feeling. As Maya used my arm as her headrest, I didn't mind staying this way, even if it meant sacrificing my arm to numbness. It was a small price to pay for the privilege of holding her close.

I didn't care if it was just a fleeting fantasy; all I wanted was for this moment to last a little longer. As Maya lay nestled in my arms, I reveled in the illusion of being with her, of having her close. Even if she was oblivious to it all, I savored the sensation, knowing it would be short-lived.

Tomorrow would bring reality crashing back, and I'd be forced to return to a world where Maya and I were sworn enemies – or, at the very least, pretended to be. The thought was a bitter pill to swallow, and I clung to this fragile, drunken-induced intimacy, not wanting to lose the warmth that radiated from her body, the sweet, strawberry scent of her shampoo that wafted up to tease me whenever she stirred in her sleep.

As she turned, I found myself leaning in closer, helpless against the allure of her presence. Gosh, she smelled incredible! I hated how perfectly her body fit into my arms, hated the way my heart skipped a beat as I held her close. I hated it because I knew that when this night was over, I'd be haunted by the memory of this moment forever – a bittersweet torment that would linger long after the universe had moved on.

I considered it a cruel punishment, a perpetual torment, to live alongside the girl of my dreams, yet be unable to claim her as my own. Not in the way that truly mattered, anyway. As I gently brushed strands of hair from Maya's face, she purred contentedly, like a cat basking in affection. My gaze drifted to her lips, and I felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her. My heart racing, I leaned in, my resolve crumbling.

Just as my lips were about to touch hers, a loud, cautionary voice echoed in my mind. "Don't do it!" it yelled, and I blinked rapidly, disoriented. I looked around, wondering if someone had actually spoken, but realized it was just my inner voice, screaming at me to stop. Ah, my conscience, still intact, still trying to steer me towards the right path. But I was beyond reason.

As my inner voice protested, begging me to reconsider, I silenced it with reckless abandon. I ignored the warning signs, the doubts, and the fears. I took a bite of the forbidden fruit, pressing my lips to Maya's, and in that instant, I knew I could no longer hide my true feelings for her. The floodgates had opened, and there was no turning back.

Flashback: Nine years ago

It was a sunny day, with a gentle breeze rustling the leaves of the trees surrounding the Villa. Two young children, Maya and Drew, stood facing each other, their eyes locked in a fierce stare. What began as a harmless argument over their bicycles had escalated into a heated debate, with neither willing to back down. The air was electric with tension as they negotiated the terms of a bet.

"The first one to get to the other end of the Villa is the winner," Maya declared boldly, her ten-year-old voice steady and confident. Drew's eyes lit up with excitement as he considered the challenge. He was eleven, and his competitive spirit was already well-developed.

"Would the winner get a prize?" Drew asked, his curiosity piqued. Maya shook her head, indicating that there was no prize, but Drew was insistent. He wanted a prize, and he was convinced he would win.

"How about this?" Drew suggested, a sly grin spreading across his face. "The loser does whatever the winner wants." Maya hesitated, weighing the risks and benefits. After a moment, she nodded, and the two children sealed the deal with a firm handshake. The race was on!

"You cheated!" Maya's voice echoed through the air, her face reddening with indignation as she glared at the older boy. But Drew was unfazed, too busy basking in the glory of his victory to acknowledge her protests. He performed a triumphant dance, his grin stretching from ear to ear, as Maya's complaints fell on deaf ears.

Finally, she threw up her hands in defeat. "Fine! What do you want?" she asked, her voice laced with resignation. Drew's dance came to an abrupt halt, and he sauntered towards her, his eyes gleaming with mischief. Maya's eyes widened as he closed in, his towering frame looming over her. She took a step back, her heart racing, but Drew just raised an eyebrow, his expression playful.

The unspoken question hung in the air: "You're not scared, are you?" Maya's eyes flashed with determination as she swallowed hard, refusing to back down. She met Drew's gaze head-on, her chin held high. No way was she going to show fear in front of him. Never. She might be a little apprehensive about what he had planned, but scared. No. She stood her ground, her eyes locked on Drew's, daring him to make his move.

Little Drew closed in, a sly smirk spreading across his face as he anticipated Maya's reaction. He knew her like the back of his hand, and it was almost too easy to manipulate her. He leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a gentle, yet possessive kiss. Maya's eyes widened in shock as she finally grasped what was happening, and she recoiled as if scalded, her face aflame with mortification.

Drew maintained his triumphant grin, his eyes glinting with mischief as he pointed at Maya, his voice dripping with satisfaction. "That's my price for winning. I stole your first kiss, snooty face."

Maya's pupils dilated even further, her eyes frozen on Drew's face as she stood there, speechless and utterly humiliated. Her small fists clenched and shook with rage, her face a deep crimson. Then, without a word, she turned and fled, leaving Drew standing alone, his grin still plastered on his face.

(Back to the Present)

As I reflected on that pivotal moment, I realized I hadn't grasped the significance of my emotions back then. All I remembered was being utterly consumed by thoughts of Maya, my young mind reeling with questions about the strange, fluttery sensations I'd experienced. But before I could make sense of it all, my mom and I returned to London, leaving Nigeria and Maya behind. Our visit had been a brief, festive interlude, a Christmas getaway that doubled as an early birthday gift for Maya's tenth year.

Yet, the memory of Maya's lips lingered, igniting a fireworks-like explosion in my mind whenever her image intruded upon my thoughts. It was maddening, and in the days, months, and years that followed, I felt an ache within me, a deep longing for the girl who'd unwittingly captured my heart. I missed her like crazy, the distance between us a constant, gnawing reminder of what I'd left behind.

That fleeting, innocent kiss had been a catalyst, altering the landscape of my emotions forever. It sparked a longing within me, a yearning for Maya that only intensified with time. Every moment since then had been a testament to my torment, a constant reminder of the feelings I'd been forced to conceal. The weight of my secret had been crushing at times, but I'd learned to navigate the facade, pretending that Maya was just a nuisance, a girl I loved to tease and torment.

But now, having finally acknowledged the depth of my emotions, I felt like I was staring into the abyss. The thought of continuing this charade, of denying my true feelings, was suffocating. I let out a despairing sigh, the weight of my predicament settling heavily on my shoulders.

Fuck, I'm doomed, aren't I? The question echoed in my mind, a haunting refrain that seemed to mock me, reminding me of the impossibility of my situation.