Chapter 127: Comments

Yukinoshita Yukino could confirm that what Li Mo was currently reading did not belong to any member of the Service Club.

In other words, it was something brought by Zaimokuza.

Li Mo looked up at Yukinoshita, gleaning the information he needed from her expression, and said, "A light novel. It seems to be an unpublished one. Let me think... Recently, I remember a certain publishing house is hosting a **newcomer award**. Zaimokuza, are you planning to submit this for the **newcomer award**?"

The conversation between Zaimokuza and Hikigaya had already been interrupted.

When Yukinoshita asked and Li Mo answered, everyone in the room turned their attention to Li Mo. Among them, Zaimokuza's gaze was the most intense. He stared fixedly at the manuscript in Li Mo's hands but didn't dare to move, as if his comic book had been confiscated by a teacher.

This was his work.

"Zaimokuza, don't be nervous. Could you answer my question, please?"

"Y-yes. I plan to submit it for the **newcomer award**, but I'm afraid it'll get rejected outright by the editor. So, I wanted someone to take a look and see how it is."

No further words were needed. In front of Li Mo, Zaimokuza naturally returned to his normal speaking tone.

When the other person had already seen through him, what else could he say?

"Aren't there online platforms for submitting novels? Why don't you try there?" Hikigaya asked.

Zaimokuza replied, "No, the people there are too harsh in their critiques."

"But I think Yukinoshita's critiques are even more scathing than theirs," Hikigaya quipped.

Yukinoshita looked slightly bewildered by the situation.

Light novels, submission websites—these were outside her realm of knowledge.

Li Mo said, "Hikigaya-san, I'd rather call Yukinoshita-san's critiques 'constructive.'"

Regardless, reviewing Zaimokuza's manuscript became one of the Service Club's tasks. Thinking about it, Zaimokuza had also been directed here by Hiratsuka-sensei. At this point, all the club's requests had been introduced by Hiratsuka-sensei.

—So, was Yukinoshita-san really just looking for a quiet clubroom to read books?

After returning home, Li Mo followed his usual routine from the previous day: studying his textbooks, researching **Onmyodo**, and tinkering with his **shikigami** to see if he could turn them into household maids. Cooking and cleaning by himself was just too much work.

Additionally, the applicability of **Onmyodo** in this world still needed to be explored. In Li Mo's perception, there was no elemental energy in the air of this world, or at least, the elements weren't as active as they were in the world of Genshin Impact.

These were all things he needed to investigate himself.

The next day.

Soubu High.

It was after school, and Li Mo and Yukinoshita arrived at the clubroom first. Li Mo sat in his usual spot, reading the manuscript he hadn't finished during class.

"Didn't you read it yesterday?"

"Nope. How could I get through something so boring? It doesn't even qualify as a time-waster during class. Well... I skimmed through it and almost finished," Li Mo said, propping his cheek on his hand.

What Zaimokuza had written was unexpectedly dull. It was filled with **a large amount** of settings and **terminology** without much explanation, leaving readers completely lost. The characters were flat, and the plot was uninteresting. It felt like a turn-based RPG—encounter enemies, fight, defeat enemies. Otherwise, it was just dumping **settings** and **backstory**.

Reading this, he'd rather listen to a lecture in class.

"As a member of the Service Club, it's inappropriate to approach helping others with such a **perfunctory** attitude," Yukinoshita Yukino said, her voice heavy with drowsiness but still managing to express her values.

Li Mo replied, "I'm being serious. If this were submitted to an editor, it would be rejected within the first few hundred words. Yukinoshita-san, you have to believe me. I've read a lot of novels."

He wore a sincere expression, looking as serious as possible.

Yukinoshita Yukino, unfamiliar with the light novel genre, could only half-believe him.

Fortunately, the main subject of discussion arrived soon after.

Hikigaya and Yuigahama arrived late.

The seating arrangement in the room was clear. From left to right, the Service Club members were Yuigahama Yui, Hikigaya Hachiman, Li Mo, and Yukinoshita Yukino. Zaimokuza sat at the center of the long table.

It felt a bit like a **three-judge trial**.

Li Mo shook off these irrelevant thoughts and asked, "Yukinoshita-san, are you awake now? How about you give the first critique?"

"Fine."

Yukinoshita Yukino nodded.

Zaimokuza's attention immediately shifted to Yukinoshita, eagerly awaiting her response.

"Boring," Yukinoshita gave her constructive critique.

"For the first time, I feel that reading is a painful experience—extremely boring."

"There are many grammatical issues. Why are there so many inverted sentences?"

"The usage of '的,' '地,' and '得' is incorrect. Why are there so many superscripts? What's the point?"

"Most importantly, the story isn't even finished."

"Aside from wasting paper, what value does this story have?"

Honesty was Yukinoshita Yukino's most precious quality. Even if her words stung, she would still speak them. This straightforward nature was her hallmark.

Zaimokuza clutched his chest, as if Yukinoshita's words had turned into sharp arrows piercing his heart.

"Following the principle of ladies first, Yuigahama-san, what are your thoughts?"

"Um... you know a lot of obscure characters."

Zaimokuza took a second blow.

Everyone knew that light novels were entertainment-oriented products aimed at the general public. They were meant to be easily understood by a wide audience, and using too many obscure characters made the story inaccessible—a major flaw.

"Then, Hikigaya-san?" Li Mo asked.

"Hikigaya, you're my best friend," Zaimokuza wailed.

"Zaimokuza, just admit it. Which light novel did you copy the plot from?"

"NOOOOO!!!" Zaimokuza, betrayed by his best friend, slumped back in his chair, unable to recover for a long time.

Being stabbed in the back by outsiders was one thing, but being betrayed by your closest friend was even more painful.

Li Mo tapped the table and said, "Alright, the critique session is over."

"Li-san, you haven't given your critique yet?"

"Is it necessary? Zaimokuza..."

Li Mo saw the look in Zaimokuza's eyes. The other person seemed to be saying, "Go ahead, say whatever you want. I can take it."

Yukinoshita, Hikigaya, and Yuigahama were all watching him.

"Could it be that Li-san hasn't finished reading the entire book, so he can't critique it? Are you... not up to it?" Yukinoshita said.

Li Mo replied, "Of course not! Fine, I'll say it."

"First, let's talk about the title. It's completely incomprehensible. It's long enough, but what does it even mean? Readers have no idea what the book is about. It doesn't convey the core of the story, the appeal of the characters, or even the unique selling point."

"The plot is cliché, and the writing feels fragmented. The ending of one story isn't resolved before jumping into the next. There are also random explanations of settings crammed in between."

"The female lead is poorly developed, stiff, and has little screen time. There's also a lack of fanservice. The story gets bogged down in its own setting explanations during fights. More importantly, the settings themselves are mediocre."

"No plot, no fanservice. So, what's the **highlight** of your story? It would be rejected within the first three hundred words."

Zaimokuza's spirit was utterly crushed.