autumn

Today is Friday, the last day of classes before the Christmas break. In a few months, we won't be meeting, so we plan to spend time together by going to the neighboring city. However, not everyone can join due to various reasons – some are absent, others have prior commitments. Only six of us decide to go, opting to take the city bus that passes in front of the campus.

As I board the bus, I take a seat by the window, thinking William would sit beside me. Surprisingly, Autumn takes the seat next to me. While sitting, he says,

"Mind if I sit beside you?"

I look at him puzzled,

"No, you're weird."

He just smiles and says,

"Good,"

handing me one of his earphones,

"Listen to this, it's good."

He starts suggesting songs he listens to, a routine we've done before. I take one earphone and put it on, and he plays Taylor Swift's "Back to December." When the song is almost over, he asks,

"Want to hear another song?"

He inquires about the next song I'd like to listen to.

"Slow Dancing in a Burning Room."

"John Mayer, right?"

I nod and say,

"Someone who can play the intro of this song is cool, in my opinion."

Confidently, he replies,

"So, am I cool then?"

I raise my eyebrow and say,

"Can you?"

With a mischievous smile, he says,

"Too easy; after all, I'm Justtine Mayer."

Yes, you heard it right, Justtine. His name is Justtine, the bespectacled guy I admire. I usually call him Tin. He's intelligent, broad-minded, friendly, and always attentive to everyone. You might wonder why I nicknamed him Autumn. It's because he appears cold but is actually warm. He often paints a picture for me of falling leaves, calm winds, and warm sunlight.

When we first met, he seemed cold and quiet. I rarely spoke to him, yet he appeared familiar with others. I thought maybe it was because I'm from out of town, not born and raised in the same city as them. I grew up in a small town near the coast, but after high school, I decided to study in a different city to gain new experiences. This made me think that they seldom talked to me because they grew up in a developed big city. However, over time, I started adapting, becoming more comfortable talking to everyone. I gathered the courage to initiate a conversation with Justtine for the first time, and it turns out we share the same hobbies: listening to music and watching movies. From there, we became close, often joking and sharing random things. I don't know how, but eventually, I realized I admired him. Every time he spoke, I felt genuinely enthusiastic, eagerly listening to every word and smiling whenever he laughed. I noticed I wasn't the only one captivated by his stories. Someone else shared the same enthusiasm, looking at him from the same perspective, and that someone was my close friend.

I thought I was the only one paying close attention to him, but it turns out someone close to me was also observing him. The way she looked at Justtine and the way she smiled at him mirrored how I perceived the person I nicknamed Autumn. I feel happy that Justtine has many admirers, but it feels odd when the person admiring him is someone close to me. However, it's not my right to claim, as anyone can admire and like someone they appreciate.

The bus stops at the mall's front halt, our destination. My five friends and I descend from the bus and head straight into the mall. Some want to shop, while others are looking for shoes and clothes. Eventually, we split up—Justtine, Helena, Billy, and I go together. William and Colins set out to find Christmas decorations.

As we head to Sport Station because Billy wants to check out shoes there, Justtine asks me to accompany him in searching for perfume since his has run out.

"Sky, can you accompany me to find perfume?"

I agree to his invitation.

I sometimes feel a bit awkward when it's just the two of us, and he tends to be less talkative in such moments compared to our group gatherings where he always has topics to discuss. Yet, I feel extremely happy having these one-on-one moments because his attention is solely on me. I'm the only one who knows how he smiles today.

He sprays a few times of the perfume on his wrist, then sniffs it, placing his wrist in front of my face and instructing me to smell the fragrance.

"Do you think it smells good?"

"It's okay, but I'm not a fan of strong scents."

"Well, then maybe you should try another one."

"If you like it, it's fine. It's just my opinion."

"Because later, you'll be the one smelling the perfume, so it better be pleasant."

I fall silent and confused, unsure about what he's talking about. My chest feels full, like a swarm of butterflies gathering, wanting to burst out. I'm baffled about how to respond to his statement, so I simply smile and say, "Why not choose something subtler?"

I spray my preferred perfume on my wrist and ask him to smell it. "How about this one?"

He smells the fragrance on my wrist again to confirm its scent. "Well, it's okay, but it's too sweet."

"Yeah, sweetness like the person choosing it."

Not accepting my words, he teases me, pretending to gag. "If you're sour."

"Look at yourself."

The perfume stand attendant laughs at our banter. "Dring dring" My phone rings, and I answer it outside the perfume store. It's a call from my mom, who daily checks on me. Sometimes, it feels like taking daily attendance. My mom typically asks about my daily activities. After finishing the call, I find Justtine has come out with a paper bag containing the perfume he bought. I don't know his perfume choice, and I don't ask. After that, we regroup at a restaurant with the others since we haven't had a chance to eat. It's a Japanese restaurant, William's choice, and we follow his recommendation.

While waiting for our ordered food, I'm busy texting with my brother as he plans to ask for my help in finding a watch. I vaguely hear William asking Justtine about the perfume he bought. Then, I fall silent and shift my gaze from my phone when I catch a whiff of the same fragrance as the one on my wrist. Glancing at William, he is trying the perfume Justtine bought, the one I recommended. William says, "It smells good," and adds, "Chosen by the sour one." He says this while looking at me.

I stay silent and am slightly surprised. He actually bought the perfume I suggested. Instances like this make me hope that he knows I admire him.

Summer

"He appears cold, but he's incredibly warm. He reminds me of falling leaves, calm winds, and warm sunlight. That's why I call him Autumn."