The Sin of Envy

Emiya had regretted it as soon as he said it, knowing he couldn't take it back. Listening to the words as they escaped his lips he lamented how the horror and pain crept into her face, and she closed off emotionally to him with each word. Furious with himself that he would stoop so low and allow jealousy over her feelings for Cú to get the better of him when he was here and Cú was not was unforgivable. He had sworn he would never hurt her and here he had in one of the cruelest ways possible.

To his surprise, she didn't scream or run off crying. Instead, she held back and accepted his insult before standing before him, ready to face his accusation, which he couldn't let her do. He couldn't let her be mad or recognize she might truly love Cú and never him. Even though his mind knew she might never, his heart broke to love her wanting to be in love with her every moment of every day.

So when she got close enough, and her mouth opened to protest he grabbed her arm and yanked her down before stuffing her in the crack of the couch between his body and its cushion. Telling her to be quiet and go to sleep, he cradled her against him, hoping the tangible feel of his closeness and the rhythmic beating of his heart would be all she needed to wash away the scars of the past.

Riddled with anxiety but letting her relax at her own pace, his heart ultimately succumbed to loving her after she whimpered her plea never to be left. Despite knowing that had been directed at Cú, whom she was most likely thinking of at that moment, Emiya answered anyway, swearing he would stay by her no matter what. Within seconds of confessing that desire, she had fallen fast asleep, giving him a rare opportunity to savor what he had coveted for so long.

"So this is what he felt night after night with you by his side." Emiya's hand coming up to stroke her hair carefully. "For someone so fierce, you are so vulnerable when you sleep and your body so pliant it could drive a man mad. No wonder he craved you every moment you were conscious."

Listening to her breathing to make sure she was deeply asleep, Emiya carefully collected a lock of hair before bringing it to his nose and breathing in her smell.

"Intoxicating. Is everything you do and are a drug?"

Dropping the strand, he tilted his head down to press his nose lightly to her crown so he could breathe in deeper the scent of orange blossom and honey.

"He's an idiot, you know, for leaving you."

Resisting the urge to turn into her and press her into the back of the couch so he could savor her closeness without resistance, he instead placed his free hand at her lower back and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against the arm rest. Thinking back, he felt stupid for not taking the chance. Sure he could have killed lancer and kept her for himself in the state she had been in, but in truth, he had to realize she wasn't ready to accept him like she was now.

Shifting slightly as she groaned in her sleep and clutched at him, locked in some dream that didn't seem to be going well, he brought his lips to the side of her head and whispered, "I'm here. Nothing will happen to you. Just rest and let me protect you." It was a phrase he would say a thousand times, and in millions of ways, yet locked in her dreams, he hoped it would engrain in the very fiber of her being.

Refusing to let her feel the loss of him abandoning her, Emiya swore on that night to never leave her side and to love her regardless of the cost as long as it kept her safe and happy.

"I would die for you, you know. I would have done it then just like now, but now I won't hesitate to do what needs to be done."

Letting his mind travel the surge of protectiveness he was feeling towards her, he thought back on all the times he had come across her and Cú locked in moments of intimacy or the times he had been forced to listen to that prick Lancer brag about his sexual conquest over her as if she was his to dominate, knowing full well Emiya held an attraction for Ria.

"Hey, Archer. Come close enough, and maybe you can still smell her pussy on my fingers after I milked her repeatedly last night when I strangle you. Would you like that? Do you want to go out sniffing another man's prize, so you realize how weak you are? She would never want you, Archer. At least not like she wants me, and even if you got her, she would only think of me because I have written my name on every inch of her body in semen, hickeys, and bite marks leaving you no place to claim. She's mine. Never forget that."

Ria had never seen Cú's offensive side, not as Emiya had. Laying here on the sofa as those dark memories tore at him, he curled himself around her, protectively pressing his lips against her head. Cú could never have her. SERYPH had chosen him, not Cú, to be her ideal champion, so no matter what that blue-haired twat said...

She suddenly shifted in her sleep, causing Emiya to release his hold until she settled again, her hand now over his heart as it rested on his chest. Suddenly filled with love and pride, he took that as a sign of her unconscious trust which he knew he could build on to create something far more lasting and profound than Cú could ever have.

"Even if you never love me, I will love you enough for both of us as you are the piece of my soul I have been missing." His final whisper was the last thing to breach the silence before they both let sleep claim them.